Showing posts with label newt gingrich. Show all posts
Showing posts with label newt gingrich. Show all posts
Thursday, February 09, 2012
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Dear Tim Tebow,
First off, let me come clean: you could write what I know about football on one square of toilet paper.
I know the football is the oblong brown one with the two white circle/stripes and that my Gram Soos used to say that football players had "the cutest little buns" (usually accompanied by the assertion that "it's a well known fact that body-builders are not well-endowed").
I don't know about your buns or whether or not they are cute (they probably are, Gram Soos knew some stuff). I do know you're A-list football, A-list God Squad, and that you do some kneel/pray thing that your other God Squadders dig, which brings me to the point of this correspondence.
I think you can see that gassing on too loudly about your God Squadliness can get you into trouble. Because today while everyone's talking about how the Lord helped get you as far as you got, they're thinking that it wasn't quite far enough.
Just an aside question: Is Newt Gingrich a dead ringer for BamBam Rubble all grown up and then some (with a bad case of gout), or what?
Oops. Sorry about that. Hard to stay focused, what with the Righties so worried about who you're going to endorse and all. Well ... maybe they're not quite as worried today as they were, say, yesterday.
(ouch!)
My whole point is this, Timster: God Squadliness is one of those things you probably should keep sort of quiet along with your sex life, your guns, and your money. The more you crow about some things, the further you push them away.
Once you give something power, watch out. And trust me, you're the only one who can give power to the Lord or the money or the guns or the sex.
Guess that's about enough of that. Better luck next year, kid.
Love, Erin
 |
| Gram Soos knew cute buns. |
I don't know about your buns or whether or not they are cute (they probably are, Gram Soos knew some stuff). I do know you're A-list football, A-list God Squad, and that you do some kneel/pray thing that your other God Squadders dig, which brings me to the point of this correspondence.
I think you can see that gassing on too loudly about your God Squadliness can get you into trouble. Because today while everyone's talking about how the Lord helped get you as far as you got, they're thinking that it wasn't quite far enough.
Just an aside question: Is Newt Gingrich a dead ringer for BamBam Rubble all grown up and then some (with a bad case of gout), or what?
(ouch!)
My whole point is this, Timster: God Squadliness is one of those things you probably should keep sort of quiet along with your sex life, your guns, and your money. The more you crow about some things, the further you push them away.
Once you give something power, watch out. And trust me, you're the only one who can give power to the Lord or the money or the guns or the sex.
Guess that's about enough of that. Better luck next year, kid.
Love, Erin
* * *
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Mr. Newt Gingrich, meet Mr. Karma
In most cases, Mr. Karma enters the scene subtlely. In some cases you hardly notice his arrival. In your case, Mr. Gingrich, Mr. Karma is crashing in like a deranged prize fighter with a terrible case of flatulence. The best part is we're all watching.
I know I shouldn't be grinning over this, but I swear I cannot help myself.
Listen Newtster: $500,000 in a "revolving charge account" with Tiffany's ain't anybody's business. I realize that. But, baby, people who are busting their ass nailing shingles or working at Wendy's or rolling asphalt in order to pay off the $5,000 in credit card debt they incurred by putting food on the table when they were out of work for a year and a half have OPINIONS ON THIS SORT OF THING.
Oh yeah--festooning your THIRD YOUNG BEAUTIFUL wife with a half a million dollars worth of Tiffany loot ain't going to win you any chick votes, either.
Next up, "right wing social engineering" is right up there with "Kenyan anti-colonial behavior." Baby, a presidential campaign ain't a Fox News commentary. Smart people are listening now and they aren't going to swallow your moronic propaganda like the Fox Zombies.
Aside to readership: whatever you do, watch this (and yes, that is the actual text of the press release):
Lastly, back to Mr. Gingrich: peace be with you too, mo' fo'.
I know I shouldn't be grinning over this, but I swear I cannot help myself.
Listen Newtster: $500,000 in a "revolving charge account" with Tiffany's ain't anybody's business. I realize that. But, baby, people who are busting their ass nailing shingles or working at Wendy's or rolling asphalt in order to pay off the $5,000 in credit card debt they incurred by putting food on the table when they were out of work for a year and a half have OPINIONS ON THIS SORT OF THING.
Oh yeah--festooning your THIRD YOUNG BEAUTIFUL wife with a half a million dollars worth of Tiffany loot ain't going to win you any chick votes, either.
Next up, "right wing social engineering" is right up there with "Kenyan anti-colonial behavior." Baby, a presidential campaign ain't a Fox News commentary. Smart people are listening now and they aren't going to swallow your moronic propaganda like the Fox Zombies.
Aside to readership: whatever you do, watch this (and yes, that is the actual text of the press release):
Lastly, back to Mr. Gingrich: peace be with you too, mo' fo'.
* * *
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