Wednesday, March 26, 2008

My dental hygienist

My dental hygienist is from Montana.

My dental hygienist is a Libra, which is an air sign. The parents of my dental hygienist were both earth signs. This made the task of raising my dental hygienist difficult for the parents of my dental hygienist.

Simon Le Bon is not manly enough for my dental hygienist.

My dental hygienist likes some children. My dental hygienist does not like other children.

Some children, says my dental hygienist, are just evil and the collective human population, including my dental hygienist, needs to help them by putting them in jail.

My dental hygienist bought 45 miniature Santa Claus mugs for $5.43. This, says my dental hygienist, is the reward for shopping off-season.

If my dental hygienist ever gets married again, she will do much of the wedding crafts herself. My dental hygienist, however, does not think she will get married again.

My dental hygienist has loved the smell of gasoline ever since she was a little girl.

My dental hygienist was very upset about Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston splitting up. My dental hygienist does not know why she was so upset. Angelina Jolie is dirty now, according to my dental hygienist.

My dental hygienist has two cats, two dogs, one bunny and one ferret.

My dental hygienist does not have children.

The ex father-in-law of my dental hygienist says "Bloody" a lot.

My dental hygienist owns a device called "the hummingbird" that is a vibrating tooth-flosser. My dental hygienist would not recommend a product unless that product can deliver something unto her patients that they cannot deliver unto themselves. My dental hygienist recommends "the hummingbird" to her patients with great enthusiasm.

My dental hygienist wishes she had someone with whom to share the chores.

My dental hygienist is a people person. "I'm a people person!" says my dental hygienist.

My dental hygienist writes poetry.

Originally posted here in March, 2006. Comments left intact. Feel free to add yours.

33 comments:

Denny Shane said...

you're dentist also sounds like a ... ummm geez, what's the word I want to use here... ummm...

Roscoe said...

One time at tooth camp, your dental hygienist. . .

Dongley Shlongford said...

Sounds like she could use a good rogering.

Maureen McHugh said...

I can see you, helpless, mouth open, while this tidal wave of information threatens to drown you...

FLAMINGO1 said...

Weird...

Your dental hygienist is my secretary/assistant.

Did she show you any pictures of her boyfriend?

It's such a small world, isn't it?

PDD said...

I have always like the smell of gasoline.

Like everyone else on this board I agree; your dental hygienist needs some serious probing. Also, she would do well trading in her hummingbird for a blue angel. You can tell her I said that. You could even give her my legal name. I give you full permission.

PDD said...

liked the smell of gasoline, not like. Sorry

n said...

Our's is called 'Bloody Mary' behind her back.She makes you feel pain for not flossing. She gives lots of life lesson lectures.
Your hygienist makes me sad. I am glad she has pets. I wonder if she cleans their teeth....ask next time you go to the dentist.

Carol said...

If that were my dental hygenist, I would run, screaming from the office . . . TMI TMI TMI

Hal said...

Every dental hygenist I had when I went to the dentist was HOT!

I have a feeling that even if your hygenist was hotter than...oh, I don't know...Angelina Jolie???...she would lose her hotness because she simply wouldn't SHUT UP!!!

Toby said...

My dental hygenist uses scare tactics. Though my teeth are far from perfect, I have never had a cavity, yet she insists my jaw bones are decaying at an alarming rate. She's a hygenist, not a DDS nor a Radiologist, not even an xray technician. When I asked my dentist about my deteriorating jaw bones, he told me I have nothing to worry about. Next, he called the hygenist into the examining room and yelled at her.

Erin, next time you should recommend your hygenist scrap her hummingbird and purchase one of these.

Hope Dangling said...

are you sure that hummingbird is for teeth cleaning???hmmmm?

Erin O'Brien said...

Let's keep the party polite, Denny.

Roscoe .... got a good rogering courtesy of Dongley.

McHugh: this is 100% nonfiction.

Flam--please, take her back to Arizona

PDD--I am assuming the blue angel to which you refer is not associated with the annual air show.

Carol-- next time, perhaps I will.

Hal--A. J. has no worries over this one, believe me.

HD--I wondered the same thing. you should have seen the sparkle in her eye.

Now then, for the darling Toby. I, too, have a mac and an iPod, so baby, you are speaking to me on the very (ahem) deepest level. Add to that: finding my word cloud then linking me? Heady, heady, stuff baby. I am swooning.

Toby said...

I can only add this.

Melanhead said...

All of this sounds like my vibrator.

garrett said...

One person's torture is apparently one other persons regifting...

(Hey - thanks for getting rid of word verification. I go away for a week and all kinds of beautiful things happen!)

Captain Carl said...

Arrrr....ay have ta agree with PDD the smell of Gas is wonderful, almost makes me wish ay had a motorboat, almost makes me wish ay had a dental hygienist.......

Erin O'Brien said...

Toby, now THAT is just the sort of minimalist invitation that makes me purr.

Melan--Your vibrator writes poetry? I never knew they could be so versatile. Maybe I should get one and see if it will do the laundry.

garrett (you're welcome)

cappy--If you think it smells good, you should try a jigger on the rocks.

Toby said...

Now I know where you're taking me.

The Velvet Fog said...

"Offline"
Story of my life.

kellywalters said...

and she likes to clean teeth..

Me said...

I have something called a hummingbird too but it sure as hell ain't a flosser. Oh, okay, maybe it isn't a hummingbird. I lied. But it flutters like one.

Toby said...

Don't come or go away mad. Or the hygenist will get you every time.

nicole said...

Do you always get a background check on your medical professionals before you make an appointment? ;)

Oh fyi, my blog address has changed. it's now: http://nicolemart.badtofu.com.

beissirissa said...

Interesting blog about hunger for lust, keep up the good work hunger for lust

Anonymous said...

ha I can just see you trapped in the chair ,blinking ..note to self.This lady makes a good character in a book.
We call our D.H. bLOODY mARY.
Nadina

shaina said...

i miss my old dental hygenist. she was nice. and hot. stupid dental plan made me leave the pediatric dentist--where i'd been for 15 years. grrph. the ladies at the new office are old. booo.

Leslie said...

Is your dental hygenist Robyn?

Helen Mansfield said...

Did she really have to bring Simon Le Bon into the conversation? Sheesh.

josh williams said...

My most memorable dentist dates back a few years.He just died this year, my mom cut out the obituary.Our family had bonded with this Dr. so to speak.
Later after we had moved and he had lost his license for self medication prescriptions, we felt bad for the guy...It was not until we read his obituary that we discovered what had become of him and what he had done with his life.
Why and he as and will remain as my favorite dentist is that after all of his problems he "done good".
This is a true memory the best can recall.

Carla said...

Wow, I know nothing about my dental hygienist.

Jarvis Rockhall said...

I don't even have a dental hygienist

Dental Assistant Salary said...

Thanks for the post..