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You know why you like Mrs. Robinson? You like Mrs. Robinson because she was the original cougar.
You know why you like Maggie Thatcher? You like Maggie Thatcher because she sent out the fleet.
You know why you like bunny dressage? You like bunny dressage because it's bunny dressage.
You like guys with jumper cables and tow ropes. You like guys who drive "beaters."
You like Anderson Cooper but you don't want David Muir to know you like Anderson Cooper.
You like Charlie Sheen because ... oh yeah, you don't like Charlie Sheen.
You like chicks who practice Reiki and chicks who read palms. You like Wicca chicks.
You like William Shatner. You like Butterfinger Crisp bars. You don't know if William Shatner likes Butterfinger Crisp bars.
You like your adult content, but you don't want anyone to know you like your adult content.
You like alpacas. You like turtles.
Two ladies? You like two ladies. You like two ladies a lot.
You like clean sheet day but you don't like saying "clean sheet day" because it makes you sound like a reject from The Real Housewives of Dayton, Ohio.
You like guys who make a Bloody Mary with horseradish even though you don't like Bloody Marys.
You like signs.