Showing posts with label crossdressers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label crossdressers. Show all posts

Friday, January 29, 2010

Playing with the Queen of Hearts


Watching the maximum glam queens on RuPaul's Drag Race (god help me, I'm addicted to it) got me thinking about this feature* and one night of research I did for it:

That a town such as Warren, Ohio, which lives in the ruts the steel industry left behind as it receded, is home to the Queen of Hearts Bar, is no small irony. Warren is neither rural nor urban nor suburban. It is the land of James Traficant (yes, still) and Fat Cats Tattoos (to name just one). There are boarded-up factories, dilapidated houses and acres of vacant weedy lots. There is Pete's Gun Shack (doing a brisk business) and the Tokyo Health Spa (nary a car in sight, but the neon sign promises that they are indeed open).

And if it is the third Saturday of the month, Warren is a place fit for a Queen.


###

The lot fills with cars. They venture from all points across Ohio, Pennsylvania, Indiana, and Illinois. The chariots hark from Michigan, West Virginia, Missouri, and New York. There is a baby-blue BMW Z3 Roadster next to an experienced Dodge Caravan, which is next to a gleaming Lexus sedan, which is next to a rusty Ford pick-up.

Inside, the bar is cavernous, with cinderblock walls, 20-foot ceilings and glittering disco balls. Forgiving red lights illuminate the bar, which is teeming. Cigarette smoke hangs. A bucket of beer (five longnecks on ice) can be had for $7 until 9 p.m., at which time the price goes to $10.

Sitting in that bar on "Queen" night was a singular experience. It was all about men in drag. The bartenders were gay men. And there I was. The queens stared at me like they wanted to take a bite right out of me. I couldn't tell if they wanted to deck me or bed me, stroke my long hair or grab of fistful and pull it out. There were plenty of uber-regular looking men in jeans and tees drooling over the queens. They would look at me and do a double take that would quickly turn wary, as if to say who is this broad, some sort of spy sent by my wife? I was intimidated and transfixed by all of it.

Many of the young glamazons were sexy and absolutely convincing, but the queens that fascinated me most were the older girls. I loved the sixty and seventysomethings. One was standing there in a pastel green dress with a Peter Pan collar that could have come straight from Aunt Gerdie's closet. She wore sensible heels, a strand of pearls, and had a straw handbag dangling from her wrist. She had a cigar in one hand and a scotch on the rocks in the other, but there was no Milton Berle ha-ha about her.

People were talking in tight groups. The music was cocktail-party soft, and despite the sizable crowd, it was oddly quiet until about 11 p.m.

That's when the opening glissando of ABBA's Dancing Queen blasted from the speakers. It was like a battle cry. All the queens exploded from their seats and poured onto the dance floor in a flurry of motion. Many were awkward in their heels. Their muscular legs were obvious in tight mini skirts. Some wore short baby-doll style party frocks full up with lacy crinolines. They danced with each other. They danced in groups. They danced alone. Their energy and abandon was something to behold. I marveled at their joie de vivre, even if it was contained to an unlikely barroom at the end of a mostly vacant strip mall in torn and frayed Warren, Ohio.

Although I got one good interview under my belt, as a GG (genetic girl) by herself, I simply did not fit in. This was an all-male vibe with no room for a straight chick. I don't often feel uncomfortable in a bar, but I did that night. Things were just warming up, but I left around 11:30. Although one of the queens made a vaguely threatening statement to me that I don't exactly recall (something about how, as a man, she would tower over me), I was probably being overly cautious when I got up to leave. In a rare move, I flipped open my cell as I walked out and called Eric. I spoke to him until I was safely locked in the car with the engine running.

* * *

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Coming soon to a theater near you

GOP: THE DESTROYERS



SPEED! NEED! GREED!

STARRING: Rushie-poo LIMBAUGH, Category 5 PALIN, Baby Blue BOEHNER, Jingle Balls JINDAL, Stainless STEELE and Coldcocker COULTER!

* * *

BURN before the roiling wrath of Rushie-poo Limbaugh when he can't find his earpiece!

SIZZLE as a helplessly bound Category 5 Palin begs for abstinence-only from a merciless Jingle Balls Jindal!

GASP as a leather-clad Baby Blue Boehner fights his way through 18 thrilling holes opposite a snarling Stainless Steele!

COWER before a ravenous Coldcocker Coulter as she eats kittens!

FLY with the freedom of this no-holds-barred gang as they speed over the crumbling highways of America in fully-loaded Cadillac DTS's!

* * *

I'm working on the script. Anybody have any ideas?

Monday, February 16, 2009

You were always on my mind

I was cruising some blood-red conservative blogs earlier today because I like to keep my finger on the pulse of the other side. As usual, I found we lefties have nothing to worry about.

For some reason, my surfing, reminded me of an article I wrote in August 2006 about the crossdressing community in Northeast Ohio. It is one of my most widely read and linked pieces. Although the transgender community is as diverse as its members, for the article I focused on heterosexual men who present as females with varying regularity.

There were plenty of young glam crossdressers and fetishists, but the ones that compelled me most were the middle-aged men who were quiet in their compulsion. During group picnics and get-togethers, I'd find myself talking to a regular joe, except he'd be in a polyester pant suit and espadrilles, clutching a straw purse. They always wore lipstick. As often as not, they were politically conservative and regular church goers. Some of the events were even held in church basements.

Some of the crossdressers were married, others divorced. All of them had stories about how friends and family eschewed them on account of their desire to wear feminine clothing, unless they were still in the closet. When I really garnered their trust, they would slip from their contrived female voice to their regular masculine voice.

"So now I don't see my grandchildren anymore," Geraldine would tell me in Jerry's deep voice as she worried the tendrils of an ill-fitting blond wig.

Anyhow, I thought you'd all like to know that my favorite conservatives are the ones in wrap-around dresses and size 13 slingbacks. I wonder how many of the blood-thirsty red bloggers and their followers have a secret. Although his is an entirely different issue, need I invoke the name of good Senator Craig?

Hm.

There's plenty more to read in the article. And here is the associated blog post. That is all.