Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Turtleneck

Turtles always strike me as devastatingly serious. If turtles could talk, I'd believe everything they said.

If, for instance, a turtle came up to me and said, "You see that guy over there? That guy is an asshole," I would mentally assign the title of asshole to the guy over there. Turtles would make good cops. No one would eff with a turtle cop.

Yesterday the Goat and I took a five and a half mile walk along one of the longest remaining sections of the Ohio Canal (Click here for more, or just to see some cool pix of the terrain). It was a glorious walk, one of my favorites. But yesterday, there was an extra surprise: the turtles.

We saw dozens of turtles. They were lined up on branches that stuck out of the water. There were little ones and big ones. They were flop/diving into the water. They were sunning. They didn't call us assholes. It was like they were really happy despite their serious expressions.

Hi turtles.

Fortunately for the turtles, the Turtleman (featured in the following YouTube) was no where in sight. If you haven't met "Kentucky's best kept secret," I heartily encourage you to view this footage. There are some things you have to see to believe.

14 comments:

deangc said...

Most turtles look like they just lost their best hound dog in the pickup truck accident that also claimed their favourite guns.

The Fool said...

Happy Fool's Day, Erin. ;)

Zen Wizard said...

I can't get YouTube here so I will never know "Kentucky's Best Secret." I hope it wasn't a really great secret like a sustainable biofuel or a secret formula that reverses the aging process. Somehow I think it is a woman with good grammar who has all her teeth. I guess I could go log in at Kinko's and dodge the wrath of my IT guys...or I could just live the rest of my life in ignorance....the latter has worked for me 52 glorious years so I'm stickin' with that I guess...

Erin O'Brien said...

Zen.

You need to go somewhere where you can get YouTube and view this vid.

Anonymous said...

You must be cautious O'Brien. Ohio, like Tennessee, shares a border with Kentucky. These are not trifling matters.

RJ

The Science Pundit said...

ZOMFG!!!!

I always thought that a big-foreheaded kid playing dueling banjoes was about the scariest thing you might encounter in Appalachia, but now I think that Mr. Turtleman there might take the prize. That was simply mesmerizing!

Alan states said...

Only in America, Southern America

Zen Wizard said...

D'oh!!! This better be good--I will hit Kinko's on my way home.

Mr. L said...

Yow.

In the town where I grew up, when the annual 'turtle hatch' occurred, there would be hundreds of flat turtles all over the roads...

philbilly said...

I'd hang with this dude any day over that patrician Wall Street trash.

As a young jackass I was counseled to always wear chukka boots when tubing down the creek. Sure as hell, one day a turtle snagged a boot toe, I swam to shore, and removed the boot. One of the locals then removed said turtle's "haid" and then showed me how you get the jaws to release by "pokin'it reich'ere" with a pocket knife. Then his aunt took the majority of Mr. Turtle to her kitchen, where he was slowly transformed into an amazing, slightly gamey, soup.

Hey, Al Quaeda, next time you want to eff with America, have the balls to look up these folks, you'll be dancin' with the virgins.

VideoDude said...

I am speechless. The "Turtle Man" for Secretary Of State!

Kirk Jusko said...

Nothing like a nice, cool dip in the algae on a hot summer day.

Geoff Schutt said...

Eleanor says, "I know turtles can talk."

Who's to argue with Eleanor?

(S)wine said...

If you've ever seen Finding Nemo (and probably you haven't since your daughter is waaay past that age), the turtles in it are a lot like Spicolli from Fast Times. THAT'S how I wanna think of them instead of the grave look they usually sport.