Hal Perry sent me a picture of his teeth.
Speaking of teeth, if you listen closely enough today, you can actually hear the teeth of children everywhere decaying.
Here is a pic of me and my kid a few years ago. As you can see, even she is scared of me.
I will be shoveling out KitKats and Twizzlers and Skittles to all the little darlings tonight as I sip whiskey and gobble down a few myself. I also hand out Dad Pops to desperate looking fathers wielding flashlights.
Boo, mother effers.