Who do you like in the seventh?

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You like people who say "great toe" instead of "big toe."

You know why you like Mrs. Robinson? You like Mrs. Robinson because she was the original cougar.

You know why you like Maggie Thatcher? You like Maggie Thatcher because she sent out the fleet.

You know why you like bunny dressage? You like bunny dressage because it's bunny dressage.

Do you like road trips ? Hell yes you like road trips.

You like guys with jumper cables and tow ropes. You like guys who drive "beaters."

You like Anderson Cooper but you don't want David Muir to know you like Anderson Cooper.

You like Charlie Sheen because ... oh yeah, you don't like Charlie Sheen.

You like birds that like goats.

You like chicks who practice Reiki and chicks who read palms. You like Wicca chicks.

You like William Shatner. You like Butterfinger Crisp bars. You don't know if William Shatner likes Butterfinger Crisp bars.

You like your adult content, but you don't want anyone to know you like your adult content.

You like Campbell's soup even though you don't like Campbell's soup.

You like alpacas. You like turtles.

Two ladies? You like two ladies. You like two ladies a lot.

You like clean sheet day but you don't like saying "clean sheet day" because it makes you sound like a reject from The Real Housewives of Dayton, Ohio.

You like guys who make a Bloody Mary with horseradish even though you don't like Bloody Marys.

You like signs.

Quotation device

"No matter how cute the shoes are, you won't be cute if your feet hurt when they're in them." My Gram O'Brien

"If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to." Dorothy Parker

"The past actually happened but history is only what someone wrote down." Whitney Brown


"Turtles always strike me as devastatingly serious. If turtles could talk, I'd believe everything they said." Guess who?

"Watch how he treats the waitress before you marry him." Unknown

"If you're going through hell, keep going." Winston Churchill

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Turtleneck

Turtles always strike me as devastatingly serious. If turtles could talk, I'd believe everything they said.

If, for instance, a turtle came up to me and said, "You see that guy over there? That guy is an asshole," I would mentally assign the title of asshole to the guy over there. Turtles would make good cops. No one would eff with a turtle cop.

Yesterday the Goat and I took a five and a half mile walk along one of the longest remaining sections of the Ohio Canal (Click here for more, or just to see some cool pix of the terrain). It was a glorious walk, one of my favorites. But yesterday, there was an extra surprise: the turtles.

We saw dozens of turtles. They were lined up on branches that stuck out of the water. There were little ones and big ones. They were flop/diving into the water. They were sunning. They didn't call us assholes. It was like they were really happy despite their serious expressions.

Hi turtles.

Fortunately for the turtles, the Turtleman (featured in the following YouTube) was no where in sight. If you haven't met "Kentucky's best kept secret," I heartily encourage you to view this footage. There are some things you have to see to believe.