Friday, January 10, 2014

"It happens."

A news trilogy garnered by your humble hostess while she was unsuccessfully trying to look away from Chris Christie's staggering fall from the George Washington Bridge. Excerpts from various sources.

1. "An Oklahoma man is being held on suspicion of murdering his stepfather by giving him an 'atomic wedgie,' officials said.

Police said Brad Lee Davis got into a drunken family fight with his stepfather in which he grabbed the man’s underwear, pulled it over his head, and suffocated him with the waistband."

2. "An Oklahoma high school suspended a 15-year-old student after accusing her of casting a magic spell that caused a teacher to become sick, lawyers for the student said on Friday.

According to the lawsuit, Brandi Blackbear had read a library book about Wicca beliefs and, under aggressive interrogation by (assistant principal Charlie) Bushyhead, said she might be a Wiccan."

3. "Rep. Leslie Combs accidentally fired her handgun while unloading it in her office in the Capitol Annex on Tuesday.

'I'm a gun owner. It happens,' she said Wednesday, adding that she was following safety precautions as she unloaded her Ruger 380 semi-automatic handgun."

Um ... help.

*  *  *


Elisson said...

Great. Just great. It's not enough I gotta worry about stroke, cancer, heart disease, and (gasp!) diabeetus... now I got the Deadly Atomic Wedgie to think of.

Well, fuckity fuckerson.

Erin O'Brien said...

Oh dear. Just found out the witchy-itchy story was from 2000. Sorry, gang!

More info here.

Anonymous said...

In any recent compilation of lunacy it seems to me this story cannot be ignored:

Jennifer McCarthy Pulls Gun From Vagina After Dispute Over Space Aliens: Cops

And understanding I may be begging the question Where, I ask, do you put you're gun when you're arguing about aliens?


twinklysparkles said...

The Jennifer McCarthy is a different person than "personality" Jenny McCarthy.

Sorry I cannot be of service. We are fucked but you are fortunately here to be one of the lights.


Bill the Wrenchbender said...

Uh, sorry Ms Combs, but you were obviously NOT following safety precautions properly, or your pistol would NOT have fired.These people piss me off.

Anonymous said...

Honorable Mention:

Jim Garrow Reveals Bill in Portland Maine's Secret Plan To Use Aliens And Canadians To Plot Against America
---Right Wing Watch.


Anonymous said...


If I'm fixin' to throw down mano y mano* with some out-of-town galacto-trash I usually give my hog-leg to Bigfoot to hold for me...


*OR-y mano y mano y mano-just depends on which gin-mill I drop by.

Anonymous said...


When asked about the hundreds of bullet-riddled Natty-Lite cans, the four nitrous-oxide tanks with medical masks still attached, or the four breeding-pairs of vicunas also found in her offices, Rep. Combs replied, "I'm a gun owner. Things happen."


Erin O'Brien said...

In other news: coffee.

philbilly said...

Note to self:
Analyze Comb's "safety procedures" and be sure to do exactly the opposite.

Anonymous said...

Was I the only one disappointed that Ms Combs was not from Oklahoma?