Bye neighbor

I'll be flam-tooted iffin the Joad family didn't just pull up stakes. Told me they're on their way to Californee.

I gave them one of my last two cans of beans and all the best wishes I could muster.

Spot-on commentary about Palin and her Dad during CBS/Couric interview

The bisexual post

In order to honor our leader's bipartisanship politics and because I need a break but cannot really take one as this is not a religious holiday for me like it is for some, I offer this bisexual post.

Ladies: why is it that a bottle of facial moisturizer goes from 100 percent full to 10 percent full in about eight weeks, then goes from 10 percent full to empty in about three weeks?

Gentlemen: why is it that my Mini Cooper fuel gauge (as well every other fuel gauge on every other car I've driven) goes from full to a quarter tank over the course of 250 miles, then goes from a quarter tank to empty in about 75 miles?

Now then, the following is sexual, but not necessarily bisexual (you will see boobies , but no nice hard thick throbbing members). As good Americans, I suggest you go over here and view the dirty version of the trailer for Pirates: Stagnetti's Revenge. I don't know why, but it made me laugh like hell.

For those needing to continue a political discussion, please go to the comment bisextion in the previous post as there seems to be a lot of that sort of action over there.

I will be popping in and out. For now, I am going to do something simple that I can understand and clean the house.

Dutifully yours,

Erin O'Brien
American
Writer
Human Being
Sexually Interested Participant
Usual Suspect
Purveyor of Truth
Housewife

I am moving to Canada

My respect for the Republicans was short-lived. Now that the elephants are saying they voted against the bail-out not because they were finally standing up to Bush's fear-mongering, but because Nancy Pelosi was mean is absolutely mind-boggling. I guess that means that the Congressional Republicans vote based not on the pertinent legislation, but whether or not someone has said something to make them poopy mad!

Good christ awmighty. I cannot believe this. YOU MORONS CAN'T BLAME PELOSI FOR YOUR OWN PARTY VOTING AGAINST LEGISLATION PUT FORTH BY YOUR REPUBLICAN PRESIDENT.

Oh and looky that. McCain is on TV saying that now is not time for placing blame. Jeepers, I wonder why?

Someone wake me up, please.

When a Wall Street Fat Cat doesn't get his cake

Wall Street bail out: poetic justice?

"The measure needs 218 votes for passage. Democrats voted 141 to 94 in favor of the plan, while Republicans voted 65 to 133 against. That left the measure with 206 votes for and 227 against." --CNN

There is a certain terrible beauty in this largely Republican revolt. I don't like it and I doubt it's smart, but I've gained more respect for the Republican party within the last hour than I have in the last eight years.

Monday morning rant

Okay, I am ready to step out of the delusion cloud and face the fact that Sarah Palin will not bow out of the upcoming election despite getting hammered from every direction.*

Predictably, instead of standing up to her critics, Palin is no where to be found. Instead, Republicans here and there are singing her virtues. I just heard Romney blatantly ignoring questions on the Today show about doubts surrounding Palin. He just breezily touted her as a wonderful maverick. I couldn't stand it, so I turned off the box and sat down to write this. Other conservatives** are saying that Saturday's SNL skit was mean and that the low low expectations the country has for Palin are bound to have her coming out on top in Thursday's debate.***

WHAT? Mean? This is presidential politics, you candy-asses. And low expectations? Oh, how their tune has changed since the Hillary days. At least none of the Palin spin seems to be working.

*Yeah, I know that Biden has had his share of gaffes as well. Here's the difference: Biden has been out there campaigning and interviewing all the time. So sure, he misspeaks once in a while--maybe even more than once in a while. On the other hand, every single thing that comes out of Palin's mouth is moronic in content, language and form, which is why the McSleaze camp just shuts her up.

**I'm starting to have trouble with the term "conservative" these days. Can anyone give me one single example of prudence or conservation that the Bush Administration displayed over the past eight years? We've had a bogus preemptive war without a funding plan or exit strategy, and a rootin' tootin' free for all economy that has led us to the brink of a complete financial meltdown. Then there's the matter of that little $10 trillion deficit and one massive bailout after another. So one example--that's all I'm asking for--one example of CONSERVATISM out of the conservatives over the past eight years.

***Hal Perry put a reminder bug in my ear about the rumored bug in Bush's ear in a 2004 debate against Kerry. Any possible way the McSleaze camp would try such a trick with Palin this Thursday?

Category five Palin

Last night on CNN, Stephanie Miller called Sarah Palin a "category five disaster." Seems like many an elephant agree.


I am savoring my images of the McCain campaign, furiously scratching their heads over the impending VP debate. Are we better off with her or without her? they're musing ala Dear Abby. After all, playing the mom card offers such an easy exit .....

FADE IN

Sara Palin to adoring group of actors hand selected by Team McCain: "It's been an honor and a priviledge to stand next to John McCain."

(enthusiastic applause accompanied by grand nodding from Palin)

"The challenges before my son Trig are complex and delicate. The new life my daughter Bristol faces is also complex and delicate, but in a different way."

(a brave gaze from Palin as a respectful moment of silence allows this touching and beautifully honest admission to garner its rightful emotion)

"My children need a full time mother right now."

(a brief and somewhat bated pause)

"And this country needs a full time Vice President."

(shocked silence accompanied by resolute purse-lipped nodding from Palin)

"I am always a mother first ... "

So what do you think? Is it still possible for Palin to drop out? The fact that McCain kept her under wraps after the debate does not bode well.

What say you, bloggers?

Could someone please tell me which candidate this 30-second ad endorses?

Ciao Paul

Dear America,

If you're looking for a president who will charge into the White House with a plan to save $3 million by putting an end to that terrible money-sink bear DNA study, John McCain is your man.

Old fat rich white guy trickle down economics, condescending arrogance and more ham-fisted American Bully foreign policy: that's John McCain!

If you don't believe it, he'll tell you for himself in the embedded links over here.

A beautiful, beautiful thing

Even a dyed-in-the-red-wool conservative female columnist thinks selecting Palin as the Republican VP nominee was the Hindenburg of ideas:

"Palin's recent interviews with Charles Gibson, Sean Hannity and now Katie Couric have all revealed an attractive, earnest, confident candidate. Who Is Clearly Out Of Her League.

No one hates saying that more than I do. Like so many women, I've been pulling for Palin, wishing her the best, hoping she will perform brilliantly. I've also noticed that I watch her interviews with the held breath of an anxious parent, my finger poised over the mute button in case it gets too painful. Unfortunately, it often does. My cringe reflex is exhausted.

... Only Palin can save McCain, her party and the country she loves. She can bow out for personal reasons, perhaps because she wants to spend more time with her newborn. No one would criticize a mother who puts her family first.

Do it for your country."

--Kathleen Parker for Townhall.com

I falsely predicted Palin would bow out long ago. Anybody think it might still happen? Maybe McCain can get Ted Nugent to replace her.

When good Erins turn bad

McCain's theatrical grandstanding at the expense of the country has me so disgusted, I do what Erins will do when cornered. I made bad nachos.


Take a handful of shitty bagged Tostitos

Plop a slice of Velveeta on top.

Nuke for 30 seconds.

Dump store-bought salsa on top.

Consume while standing in front of the kitchen sink, staring out the window and wondering how in the hell the country has come to this moment.

Dear conservative and republican readers,

Please view the following video and tell me what your candidate is saying. I have viewed it several times and, even if you gave me $700 billion, I could not tell you what Ms. Palin is trying to tell me.


Watch CBS Videos Online

christ awmighty

"I just heard on NPR

that Senator McCain has requested the Presidential debates be postponed on account of the economy. He has also requested, on account of a stomach ache, that he be excused from gym."

--fellow blogger Megan Call

"What's really sobering

is that the McCain campaign continues to block Palin from answering questions even though it's now resulting in reams and reams of bad press for the McCain-Palin ticket. That suggests McCain advisers know that letting her answer even the most elementary questions in an uncontrolled environment is so dangerous that it's worth weathering the current media drubbing they're taking in order to prevent it from happening at all costs."

--Greg Sargent for TPM Election Central

Asif know

Pakistan's President Asif Ali Zardari explains why McCain chose Palin as a running mate.

A Rainy Day Funny and damn if we couldn't use it right now ...

In my Rainy Day Woman column this week, I offer up some uncommon sense for the next President of the United States.

If you have something to say about it, please email my editor Frank Lewis at flewisATclevesceneDOTcom and be sure to include your full name and city.

Be a good girl

McCain has shoved his sock in Palin's mouth again.

Two ifs

1. If I thought it would make a difference, I'd lead a One Million Angry Suburban Housewives March straight to Washington where we'd start chewing off dicks.

2. If I hear the phrase "Wall Street" (evil) juxtaposed against "Main Street" (wholesome) one more time, I may just go chew off a dick based on general principal.

One hundred hours

If there were one hundred hours in a day, I would still not have enough time to write all the things I need to write.

So, since I don't have time to write my Obama post today (which I need to write and I will write) and since we could all use a break from politics and since I have been inspired by Mr. Rory Aronsky, I will instead post a terrific YouTube.



Who's seen The Swimmer? Who loves it? Thoughts? And how many who have never seen it can't wait to see it after viewing that trailer?

Burn baby burn

The financial crisis we face today is purely a product of the classic Republican doctrine "let free markets reign" left unchecked. You will not find any balanced political forum draw it any other way. Even the dissolution of the Glass-Steagall Act in 1999 (when Clinton signed the veto-proof legislation) was precluded by all sorts of legislative gobbledy-gook courtesy of the Republicans and perpetuated by the banking industry, which then waxed gleeful at its demise.

And now Bushie is trying to wrench one colossal golden egg out of Joe American as a parting gift to the banking industry using fear, fear, fear. Oh yeah? Well I remember when Bush's imaginary weapons of mass destruction threatened the world too.

You filthy cheating lying bastards. Maybe we should just let the whole goddamn game go down in a spectacular fireball and see what's left when the smoke clears.

Phone cam round up

Looks like the sky is falling and although I've been reading/listening to politics all weekend, I'm still just now starting to get my hands around this mother. Yes, it is true that Clinton signed legislation rescinding the Glass-Steagall Act in 1999. No, I don't fully understand the SEC's 2004 decision to allow 30-to-1 debt-to-net capital ratio for the five big banks yet--but I know it was a bad thing, particularly considering they're the ones on the road to Shitcanistan. Yes, I'm still sure we don't stand a chance in hell under McCain. No, Obama does not yet have his hands fully around this mess either, nor will he clean it up in four years, but at least he'll start. We may not clean this up in 40 years.

Godspeed, America.

And that ain't a word I use very often. So to hell with it all for now. Here's a phone cam round up.


Hey dude, you dropped your Barbie leg.


What's the problem metal mister? You told all the cars how fast they were going. Can't you figger out how fast an Erin goes?


Hey Dubya? Got your lunch right here.


Even though some baddie opened up that package of fancy m&m's right in the store and left 'em like that for anybody to reach in and try them without bellying up the $3.99, I resisted! So did my kid! We went on ahead and bought a package proper. Guess what? They're not so hot. Shoulda bought those creamy-filled Lindt balls instead. Oh well.


No thanks, I look silly in sparkle pink.

Here is a wonderful diversion.

The republicaniest republican of all time rails against McCain

Blood-red Republican Ben Stein agrees with Obama economic adviser Robert Reich on the McCain/Bush economy, "It terrifies me."

From "Larry King Live" September 17, 2008.

Two items

1. Surprise, surprise. Donald Trump is supporting McPalin.

I like The Donald. I often fantasize that if I were to be a contestant on The Apprentice, Trump would immediately recognize my splendored genius, pluck me from the ranks and hustle me off to a private office wherein I would draft documents for him for $10 a word.

I also respect The Donald's most recent political endorsement. Trump knows that old fat rich white guys look out for other old fat rich white guys. So unless you are an old fat rich white guy, I suggest you vote Obama 2008.

Am I making any cents?

2. I have been obliged to add Mr. Smith to my blogroll. My oh my the Internet doth maketh strangeth bedfellows.

Timeline

So you're walking down Royalwood Road where you walk all the time, listening to Warren Olney on your iPod and some guy in a green pickup drives by and honks. You have no idea who it is but since everyone in this town knows you, you wave back like you always do. You keep on walking and listening and thinking that someone somewhere ought to kick the President in the United States of America square in the nuts when lo an behold, that green pick up comes back around, going the opposite way and honks at you again.

So you wave again and keep walking.

When the pick up turns around yet again and passes you, honking, and then pulls into a driveway, essentially blocking your path, you figure it's one of the old-timers who used to yak at you all the time when you were the local political reporter, so you step up to the window thinking, sometimes you've just got to give a little bit back.

But then you realize you don't know this old-timer.

"Thought you were someone else," he says from the cab, "but you're pretty good looking too. Want a ride?" You back away, not feeling threatened by the old-timer, but not feeling exactly comfortable either. This is strange behavior and who the hell knows who's toting a gun these days with the way they dole them out like dumdum suckers at the grocery checkout?

"Naw," you say backing away. "That's all right, buddy. You have a good day." You immediately pull out your cell phone. The old-timer sees this and throws the pick-up in gear and high-tails it down the road. You dial the cops because this really is weird behavior and the next person this guy encounters might be a thirteen-year-old girl.

The cops come around and you tell them what happened and they sort of look at each other and say they might know who it is and here's a picture and does it look like the guy in the pickup?

Yeah, you say, it does.

They don't think the guy is any trouble and so they finish up their business and tell you they'll let you know how it pans out and go on their way. You finish your walk.

Sure enough, your phone rings later that day and it's one of the cops. Yeah, it's the guy we thought and he's got a history with alcohol that's gotten a lot worse since the wife died some months back and he's the old guy that lives in that one house on the corner of so and so and we found him at the Sip 'N Post Bar and he said he was awful sorry for bothering you and that he only did it on accounts that you looked like his one neighbor.

You say you sure didn't mean to hassle a lonely old guy or be a pain for the cops or anything but that when guys are driving around trying to get women into their cars, it's best to alert the cops and thanks for the call back. The cop says no problem and that making that call is the right thing to do because you never know and, yeah, they told the old timer that he can't drive pull up next to people on the street like that and don't apologize because that's what the cops are there for.

You say thanks again and hang up and look at your husband across the dining room table and at your kid and you feel the timeline beneath your feet that's the same timeline beneath your daughter's feet and the cop's feet and the President of the United States' feet and the old timer's feet.

You sigh, swallow hard and reach for the mashed potatoes, but you know that somewhere a switch has toggled and it is not good or bad, it just is and there is nothing you can do about it other than let a teaspoon of sorrow float around your heart for a while.

Dear Regular American United States of America Human Voter Person Being,

Please execute extreme caution when voting for the guy you'd like to have a beer with.

The last one stuck you with the tab.



Eternally yours,

Erin O'Brien

Howdy, boys

My essay "The Conception of Slavery" garnered several letters to the editor, four of which were published in today's Scene.* Interestingly enough, they were all penned by men.

Thanks to everyone who writes my editor, past and present. I appreciate all readers, all points of view and all comments all the time, whether they are in print or online.

*Regarding that link, read carefully as the online formatting is a bit glitchy today.

Erin's breakfast buffet

The AIG buyout is another brush stroke that ironically paints the Bush administration as one of the most socialist in history.

Michelle Obama will be one fine first lady.

McPalin is acting like someone who has something to hide.

John McCain's house of cards is falling apart.

When you boil down the economic crisis, you have people who bought things they could not afford (mainly houses) from greedy creditors, all of which was allowed and encouraged by the Republican deregulation.

What's the difference between Sarah Palin and George Bush? Lipstick.

Me right now with no lipstick or any other make up:


This is a good polling site. Don't worry, we'll turn it back around.

The remnants of Ike blew through Ohio and gave me renewed sympathy for those who live in Hurricane Alley. My mom's still without power. She's on pump-pressured well water, so no power means no water for Mom. "I can't flush my toilet, but at least I still have one," she said yesterday over coffee at my place, "Unlike the poor people in Galveston." I made her a fried egg sandwich.

I make a pretty good fried egg sandwich.

Obama's profound internal drive got him past the Clintons in a tough but fair fight. That same drive is what will get him past John McCain.

I am writing a new book. You can't write a book unless you have a profound drive. Erin know a thing or two about drive.

Vietnam POW Philip Butler attended the Naval Academy with McCain and said recently on KCRW's To The Point that he believes, "John was able to graduate because of his heritage--his father and grandfather." McCain graduated fifth from the bottom in his class. Of McCain's campaign, Butler says, "The Media has exploited John's POW experience as a way of bringing him up as a hero to the American public so that he could be elected for president and I do take umbrage and issue with that."

Meet Butler for yourself (not part of the To The Point interview):



Couric bagged interview #2 with Palin.

Off to have a conjugal visit with the Goat.

On McCain's healthcare plan

From Bob Herbert for the New York Times:

A study coming out Tuesday from scholars at Columbia, Harvard, Purdue and Michigan projects that 20 million Americans who have employment-based health insurance would lose it under the McCain plan.

My call out to writers.

Recession post vol. seven: I am mad as hell

Since we all woke up to the joyous news that Lehman Brothers and Merrill Lynch are going down the tubes courtesy of McCain-Bush-Trickle-Down-Rebuplicanomics, I thought I'd do another recession post today.


This is my toilet. My toilet says a lot about the sort of person I am. The two bottles in my toilet are not full of scotch or cheap wine or hidden cash like some candy-ass suburban Easy Rider nest egg. They're filled with sand and water. They limit the amount of water per flush, which translates to a few dollars in savings when I get my quarterly water and sewer bills. I did not put the bottles in the toilet tank in order to take this picture. I put them in there about a month after we moved into this house 16 years ago.

I live in the absolute middle of America with all the rest of the people who pay for everything. You are welcome Fannie and Freddie.

There are three toilets in my house. They all have bottles exactly like the ones in the picture. Putting bottles in my toilet tanks and buying Suave instead of Pantene and knowing how to stretch a pound of sausage into three meals is how all of us in the middle of America are paying for Fannie and Freddie. I have no idea how the Lehman thing will find it's way into my pocket book, but I'm pretty sure it will.

I am so goddamn mad, I could kick George Bush square in the balls.

John McCain was a big supporter of all the deregulation that put this country's economy in the toilet. He calls his standard-issue Republican behavior being a "maverick."

I am 43 years old and I have never incurred one cent in credit card interest. Neither has my husband and he's 51. We will pay off our 30-year mortgage in about 19 years, maybe sooner. I drove my last car for 12 years. The Mini Cooper's going on six and I'm not gearing up to sell it anytime soon. My husband's car is seven years old.

I am not bragging or asking for praise. Most of this is very familiar to you, the average American. You understand my sort of living. It looks a lot like your sort of living and includes paying taxes on time. That our sort of living has funded the goddamn Republican debacles, including the filthy McCain/Bush war, infuriates me beyond words.

I doubt Cindy McCain clips coupons.


Look at what they're doing to the toilet paper. They're shrinking it in width. Guess it's time to find another way to tighten the goddamn belt around here.

And anyone taking a good look around my bathroom and wondering how I tolerate the horrible goddamn tile and peeling wallpaper, I tolerate it because I have to. And when we get enough money to redecorate it, we will. Until then I just have to suck it up. I don't take out loans just so I can shower in beautiful surroundings.

John McCain's trickle-down economic tenets are exactly those of George Bush and the Republican party. Obama's economics turn the funnel the other way around. This is one of the fundamental differences between the donkey and the elephant.

The State of Alaska is expecting a $5- to $9-billion dollar surplus next year. They always have surpluses on account of their oil. Alaska does not have state income tax. None of this is to Palin's credit. She walked into all of it. So no, I don't have any faith in that woman's ability to figure out my $9.6 trillion debt.

This is the end of the line. There is no more room for poor Republican judgment and excess.

This is the end of the goddamn line.

Obama 2008

Another look at the other team.

Another voice on McCain's military service

The following quotes are from the Sept. 12, 2008 edition of KCRW's To The Point. Listen to the entire program, including a host of pro-McCain guests, by clicking here.

These quotes are from Dr. Philip Butler, who was introduced as a highly decorated Vietnam Veteran who was a POW for eight years, the last five of which he spent with John McCain. He also spent about a year with McCain at the Naval Academy.

Butler responded to a question about offers of early release that were given to Vietnam POWs: "I was offered early release way back in May of 1965 as were a number of other POWs that I knew of in that time period and later on. Being released early was an absolute no-no for a POW for lots of reasons, reasons of Geneva Conventions, reasons of military regulations and policy, and reasons of all of our senior officers stating that all of us would return with honor at the end of the war and nobody would accept early release."

Butler said that the Vietnamese only granted a release if the prisoner agreed to admit that he was a criminal, that his country was criminal, that he had bombed schoolyards and hospitals and that he had received humane treatment as a prisoner. "It was a no-brainer," said Butler. "You had no choice."

Butler also offered this general observation, "John didn't learn the lessons of Vietnam from his experience as a POW. ... It was clear that we got into that war through lies and subterfuge. The Tonkin Gulf incident engineered by President Lyndon Johnson got us into war when there was really no incident at all. There was nothing happening there, but it was used as a ruse to get us into the Vietnam War.

"John McCain becomes a senator and he goes right back again and supports the same lies and subterfuge of president Bush with weapons of mass destruction and so forth and now here we are again in Iraq."

Butler, who is an activist with Veterans for Peace, discussed many other topics, including his personal respect for McCain and McCain's legacy status in the Navy. Many of his remarks were lambasted by other guests, including McCain biographer Robert Timberg and McCain spokesperson Nancy Photenhauer. Once again, you can listen to the entire program by clicking here.

Fighting the good fight with a Republican tongue

"Mom?" says my kid, "what's for dinner?"

"Honey," I say with a big huffing sigh, "it's only 9:30 in the morning."

"So what's for dinner?"

"Tongue," I say, although she knows this is just one of my stop-asking-me-about-dinner ploys.

"What kind of tongue?" she says. She's smart.

"Beef tongue," I say.

"Do people really eat beef tongue?" she asks.

"Sure."

"Who eats tongue?"

"The Republicans," I say. "The Republicans are your big tongue eaters. In fact, they're probably eating tongue right now."

"But I thought we were Democrats," she says.

"That's right," I say. "We're Democrats."

"So does that mean we're not really having tongue for dinner?" she asks.

"Yes." I say. "Being a democrat means do not have to eat tongue for dinner."

"Mom?"

"Yeah?" I say.

"What's for dinner?"

Good or bad sign?

"Basically,

I want to have sex with (Sarah Palin) on my Barack Obama sheets while my wife reads aloud from the Constitution."

from Michael Seitzman for Huffington Post

Nice job ladies

Next time invite me to the party.

I love it when they hate me

"Anonymous" left the following comment on "Erin O'Brien Naked" at about 10:30 p.m. EST last night.

"You're ugly as fuck. Please don't do that ever again...OK?"

I thought it was just one of the Internet kooks I get from time to time, so I deleted it. But "Anonymous" has returned this morning and, since he/she is obviously emphatic about getting his/her point across, I have left the comment up. If you scroll all the way down the page, you'll see he/she added, "You're still ugly as hell! Please go away Miss Earth Mother Hippie Chick..." at about 8:45 a.m. this morning.

I'm pretty sure the hit came out of the Cleveland Clinic, which is ironically one of the few corporations that does not mask their outgoing ISP address. And I wonder if this person is related to "marv" who used very similar language to describe me on this forum.

Welcome marv and Anonymous.

Why I am not the Dem's VP pick

Fortunately for me, I have smart readers, one of which pointed out the fact that I mispelled "Barack" every single time in yesterday's post, which I have since corrected. And no, I have absolutely no excuse.

At least I understand the Bush Doktrin.

I believe in Barack Obama

Seven years ago on this day, a thick cloud of dust shrouded one of our greatest cities. Amid the tragedy, something else emerged: sympathetic hands from points around the globe. But as the Bush/McCain team employed it's intricate web of lies and mismanagement to lead us to an unprecedented "preemptive" war, those sympathetic hands withdrew. Then backs were turned. Today, America is hated more than ever.

I am afraid of the people that hate us. I am afraid of them because they would kill my daughter without a moment's hesitation. In the eyes of the people that hate us as well as many others, John McCain is George Bush.

No one believes Barack Obama is George Bush.

When we elect Barack Obama, there will still be a great deal of hate and some portion of it will remain no matter what. But I believe Obama will lessen that hate and breathe life into a more globally-minded America. He will surround himself with smart competent people, selected for the good of the country. I trust Obama's judgment.

I do not trust John McCain's judgment. The Bush/McCain team has shrunk the dollar, sold my daughter's America to China, and deregulated the banking industry straight to Hell. McCain's tactics prove that he will embrace the same sort of lying, manipulation and conniving that have kept his party in power for eight years during which they have swindled the American people of their rights as well their money with the sole purpose of keeping the wealthy elite in control.

As President, Obama has a massive job before him. The one thing I can give him right now in order to succeed is my belief.

I believe in Barack Obama.

* * *

The Conception of Slavery

* * *
Please send any comments for publication to Cleveland Scene Editor Frank Lewis at flewisATclevesceneDOTcom.

How would you Palinize your name?

I am Akron Canton O'Brien.

"Having been blessed with your lovely son Trig is not enough Governor Palin.

Live the life. Be the parent. Be the advocate for your child. Then, come talk to me and let's see what may be done. I'd be happy to advise you on the issues that face you on your return to Alaska as Governor to help the families of children with Special Needs there. I don't trust you with the deep and critical role you propose for yourself: an advocate for my son."

--from Samuel's Heart

The little known connection between Rudy, Mussolini and puppies

So I'm doddering around the bedroom this morning, making the bed and picking up clothes. I turn on the television and scroll through the channels en route to CNN. One click from my destination, I hesitate on the CriCut infomercial to see how to use this fun, fast and easy creativity machine!

A woman is interacting with something that looks like my printer in a manner that does not appear fun, fast or easy. She's making a card that says "I miss you!" and has two puppies on it.

I advance the channel to CNN. Rudolph Guiliani (who, based on the ethnicity of his last name, is clearly linked to Benito Mussolini as well as Adolph Hitler since both of their first names end in -dolph) is beneath the dazzling lights of the Republican National Convention, pumping his fists in the air as he repeats "Drill, baby, drill" along with the crowd. I watch for a moment, wondering how his teeth are adhered to his head.

Since there is absolutely nothing to be gained from this footage or any news story associated with it, I opt to return to the affable woman in the cardigan. Fluffing a pillow, I bear witness to the revolutionary breakthrough in paper shaping that puts scrapbooking without limits at my fingertips.

* * *

During her research for this post, your humble authoress stumbled upon McCain's second and third runners-up for the Republican Vice Presidential candidate:

Futureworld

What McCain/Palin's pro-life world really looks like.

It just gets better and better

McCain campaign manager Rick Davis from the Huffington Post:

"Why would we want to throw Sarah Palin into a cycle of piranhas called the news media that have nothing better to ask questions about than her personal life and her children?" Davis said. "So until at which point in time we feel like the news media is going to treat her with some level of respect and deference, I think it would be foolhardy to put her out into that kind of environment."

There. Doesn't everyone feel better now?

Filthy dirty Sarah

Nathan Thornburgh, writing for Time, exposes how Palin used every old-boy trick in the book to climb the political ladder.

Why Palin's 82 percent popularity ain't all it's cracked up to be

Alaska has an estimated population of 680,000, which is about half that of Cuyahoga County where I live. Cleveland proper has a population of about 478,403. Add the populations of a handful of inner ring municipalities such as Lakewood, Bedford, East Cleveland and Euclid and you've as many people living in about 100 square miles in what's known as the greater Cleveland area as you've got in all 656,424 square miles of Alaska.

So remember that from now on: Palin is popular in a place as big as greater Cleveland as far as head count is concerned.

Alaska is also filthy stinking rich on account of their oil. Their 2007 budget surplus was $1.2 billion and is estimated to go up to $5 billion in the next couple of years while oil prices soar and poor bastards like you and me pay out the ass to fill our tanks and drive to the shitty discount grocer and buy a lousy can of beans for 79 cents (if you're lucky).

Every Alaskan gets a rebate check from state oil revenue, which this year, Palin upped from $2,100 to $3,300.

Believe me people, if I handed out three grand to everyone in Cleveland, I'd get 80 percent of them to say they damn well approved of me too, maybe even 90 percent on account of my general fabulosity.

The deeper I get into the smoky cloud around Palin, the worse it stinks. I'm telling you people, this broad is all empty calories on top of a heaping helping of religious zealot.

I'm telling you. I'm telling you. I'm telling you.

Will break for bump

If you believe in daily newspapers ...

... you can believe in the Kilkenny letter.

I was the political reporter for The Broadview Journal for four years. I went to every Broadview Heights city council meeting and meticulously reported on it. If city council approved $10,000 for a new tractor, it was in my column. If Boy Scout Troup 720 was in attendance in order to earn a badge, it was in my column. If they approved a new part-time clerk for the recreation department, it was in my column. Local politicians loved me one day and hated me the next. They constantly (and unsuccessfully) tried to get me fired. The readers ate it up.

Broadview Heights is a small suburb of Cleveland, about 16,000 people. There were five other papers at the Journal's parent company Scriptype Publishing that covered five other area municipalities. I was buddies with all the editors and reporters.

I know how these small town governments operate. I've seen the fights and the backstabbing. And I can envision every one of Kilkenny's scenarios, similar ones played out before me. People, I really know this territory and I know that Kilkenny has her share of bias, but there's a healthy dose of truth in her words as well.

Tip o' the hat to a Baroque lady for this link.

Can you smell that?

As I said a couple of posts ago, I'm at work on a Palin piece.

And man is it weird. You can't find any reliable information on this broad. It's like chasing a ghost. Links lead to error/page removed messages. Vids and pages quoted in reliable sources have disappeared.

People talk about what she stands for, but good luck finding Palin speaking for herself.

Plenty of smoke and mirrors courtesy of the wingnuts and McCain, but when you start to look deeper, the whole thing stinks to high hell. Something is very, very very wrong here.

No-no-Noonan

Now read Noonan's moronic backpedal.

Slavery

I apologize for having to remove this post, but I've been asked to expand it for a print piece, which I promise to link here as soon as it publishes. Thanks to all who read and commented.



Erin O'Brien and daughter Jessica immediately after birth, February 18, 1997

Good O'Brien, Bad O'Brien

Plain Dealer columnist Kevin O'Brien wrote a piece for today's paper titled, "The Sun Comes Out for the GOP," in which the "sun" turns out to be our darling AK47-toting beauty-queen-turned-Guv'ner, Sarah Palin.

"After all," says O'Brien, "if he can pick her as a running mate, he might do OK picking Supreme Court justices."

There are plenty of other tidbits in the article. I'll let you find them on your own.

I emailed O'Brien, sharing the quote I posted yesterday in which Palin calls our current military action a task from God.

Here is his response:

OK, let's see: a candidate who prays to God and wants to do His will vs. a candidate who thinks he is God and that everyone the world over is just panting to do his will.

You're not exactly making the decision more difficult here.

Is it my imagination, or am I closer to God just posting this?

Hey Sarah?

"The question for Palin is just how much prison time a woman should serve if she chooses to abort her rapist's baby," said Connie Schultz in today's Plain Dealer.

Iraq is God's plan!

"Pray for our military men and women who are striving to do what is right. Also, for this country, that our leaders, our national leaders, are sending [U.S. soldiers] out on a task that is from God," said Sarah Palin to her congregants on June 8, 2008. "That's what we have to make sure that we're praying for, that there is a plan and that that plan is God's plan."

Hmmm. To hell with the separation of church and state.

Monday morning prediction

Within ten days, I predict you'll be hearing something very similar to this out of Palin's camp:

I've decided to leave the campaign trail in order to be with my family at this difficult time. My special needs son Trig and my daughter Bristol both have a rocky road ahead and I intend to be next to them every step of the way.

And everyone will be all nicey-dicey about how they understand and how proud they are and how wonderful it was and they were honored and blah, blah blah. Here are the real reasons.

Obama 2008.

Right-to-lifers are nothing without choice

First off, to Bristol Palin: hang tough kid and you'll do just fine. Don't take any shit. I'm rooting for you, I really am. So are a bunch of other blue blue liberals just like me. Believe it or not, it's the truth. Godspeed.

But to the right-to-lifers surrounding her, I say this: what is the operative word in your supportive statements? How will you hold anyone holy when taking the hard road is no longer elective? Case in point from CNN:

"Sarah and her husband, Todd Palin, issued a statement saying they are 'proud of Bristol's decision to have her baby and even prouder to become grandparents.'"

"Tony Perkins, president of the influential conservative Family Research Council, on Monday issued a statement supporting the Palin family. 'Fortunately, Bristol is following her mother and father's example of choosing life in the midst of a difficult situation.'"