Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Sunday Morning Share Time #18, two days late

Ironically, Mr. Toast and I reveal entirely too much of ourselves in the comment section of this post while Hef's nude Playmates fail to reveal much at all.*

Regarding the impolite controversy over how hirsute a woman should be, there was at least one dissenting opinion posted last week.

I love men.

*I do not believe it is possible to impregnate either of the women shown in Mr. Toast's post. I am unsure if they are capable of coitus. It is possible they are not real at all, but just some cyber-creation: big Barbies with delicately rouged nipples formed out of a few million pixels. And if a woman is not capable of pregnancy or coitus or the act of breathing, she is surely sexless. So these Hef-Hers are sexless.

And this makes me happy happy happy.

Mr. Hefner and his minions might wrinkle his nose over a zoftig and mature girl like me, but no one can say I'm sexless.

Erin: 1; Playmates: 0

41 comments:

Demetriusz Kobayashi said...

Firearms Center invites clients to before Hurricane Katrina flooded the Jr. of Harvard University. Really, its Seattle makes you feel like a pod runway at Midway and into traffic,

jamwall said...

i love chicks made out of teflon..

Toby said...

They're Real Dolls.

Larry said...

There are many aspects to this controversy....some aesthetic and some practical. Space is too limited to explore all sides of the story.
I, for one, prefer that my women look like women, not nine year olds. A thick bush connotes an earthy sexiness that is hard to resist. It also provides a convenient (and comfortable) spot to rest one's chin.
One must not forget that hair increases the surface area of the pubic area, facilitating the dispersal of pheremones!
Personally, my favorites are dark, red and blonde.


Q: What is the sound a pubic hair makes when it hits the ground?

A: Pttuuuiiii !!!!

Larry said...

What do Erin and her friends think about "Himsuteness" ?

Erin O'Brien said...

Mr. Kobayashi: Cleft over in the metropolitan triumvirate with perpendicular lattice. Bicarbonate cosine of embellished thrust,

Jam: See Toby's link.

Toby: Those things creep me out!

Thank you, Larry, for bringing forth an excellent question. We enjoy lively intercourse here at the Owner's Manual and yours is just the sort of fodder we're looking for.

I have thought long and hard about your question. And the fact is this: I've never seen one that looked as though the surrounding area had been coiffed or shaved or combed or anything. If I were to run into one that had garnered it's ... er ... master's hygenic attention, it would surely get my attention.

"Hey! You shaved around your dick!"

Hm.

I like to consider myself an open-minded girl. But I must say that just typing that makes me think that the whole experience would detract from the business at hand.

Thanks again, Larry, for putting this topic on the table. I invite my dear readers to comment copiously on it.

Toby said...

I'm not a fan of hair. I floss enough in front of my bathroom mirror.

Mone said...

well as long as the hair is trimmed its o.k., but I had a dude at one time who was totally shaved around his balls. And I was like thinking, what did he do that for, is there something I should know?

Jesus Toast said...

Hi.
You're cute.
Lets do it.

Larry said...

Why do I do this? I need to finish spray painting the legs on my bandsaw stand!

At any rate, shaved male genetalia give new meaning to the phrase, "bumpin' uglies."

Dongley Shlongford said...

I'm strangely attracted to these lipless women. I can finally draw maps of Polynesian Island chains without that pesky oceanic trench always getting in the way. The Shlong keeps his boys closely shorn. It heightens sensitivity.
Oh la la.

Larry said...

I had a shaved scrotum at one point. Decided that it just wasn't my bag!!! :))

OK, thats it for today..

Jesus Toast said...

I do have a shaved scrotom, cleanliness is next to godliness...or at least near my taint...

Erin O'Brien said...

Toby: Thank you for today's Poetry Entry.

Mone: You couldn't have accused him of trying to hide it, that's for sure.

JT: Sure. Pick me up at 8 p.m.

Larry: THAT is the best detail you could have revealed about yourself (bandsaw legs). As far as the uglies and subsequent joke, go back to your shop, young man, and stay there.

Dong: "his boys closely shorn" Thank you for your Poetry Entry, but as you can see, Toby beat you to the punch.

Toast: *loss for words*

Vince said...

They do the same thing to hamburger ads. I've never seen a burger like those in real life.

Erin O'Brien said...

Okay, now that Vince showed up (thank god) with the only appropriate comment of the day, and I've had a chance to collect myself, isn't the scrotum usually fairly hairless? I asked myself.

Nonpulussed, I consulted a good reference* and I believe that image verifies that most of the pubic hair associated with the male anatomy surrounds the phallus.

Just a technical point, people.

*My word. Those folks over at Wikipedia certainly found an excellent example to go along with the entry.

Blonde Vigilante said...

Okay, so as much as I fucking hate those chicks (no I really don't look like that chick eating cake to the right...she's a fucking decoy)...if I were as rich as Hef and had the power to will young men in single bounds...do not doubt that I would have several young, well hung, good looking men made out of plastic for my disposal.

I would make them tell me how beautiful I was while I stuffed my fat ass face with cake.

The end!

Erin O'Brien said...

Blonde V: Clearly, you are a woman from whom I can learn a great deal. Please stop in here at the Owner's Manual any time. I'll be happy to tell you you're beautiful. Anyone with a plan like yours must be.

Dongley Shlongford said...

GET TO KNOW ME!

Blonde Vigilante said...

Erin - Thanks...I came by yesterday and really enjoyed the story about your father. I will continue to come back.

Jesus Toast said...

...tonight is my wife's night out, we're going to have to wait until next Monday night....and I need directions...I know I should drive south until I leave my state, but after that I'm a bit uncertain where you are located...

Erin O'Brien said...

Dong, just looking at your Avatar makes me believe I know so very, very, much.

BV: And I'll bake a Bundt!

JT: Follow the wind that smells of roses. Go to the edge of Lake Erie. I shall wait for you in a gown of Prussian blue silk, a basket of chocolate and bread hanging from my arm. We will go to my rooms, high above the water and we will Know one another as a tempest takes hold of the lake. With the windows propped open, rain and wind shall blow all around us.

My face will be illluminated at the moment of climax, as lightning stikes over the waves.

Vince said...

There goes my idea for a spicy Bratwurst and cabbage dinner. I guess I'll settle for a baloney sandwich.

Erin O'Brien said...

Or we could do what Vince suggested. In that case, bring beer.

Toby said...

And then we could all visit Jane's blog and tell cabbage and beer fart stories.

nadina said...

my hump, my hump no hair on my love hump

Jozee said...

They're not just waxed they're erased!

Maybe they're all transexuals with only the top half done.

Nothin very sexy at Heff's lately.

Larry said...

Jozee...the guy HAS to be 80 something....he probably forgot what those things are for!

Erin O'Brien said...

Toby: Your blinking eyes still mesmerize. Purr.

Nadine: Oh, you minx!

Jozee: I can't figger out those chix to save my life.

Larry: Poor Hef, the USA's bestest example of a self-made icon turned cliche.

Erin like reg'lar guys ...

~d said...

damn, damn damn I hate being late to a party! DAMN!
Ummm, keep hair-def prefer a minimun...shaved taint, JT? Curious abt that...
Uhh-what the eff else...how come sometimes I see this little sign at the top of the comment box that says 'show original post' and sometime I don't?
How come sometimes i talk out my ass?

FLAMINGO1 said...

I'm pretty certain that little slitty part is important. Not positive, but last time I was in the area, that seemed like a really good idea.

Although, when I say it out loud, it sort of turns me on to say, "they airbrushed her bush" - anyone else?

~d said...

they.airbrushed.her.bush.

josh williams said...

Hell's flames! Roscoe posted a story, Katie bar the door!

mushroom said...

Oh My God they are manniquins right??

Erin O'Brien said...

~d: As long as you finaly made it. That's all that matters. No idea about the message at the top of the box.

Flam: Come on over her and brush me with air, baby.

Josh: You need to take your medicine, darling.

Shroom: Certainly seems to be the case. Although methinks you wouldn't have to worry about VD with these girls.

n said...

damn , that sounded like I was singing in praise of the hairless beanless can't flick a hump girls. I say trim it but be a woman. There is so much to say on theis topic ...

Toby said...

Wink wink

Zen Wizard said...

So you're saying, you couldn't get an 82 year-old guy to do ya?

I'm glad you can be so philosophical about that. Most women might be a little bitter.

Even misandristic.

(Try using THAT word three times in casual conversation today!!!)

Erin O'Brien said...

n-Don't worry, I knew what you meant.

toby-Nudge nudge.

Zen-At this point, I don't know who is who, how old they are and who wants to do who.

boo-hoo!

Probably about time for a new post ...

Last Girl On Earth said...

Just found your blog via Jungle Jane. But it looks like we have quite a few of the same friends. I'm suprised I hadn't run across you before! I've been reading some of your stuff, and I think I really "get" you! (That's truly a compliment!)I've blogrolled you and I'll be back soon. Thanks for a great read this afternoon!

Dean said...

I'm commenting late because I wandered over here from Doug's last night.

This, and the post at Jesus' that started it, got me thinking. Thinking enough that I've got half an essay in my head already.

Feminists, with whom I agree on very little, are right in their claims that Playboy promotes unrealistic images of women. Because, as everyone notes, those don't look like actual women. Playboy has always been big with the Photoshop (and with the airbrush before that) but it has reached the state of absurdity, in which already siliconed
, shaved, plucked, and painted females STILL don't look quite smooth enough, and so all suggestions of hairy, messy pudenda are digitally scrubbed away.

I will note that they don't look like ten year old girls, either. It ain't a closet pedophelia thing.

It's that Playboy produces product shots. They use the same techniques that restaraunt food photographers use. Right now, that means, for Playboy, occasionally non-existent bush, and totally absent labia.

However, I will say that I think that the current trend toward genital shaving has nothing to do with either Playboy, or with the aforementioned closet pedophilia. A mature woman, shaved, does not look like a girl. In fact, the tasty bits are that much more in evidence.

In my personal opinion, the fashion for personal shaving has to do with porn chic and with sexual freedom. The thing is that shaved genitals are simply easier to get at and more sensitive to touch. When it comes to sex, that's a good thing.

Anyway, the subject of female beauty is something I feel strongly about, and I'll probably write something longer over the next couple of days.