Notes from Unique Thrift

Unique Thrift is the most kick ass second hand store in the world. I go to the downtown location on Lorain Avenue near Fulton on Cleveland's near west side.

They do one hell of a business--particularly on half-price day, with people loading up carts with second-hand clothes and toys and books. Unique Thrift has unusual gift items as well.

I picked up these utterly cool boots for EIGHT BUCKS.

This old Tuco puzzle set me back TWENTY FIVE CENTS. Never mind that it's missing about 20 pieces, the resident bepuzzler is doing it anyway. Who can resist those chunky "triple-thick" pieces?

The Goat explored Unique Thrift's Sporting Goods department.

He also enjoys perusing the store's snazzy discount fashion items.

For those interested in slightly experienced underwear, Unique is the place to find it. If that ain't looming fruit, baby, I don't know what is.

Unique Thrift has a particular odor. It is not necessarily a bad odor. It is the odor one would expect in a cavernous room filled with used stuff. It smells like a giant closet.

That revelation should not be surprising, but here's the rub: your humble hostess is sensitive to airborne particulates. If I encounter a lot of dust or spend several hours in a closed space with a few smokers, I'll have something akin to a hay-fever attack, complete with sneezing, wheezing and nose-running. A barn full of animals can cause the same trouble.

If I spend more than five or ten minutes in Unique Thrift on a busy day when Unique Thrifters are rifling through the all the merchandise, there are enough airborne particulates to instigate such a fit, which will subside almost immediately upon my exit. As evidenced by this post, this minor health inconvenience does not deter my patronage in any way.

Now all you candy asses know who you're dealing with.

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Sweet dreams

The best thing I ever saw in my life ever

The Foundations Department

I like to go to thrift stores.

The biggest Salvation Army Thrift Store in the world is in Strongsville, OH, which is a few miles from where I live. I love that you can buy wedding dresses at the thrift store, and old purses.

I love to watch people shop in second hand stores. They're very careful about their purchases, taking time to inspect the Presto Air Popper. They look at the cord. They ask the Salvation Army guy if it works. They go over every seam of the bean bag chair and make sure the miniature plastic spatula is with the toy kitchen set.

I watch the people until something catches my eye. Then I behave like them, although I do not count the pieces of the jigsaw puzzles I buy. I once bought a pill box hat for $1.50 at the Goodwill.

I often donate stuff to the Salvation Army. I loved that my old electric beater was in the housewares department (at least I think it was mine). I wanted to stand up and say, "Hey! That's a good electric beater! You oughtta buy that mother for only $2.99!

Unique Thrift is a huge second hand store downtown. They have the biggest rack of second hand underwear I ever saw.

Most people see a rack of used underwear in a thrift store and think: ugh and move on.

Not me.

I wonder about who sorts the second hand underwear. I think: Wow look at that. It's a rack of used underwear and now I have to figure out how to take a picture of it so I can post it on the Internet! As if anyone cares about how The Great Erin O'Brien interacts with a rack of used underwear.

Then there is the implication of being me.

Because now I am a person taking photographs of used underwear in a thrift store (behaving furtively, complete with eyes shifting back and forth beneath dangling pricetag of yet another hat I have yet to pay for). This puts me in a whole new category (population: 1), but at least it gives the people who are purchasing said underwear someone to roll their eyes at:

Look at the broad taking pictures of the underwear.

Some people. Sniffs. Honey, hand me that bra over there by you--that baby blue one.

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