Even I feel sorry for Kelly

There are some 70 hours of digitally recorded interviews in my iTunes library. They date back to May 2011, before which I did things analog. Over the years, I've talked to more people than I can count, conducted a bevy of Q&A's and have been interviewed myself at least a dozen times.

Hence, when I say Megyn Kelly (whom I dislike for any number of reasons) would rather be enduring a Tabasco Sauce enema than conducting this interview, I know what I'm talking about. Frankly, I was unable to take my eyes from her throughout this five minutes of torture.

I was worried Kelly might throw up at about the 2:47 mark, when she realizes that her interviewee is utterly hopeless. She's probably rethinking her tenure at Fox right about then. After all, no amount of compensation is worth this level of professional humiliation.



If you missed Ms. Palin's more nuanced points, Vanity Fair has generously rounded up her "Top-Five Most Utterly Nonsensical Sentences" for your perusal. If you can figure out what she's trying to communicate, you're a better man than me. That said, if anyone among the readership speaks Palin, I invite him/her to offer up a translation in today's comment section.

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Debatable

Earlier this week, my fave news show moderator Warren Olney interviewed long-time political consultant Samuel Popkin for the "Reporter's Notebook" segment of his Oct. 2 edition of To the Point.

Why Popkin?

In 1980, as President Jimmy Carter prepared for his debates with GOP challenger Ronald Reagan, Popkin "played" the part of Reagan during the practice sessions. In his To The Point segment, Popkin offers up commentary on Carter and the obscure and mysterious phenomenon of presidential practice debates. It's a great interview that I cannot recommend highly enough. It's only about 10 minutes long and starts at the 40:40 point in the podcast.

I had listened to the Popkin interview before the Wednesday night debate and his insights were spot on. Obama's unease was precisely the sort that Popkin described incumbent presidents falling into for a variety of reasons. The segment was also loaded with great details. This one was my favorite: former Michigan Governor and Dem sweetheart Jennifer Granholm "played" Sarah Palin for Joe Biden while he prepared for the 2008 vice-presidential debate.

You cannot fully appreciate that delicious little tidbit until you dig a sample of Granholm for yourself:



Who is your mama?

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Swindler

Sometimes you turn on the box and start surfing channels and you come upon a televangelist asking for money. Sometimes he starts talking about souls and how much money he needs to save the next 10 or 100 or however many souls that are up in heaven waiting to pass through the pearly gates.

That's when you start thinking about a little old lady on a fixed income whose watching the same idiot, but she's not thinking he's an idiot. She's 87 years old and she's worried one of the souls waiting by the pearly gates might be hers any day now so she goes and writes the idiot a check.

That torques the hell out of me.

Sarah Palin manipulated her followers in the exact same way. Her donation solicitations hinted that maybe a few more bucks will convince the Savior to run for POTUS; that your donation just might push Sarah over the tipping point!

Uh-huh.

I wonder if any of Palin's contributors are torqued? Particularly since Bristol Palin said her mother had made her decision back in June, but then she solicited donations and played the will she/won't she game for another three and a half months. I wonder how many of Palin's supporters will run to the checkbook for the 2016 or 2020 race when she starts slowly swiveling her hips.

For the faithful, why wait? It's still not too late to make your donation to SarahPAC!

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Quick political link round up

The government is already shrinking ... sort of.

Twenty seven cents of every federal tax dollar goes to fund the military.

Sarah Palin's move to follow the money and bright lights isn't paying off politically.

Think we don't have a robust single payer health care system in the United States? More than one quarter of Americans have government sponsored health care.

Guess that's enough for now. Anyway, I have important marital aid research to conduct.

Love,

Erin

* * *

I don't think you understood me. I want to get some drivers.

The contrast of this four minutes of footage against what follows in the 1972 film Deliverance mesmerizes me. Wardrobe, set, dialog, casting and staging--it all works here.

Dig the hats, and the way the one local starts dancing. Dig the shape of the banjo kid's face. His behavior at the end of the segment embodies understated foreshadowing.

And would you look at Burt Reynolds for chrissake? God help me, would you look at Burt Reynolds?

(Everyone take a moment, please, and pay some respect to Dinah Shore, who had 20 years on Reynolds and was bedding him right around the time this film was made. Someone's in the kitchen with Dinah, indeed.)

I shall not end this post without a reference to the outspoken conservative Jon Voight (who admittedly was pretty hot back then). Voight not only sired Angelina Jolie, he starred with Jane Fonda in the 1978 film Coming Home. It includes a steamy scene in which Voight's character orally services Fonda's character thereby delivering her inaugural climax.

Poetry, people. Pure poetry.

* * *

Sarah Palin's coming south to hunt some skunk

The spoken word portion is particularly moving.

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April Fools

I dedicate this post to the Republican National Committee, Sarah Palin, John Boehner, Dick Cheney, and all the rest of the righties.

Fools?

We've got the bottom-feeding thug contingent screaming epithets and throwing bricks; and on the top of the pile, we've got the likes of David Frum getting his nose quickly, harshly and publicly clipped for daring to speak out against his party's collective tactics.

How's that obstructiony thing workin out for ya?

* * *

Now for those readers who are thirsting for even more snarky politics:

I wrote this "Conservative Eulogy" in May 2009. No, the righties ain't sunk yet, but they haven't improved their lot much either in the past year.

No where--NO WHERE--will you find more glaring evidence of rightie bitterness than on the March 26th KCRW "Left, Right & Center" podcast. Tony Blankley has never been so red-faced and spittle-flecked.

I'll give the righties one point: I've never been more entertained.

* * *

A message from Princess Erin of Shitkanistan

I am moved to found a new country. I shall name it Shitkanistan.

In my new country of Shitkanistan, everyone will drink sauerkraut juice and wear comfortable shoes. Gooseliver and onion sandwiches will be popular. Women will wear men's socks and large competent brassieres.

Shitkanistanians shall be tolerant people. If the hockey people want to come over and throw octopuses around, they shall be welcome to do so. If Sarah Palin travels to our shores, the National Choir of Shitkanistan shall sing a stirring rendition of the Shitkanistan National Anthem upon her arrival. Then we shall offer her heaping platters of jellied pigs' feet and pickled eggs.

I shall name the capitol Rublinka. I shall live in the shining city of Rublinka, in a great palace with one hundred onion-shaped roofs, each swirled in shimmering stripes of gold and scarlet and azure blue.

Shitkanistanians shall enjoy certain entitlements, wondrous parks through which our swaddled tots may run and play, public steam rooms and mud baths, and free hair removal kits and breath lozenges.

Your Loyal Royal Hostess,

Princess Erin of Shitkanistan

* * *

Palinesque?

Lance Armstrong's co-writer Sally Jenkins muses about Sarah Palin's forthcoming memoir in an article by Laura Fitzpatrick for Time:

The fun part is when you get to the point that they don't even notice it wasn't something they actually said," says Jenkins. "Sarah Palin, in her own odd vernacular, is incredibly sort of quotable and eloquent, in her own Palinesque way.

Palinesque?

I guess that's one way to put it.

One year ago today

My buddy Alex Pruteanu posted this on Twitter today: One year ago McCain introduced Sarah Palin to the world. Your thoughts?

I am nonplussed over Palin's latest achievement: She used a simple Facebook entry to cast the pall of "death panels" over the country and in doing so, she's made a significant contribution to the Reform bill: the possible deletion of one of the most intelligent, humane and money saving parts of it.

And why does she command such power and attention? Because she's pretty and she shoots moose.

God. Bless. America.

* * *

Hold that baby up a little higher please, Ms. Palin, so everyone can see

"The America I know and love is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down Syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama’s “death panel” so his bureaucrats can decide, based on a subjective judgment of their “level of productivity in society,” whether they are worthy of health care. Such a system is downright evil."--Sarah Palin

Before the flame out

In lieu of original content by Yours Truly today, here's an exhaustive article on Alaska's NonGovernor Sarah Palin by Todd Purdum for Vanity Fair. It's a fascinating read all about poor little Sarah's problems notable for many reasons, but in no small part because it was published just before her spectacular flame out.

The great Republican Governor. Yeah, yeah. She couldn't even tough out one term. Christ awmighty, people, I told you she was a silly little broad from the get go.

Now there's a big surprise

Bristol and Levi: I don't.

Coming soon to a theater near you

GOP: THE DESTROYERS

SPEED! NEED! GREED!

STARRING: Rushie-poo LIMBAUGH, Category 5 PALIN, Baby Blue BOEHNER, Jingle Balls JINDAL, Stainless STEELE and Coldcocker COULTER!

* * *

BURN before the roiling wrath of Rushie-poo Limbaugh when he can't find his earpiece!

SIZZLE as a helplessly bound Category 5 Palin begs for abstinence-only from a merciless Jingle Balls Jindal!

GASP as a leather-clad Baby Blue Boehner fights his way through 18 thrilling holes opposite a snarling Stainless Steele!

COWER before a ravenous Coldcocker Coulter as she eats kittens!

FLY with the freedom of this no-holds-barred gang as they speed over the crumbling highways of America in fully-loaded Cadillac DTS's!

* * *

I'm working on the script. Anybody have any ideas?

A woman, a man, two turkeys and a coffee cup

Courtesy of the beige one.

Palin Reagan Erin Park?

I grew up in Lakewood, Ohio at 14000 Lake Avenue, right next to the expansive Lakewood Park. You can see the house nestled in the trees at the corner of Parkside and Lake in this pic. The structure in the upper left with the rows of benches is the Lakewood Park Bandstand.

This is the window of the house that faces the park. That was my brother's bedroom.

In 1976, Ronald Reagan ran for the Republican presidential nomination. He delivered a speech from the bandstand. My dad walked over, sat in the front row and was promptly detained by security because they thought he looked suspicious.

"But I live right over there!" said Dad.

"Sure you do, buddy."

The held him until Reagan had indeed left the building. Reagan eventually lost, conceding to Gerry Ford, who eventually lost to the Democratic nominee Jimmy Carter.

The bandstand is also the locale for Palin's campaign speech this morning. Strange to think I lost my virginity just a healthy football-pass away from where Palin may be losing the election.

Was it good for you, baby?

* * *

Front view of 14000 Lake Avenue

And another pic, circa 1978 with me and brother John.

Rejecting Sara Palin

It's not so much that I'm looking forward to the end of Palin shrieking about Democrats who "pal around with terrorists." I am. Very much so. Or her ham-fisted declarations about which parts of America are more patriotic. It's not so much that I'm looking forward to the end of the red scare hysteria she's whipping up when she tells her Audience the Stupid that somehow a vote for the Democratic ticket is a vote for communism. More than Palin herself, I'm looking forward to the end of an era in which the aforementioned gomers -- these relatively small pockets of bigots and witch hunters -- have enjoyed undeserved attention and disproportionate sway over American politics and policy. --Bob Cesca for HuffPo

The Palin effect

The Palin Effect is a proposed explanation for observed discrepancies between voter opinion polls and election outcomes in some American political campaigns when a reasonable candidate and a Barbie Doll candidate run against each other. Named for Sarah Palin, a pretty-faced conservative right wing nut who followers loved to adore, but secretly knew was only useful for applying cosmetics to an oink oink in a Valentino jacket, the Palin effect refers to an alleged tendency on the part of some voters to tell pollsters that they are undecided or likely to vote for the Barbie Doll candidate, and yet, on election day, vote for his/her reasonable opponent.

The preceding was a first draft attempt at a possible future Wikipedia page.

Finally, here come the cavalry

David Frum, a former Bush administration member, for yesterday's Washington Post:

“There are many ways to lose a presidential election. John McCain is losing in a way that threatens to take the entire Republican Party down with him. I could pile up the poll numbers here, but frankly . . . it’s too depressing. You have to go back to the Watergate era to see numbers quite so horrible for the GOP. McCain’s awful campaign is having awful consequences down the ballot. I spoke a little while ago to a senior Republican House member. ‘There is not a safe Republican seat in the country,’ he warned. ‘I don’t mean that we’re going to lose all of them. But we could lose any of them.’ In the Senate, things look, if possible, even worse.”--no Post link available without registration.

But don't worry, ye elephants! Your Girl Vice President has decided to break ranks and call in some reinforcements to help out! Here comes the "sassy" Elisabeth Hasselbeck to save the day with talk about clothing and sexism!

"I’m an Alaskan—born in an igloo, enjoy whale muktuk, all that—and in case you aren’t sick of our state by now, I’ll start off with an apology for one of our residents: Sarah Palin." --Seth Kantner for the Alaska Dispatch

A must read essay. The comments are wonderful as well. Thanks to Dean Cochrane for tipping me.