Friday, July 14, 2006

Dumb

Here is some dumb stuff.

An Erin O'Brien classic:

This one is from November of last year. Enjoy some plastic dead guys and ladies who lunch on me. (And a tip-o-the-hat to PDD, who has been with me from the beginning. As far as this guy is concerned, not sure if he's still around, but I love him anyway.)

Searches that brought 'em here:

Someone looking to "masturbate with hummingbird flosser" via Google came to this post, which was somewhat underappreciated when it first ran. Maybe I feel this way because that is really and truly the way that chick talked the entire time she cleaned my teeth and I had to endure it.

"Shaved scrotom" garnered me a #1 Google hit for this post due largely in part to Jesus's misspelling of scrotum in the comment section.

Someone interested in "how long can a human live with your head chopped off" stopped by the Owner's Manual via a #3 hit on a Yahoo search.

No idea why, but "men hate freckles" Googled someone over to this post.

Someone asked All the Internet "is doritos nacho cheese hal" and got directed here.

Erin O'Brien factoids:

I am 5' 1" tall and weigh one hundred and erfelmingrupert pounds. My middle name is Elizabeth.

Blatant solicitation:

Would you please, please, PLEASE buy my book? It's only about ten bucks and it's a good effing book. Right now, my Amazon sales rank is 328,833. Come on, people, let's see if we can get that effer down under 10,000. If you want an autographed copy, send me a check for $20 and I'll send you a signed book and probably a goodie or two. Here's the address:

Erin O'Brien
P. O. Box 470167
Broadview Hts. OH 44147

I love you mother effers.

25 comments:

Blonde Vigilante said...

Erin Elizabeth,

I have too much to say. There is too much to comment on. I'm too hung over. I should become a dental hygenist.

Mackenzie

I just spelled my name wrong and had to retype it. It's Friday.

Denny Shane said...

Well, as you know, I have already purchased you book, Harvey and Eck... which I heard was under consideration by big Hollywood types.

Here's the question. How much do I have to pay for an autograph since I already have the book and only have to spend an arm and leg for postage to and from?

P.S. Could you also write how great I was the last time we were together? Thank you

Toby said...

I've been getting a lot of "morning wood" searches.

Doug Hoffman said...

The check is in the mail.

I always wanted to say that to a woman. Trouble is, my wife won't let me at the check book. There's a fundamental lack of trust due to my inability to balance said book. But I shall try.

I got a "sexy vs. skanky" search hit today, and lots of "Duggar" hits, which either means Michelle has popped out #17 or cable TV is showing those stupid "15 and pregnant" documentaries again. (If you don't know WTF i'm talking about, come to my place and use 'Duggar' as a search term.)

Anonymous said...

erin--This is 'eyeball'. I love your middle name. I love your book Harvey & Eck. And I think you are beautiful.

offtopic: Nothing happend on my date--by today's standards. But by 1950's standards, I would be rolling in the envy of every red blooded American on the face of this planet.

nadina said...

i would love an autographed copy .So how much would that be in Canadian?

Hal said...

"Glendale armenian pussy" got someone to my blog. So did "Cleveland accent."

josh williams said...

nc Oyster toad fish was a google search that found me today. I bought and reviewed your book on Amazon. I gave you glowing reviews...DOh! Dont hate me for trying.

~d said...

WAA-BOO! I don't know how to read the statistic things...abt as far as I can understand is that I have more visits than views-or the other way around.

That is some FUNNY shit, though-I want to know what searches bring ME up...

(sigh)

Maybe I don't have the RIGHT ONE installed. Hmmm.

*heard you had a rendezvous last night. sorry I missed it.*
Have a good weekend!

Erin O'Brien said...

BV: I am glad I am not the only one who is hungover and misspells her name (although I need not be hungover to misspell it--that can happen anytime). LOVE Mackenzie.

Denny: send me an address off list ( eobnow@yahoo.com ) and I shall send you an autographed sticker of some sort for FREE to place in your book. That goes for anyone else, by the way.

And I'm not the sort to kiss and tell, tiger ... purr.

Toby: Can't the girls find it straight away? Tell them to give me a ring and I'll give them some advice.

Hoffman: As long as I don't have to read about the tonsil boogers again.

Anon: I am, of course, mad about you too, darling. Congratulations on the "Leave it to Beaver" success.

Nadina: Like I could ever figger out such a thing. I'm lucky I am able to navigate throught the 24 hours of a day! You're best off consulting an expert of some sort. Wasn't Joni Mitchell from Canada?

Hal: I am responsible for not only your 'Cleveland accent' hits, but your 'Glendale armenian pussy' hits as well.

Josh: Thank God you're here. Please sent the nc Oyster toad fish over straight away! It's an emergency!

~d: I use statcounter.com. We missed you last night! Catch you next time, baby.

PDD said...

Alright, I have already been thinking about purchasing a few for people as gifts. If I can get this effing job.

I have only been with you from the beginning because you are spectacular!

n said...

hum, Joni does have a place up the coast..no really. I have seen her. Anyhoo..guess money order is the plan.

Dean said...

Doug: does 'Duggar' rhyme with 'booger'? Just curious.

O'Brien: I'll buy your book, but not till next week, seeing as I'm out of town.

Douglas Hoffman said...

Duggar, as in Doug-er.

O'Brien: tonsil boogers are my bread and butter.

Denny Shane said...

ok Erin... I'm gonna call your bluff and am sending you my sticker. But what kind of autograph am I getting post-it size or 8.5 x 11 gigantic size with un-retouched photos (you have to supply photos)

Erin O'Brien said...

PDD: We are fabulous, aren't we?

n: Tell Joni that I tried her gazpacho recipe and everyone flipped for it.

Hoff: Now there's an image to start my day. Tonsil booger sandwiches. Ugh.

Denny: No idea what I'll come up with. Eff. I guess it depends on what Office Max has to offer.

Dean said...

So I still don't know how long people can live with their heads chopped off. I'm guessing it's not long, but what do I know?

exposed said...

oh oh!! i'm 5'1 too!! yea short people!!

~d said...

Thanks for the statcounter info..Ihave been here a WHILE tongiht-byt I guess you can tell that-SO FLIPPIN COOL!! Maybe I will be able to understand this one.
Arrggghh.

Toby said...

exposed has a fab avatar

Erin O'Brien said...

Dean: Hey, I'm not sure about that. Look how long the President of the United States has been going around without a head?

Exposed: Wore 4" heels last night and now I'm spending the day with toes that keep cramping, causing me to leap up and jump around. Better to just accept being tiny.

~d: Happy statcounter, girl.

Toby: Or, those gleaming shifting eyes of your see all!

Zen Wizard said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Zen Wizard said...

^ That was my Delete. I was PO'ed cuz I just bought a book.

(Though I guess two of them would make my coffee table more stable.)

Hal said...

By the way, I am a proud owner and reader of H & E, and you all should be too.

Erin O'Brien said...

Thanks to Hal and Zen both, as well as everyone who has bought or read the book. It means the world to me. And I should also say that there are several copies of "Harvey & Eck" available at the Cleveland Public Library as well as the Cuyahoga County Public Library.