Bird flu

I walk twenty-some-odd miles a week and suffer any number of geese. I'd like to see one of you plastic goose people put a raincoat on a Canadian goose, or better yet, a postal carrier outfit. Those sonsabitches are mean. I hiss and make faces at them whenever I pass by. They open their miserable black bills and hiss back, the bastards.

I've heard Canadian geese are a protected species. I should stop right here and research that, but frankly, I'm just too damn tired. Someone else can research this crap. In the meantime:

Note to persons protecting Canadian geese: You're wasting your time, the miserable bastards can protect themselves. Don't believe me? Try and dress one up like an Easter bunny.

Houston, we have a problem.

Sometimes in the park, there's a whole flock of your Canadian geese. Twenty? Thirty? Maybe even more. I don't hiss at your Canadian geese when they're hanging out in those numbers.  When you've got Erin vs. 25 Canadian geese, the only one who needs protection is Erin.

Got Tippy Hedren?

If I were ever walking through one of these polite suburban neighborhoods and I saw a plastic goose decked out in a fetish bondage outfit, that would really float my boat. I could really get behind a plastic goose in a fishnet body stocking. Extra points for a gay/black leather & chains theme. Bet that'd get a Canadian goose's attention.

Yesterday four wild turkeys hauled ass in front of me and crossed the street (no postal carrier outfits, no hissing). Your wild turkeys have style. Your wild turkeys have panache.

So, what does a person think when a person sees a quartet of turkeys bouncing across the road? Bet they'd be good eats. (Style and panache only get you so far.) To be honest, I often think the same thing about the miserable Canadian geese, although everyone says this is not so, that they are not good eats. I don't believe them. I say use the trusted cook-the-living-shit-out-of-it-until-the-living-shit-is-cooked-out-of-it method. Throw some wine or beer in there, few shakes of salt and an onion or two. Slop it on a plate with a side of mashed spuds. Your Goat will eat that goose.

Anyhow, what was I saying?

* * *

The best thing I ever saw in my life ever

Erin's breakfast buffet

The AIG buyout is another brush stroke that ironically paints the Bush administration as one of the most socialist in history.

Michelle Obama will be one fine first lady.

McPalin is acting like someone who has something to hide.

John McCain's house of cards is falling apart.

When you boil down the economic crisis, you have people who bought things they could not afford (mainly houses) from greedy creditors, all of which was allowed and encouraged by the Republican deregulation.

What's the difference between Sarah Palin and George Bush? Lipstick.

Me right now with no lipstick or any other make up:


This is a good polling site. Don't worry, we'll turn it back around.

The remnants of Ike blew through Ohio and gave me renewed sympathy for those who live in Hurricane Alley. My mom's still without power. She's on pump-pressured well water, so no power means no water for Mom. "I can't flush my toilet, but at least I still have one," she said yesterday over coffee at my place, "Unlike the poor people in Galveston." I made her a fried egg sandwich.

I make a pretty good fried egg sandwich.

Obama's profound internal drive got him past the Clintons in a tough but fair fight. That same drive is what will get him past John McCain.

I am writing a new book. You can't write a book unless you have a profound drive. Erin know a thing or two about drive.

Vietnam POW Philip Butler attended the Naval Academy with McCain and said recently on KCRW's To The Point that he believes, "John was able to graduate because of his heritage--his father and grandfather." McCain graduated fifth from the bottom in his class. Of McCain's campaign, Butler says, "The Media has exploited John's POW experience as a way of bringing him up as a hero to the American public so that he could be elected for president and I do take umbrage and issue with that."

Meet Butler for yourself (not part of the To The Point interview):



Couric bagged interview #2 with Palin.

Off to have a conjugal visit with the Goat.