Sunday, May 01, 2011

Dear Donnie,

Photo by Gage Skidmore for Wiki
I used to have respect for the way you reinvented yourself, that whole over-the-top "You're Fired" shtick struck me as oddly self-deprecating (wink wink, nudge nudge). You were laughing at yourself while being in control of the entire movement--and you pulled it off. No, I wasn't a big fan of the show, but I thought that Caroline chick was a gas.

If you want to dig someone who's mastered this , Donnie baby, see William Shatner--the Supreme Lord of being in on the joke when the joke is on you. And if you're out there, Bill, I love ya.

That, Donnie baby, is how you do it.

But your glittering Trumpness and The Apprentice (do note how your image appears carefully below the fold on that page) wasn't enough, was it? Last week you fell from the esteemed Shatner camp of camp into the depths of Hefner hell with one spectacular step. Now you're a self-made man that created a staggering one-name brand then painted yourself into caricature with a palette of greed and hubris. Hefner will die a joke amid a gaggle of giggling (and I daresay relieved) blonds and you'll be the jackass with the bad comb-over who pompously congratulated himself for getting Obama to finally behave and show his papers when asked.

Have fun in hell you miserable shitbag.



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UPDATE: After I penned this, Donnie baby, I watched Seth Meyers' monologue at the White House Correspondence Dinner. It is flat-out hilarious, but watching you smolder was pure sugar for my soul. Aw Donnie baby, you sure can't take the joke when you're not the one holding the cards, can you?


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Bill said...

Erin, you've done it again! Smart and funny. I would love to on Cable TV taking on some of the right's smart chicks. I see you sort of like the left's S.E. Cupp. They need you.

Vince said...

But people like Shatner. People don't really like Trump, never have. He, at very best, was tolerated.
Think Lindsey Lohan and Paris Hilton. We think Lindsey is in the middle of her own personal shit storm. While Paris is the prissy one that even the prissy girls hate.
Obama hits a few prissy buttons himself. And there is little real liking for him. His wife we like, him nope. And I couldn't give a shit either way for it's no skin from my nose. But can you really see yourself like you could with Clinton, face down on the blotter.

Big Mark 243 said...

See, Captain Kirk is from Canada. They don't mind a good joke, especially when it is at their expense.

The Donald is uniquely American. Overestimates his own worth, ability, intelligence, FINANCES... plus, he doesn't care that he wears the worst toupee ever.

Anywho, you do rock, EOB.

Anonymous said...

The right has smart chicks?

Trump is hardly self-made. He inherited a pretty nice starter package. His most refined skill seems to be arranging bankruptcy protection. I first thought he'd just decided to steal Palin's thunder, which would've been comenndable and in line with your camp instinct. Now it seems he's just become intoxicated with his own celebrity.


P.S. Whatever Karma impulse you muster send a measure to my old home towns of Tuscaloosa and Birmingham. Fortunately none of my relations were seriously harmed. Peace.

Tony Rugare said...

I understand that The Donald papers certifying he is a shitbag but won't release them

Tony Rugare said...

Suffring from Trump disease - that should have been "The Donald has papers"

Erin O'Brien said...

Why yes Comrade Rugare! We must see the Trumpster's Shitkanistan papers immediately!

Anonymous said...

I thought it was Shitbagistan? And yes, fellow Anon, you are correct to raise that question.

Erin O'Brien said...

Viva Shitkanistan!

You know, watching Trump smolder during Seth Meyers' WHCD monologue was almost worth all the infuriating teeth gnashing I did during his birther tirades.

And point taken, RJ, my words may not be well chosen, but I was thinking more of that self-made singular one-word brand some celebs have. Cher is in that set, so is Madonna. Unless you're playing Euchre, the word "trump" evokes a singular image.

Anonymous said...

Your words are fine my neurons less.

While it would be terribly cynical I have this fantasy that he'll go on Letterman and say "Dave, Some people will believe anything. The world's in a story state."


Bill said...

RJ: More likely, he'd go on Letterman and say: "hey Dave. You still banging that young assistant of yours? She's hot! How's your marriage?"

Anonymous said...

I don't think so Bill. That would make him pretty vulnerable. Dave would love it though.
I don't see those shows like I once did but I did catch Donald there when he started his current schtick. It appears he and Dave have some sort of relationship and they're pretty honest with one another. And if I'm not mistaken he owes Letterman a million bucks if he decides to run.
But if Donald had the inclination...and I still wonder about his motive to coop Palin unless to discredit her...he could retire her to being a Mary Kay rep in Wasilla.


Bill said...

"Will you get me a diet coke?" That was Palin talking to Rachel Maddow yesterday at some luncheon. Pretty funny.

Kirk said...

Know who's even better than Shatner at being in on the joke when the joke's on you? Adam West. That's his whole career.

Bill said...

The best rug award goes to Shatner.

Once Known as The Badger said...

Erin, you're too kind to the old poot! He coulda been a contendah, but instead he's just another rich shitbag with delusions of grandeur.

Bill said...

Off Topic Alert!!
Does anyone else wonder where the anti war people are, after 3 little Ghaddafi Grandchilren are blown away by a NATO strike? Not a mention by anyone. We're NOT targeting Gadaffi. Just his offspring?

Lord Basil said...

Ms. O'Brien, you can excoriate Trump all you want, but the FACT is that he is the only one - the ONLY one - with the guts to force Barack Hussein Obama to produce his birth certificate (which I'm sure is a fake).

You liberals are TERRIFIED of anyone who challenges the tyrannically politically correct liberal orthodoxy, and the way people malign Trump's hair or personality only shows this more.

On a side note:

Freedom loving patriots MUST read this shocking expose by Pamela Geller - "AN ILLEGITIMATE CHILD, AN ILLEGITIMATE PRESIDENT"

It's all here in this shocking blog post:

Not only is Barack Hussein Obama not a natural born citizen because his father was a British subject, he is also ineligible to serve because he is an illegitimate child:

Talk about your proverbial can of worms. Clearly, Barack Hussein Obama's Immigration file was the impetus for President Obama to release his "long form" last week. If he thought that would put the matter to rest, it has had the opposite effect. It has all raised more questions than it answered, as does the release of shocking revelations in BHO I's immigration file.

Clearly, BHO I was never divorced from his first wife in Kenya. Further, INS suspected the BHO I/Stanley Ann Dunham marriage was a sham, arranged strictly to secure immigration status for him. But if Barack Senior was a Muslim polygamist, his "marriage" to Stanley Ann Dunham was invalid. Obama Senior was a Kenyan citizen. Kenya was still under English law at this time.

Illegitimate children had different rights -- at least they certainly did in 1789. There is no way that the founders of this great nation intended for an illegitimate child of a foreign bigamist to attain the highest, most powerful position in the new land.

The release of BHO I's immigration file is a potential smoking gun that just might be the way we can get this marxist homosexual fascist out of the oval office, and replace him with someone who respects the USC, families, God (our God, not Allah), and America.

The whole post is fascinating, and I urge all patriots to read it. The rest of you? Well, since you're all such dedicated O-bots, I doubt you have the courage to read anything that challenges the kool-aid the State Run Media pours for you every day.

Cleveland Bob said...

First rule--always remember, ignore the troll.

Secondly, Hugh Hefner's so old that when he has an orgasm, dust comes out.


Bill said...

The Trumpster IS the only one with the balls not to be intimidated by the BHO loving press on the certificate issue. I agree with Lord Basil about that.

Anonymous said...

LOL, it's all a big plot so you all can breath a sigh of relief when Palin decides to run and grateful the Donald isn't. Then on the other hand who gives a shit they are all crooks and it doesn't make much difference who wins. The current situation is ample proof of that.

James Old GUY

Anonymous said...

It's always good to here from the Lord.

"The Trumpster IS the only one with the balls not to be intimidated by the BHO loving press on the certificate issue."-Bill

Just as was speculated. For those who never doubted it's no big deal. For the others you could have video of Thomas Jefferson cutting the umbilical and it wouldn't matter.

There's an old drunk joke that goes thusly...Guy walks into a bar. He takes a seat by a fellow drinking martinis. He has obviously had a few and is busily trying to impale the olive on a toothpick. Drunk is not having much luck with the elusive olive so the new customers says "Here, let me help" and promptly spikes the olive and presents it to the drunk for consumption. Drunk says "Thanks, but you know I had tired it out."

Trump picked up the olive when it was tired. To say no one else had taken on the "BHO loving press" is simply a denial of reality. Here ya go, have a toothpick.


Andy said...

What's sweeter than sweet is the fact that the room was erupting while Trump was fuming. Judging by the crowd response, few attendees felt any urge to spare his feelings.

I've read that egoists/narcissists such as Trump revel in ANY attention, positive or negative, but here is an exception. Nobody, not even Trump, likes to be in a room with hundreds of people laughing at them.

Anonymous said...

It's sort of beside the point by now, but I love this post of yours. Great writing. I especially love the phrase "miserable shitbag."

Balls or stupidity/ignorance? Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference. Having experienced many a brass pair in my day, I must say that Trump thinks he's got the former only due to the latter.

Bill said...

RJ: OK. It's the "drunk" BHO loving press. And, I think it was his grandmother that cut the umbilical cord.

The Writer Currently Known as Rory said...

Dear Donnie,

How do you like them apples, shithead?!

America, FUCK YEAH!!!!

Erin O'Brien said...

Trump went ahead and verbalized his poor sportsmanship to the press.

The candy ass.

Vince said...

Oh come now. Ricky Gervais was given a roasting for being a bit harsh on a bunch of tits from Hollywood. But that fellow went for Trump the other evening in ways that was nasty on sooooo many levels.
No matter what Trumps motivations, Obama should have released that file without fuss. He should never have waited.

I have to ask as an aside to the post. Are you worried if you are arrested by someone with republican ideals, a republican sheriff for instance. Are you fearful of getting a fair shake before a republican judge. It, from the outside, seems that there are such levels of difference. That a form of apartheid, in law and in the employment fields seems inevitable.

alphadog said...

Good question Vince.
I must say, if I had a position of employment open and two people were equally qualified but of opposing political views, I'd without a doubt hire the person whose thinking was more in tune with my own.
Unless of course the other candidate was an attractive female whose main goal in life... Oh, wait. That was sexist, can't go there.

WV: ropeoli. Italian bondage?

Erin O'Brien said...

Vince, you'll have to find a rightie blog for a Trump pity party. That jackass barked into every available microphone at the top of his lungs disparaging Obama. His assertions were the most idiotic garbage imaginable.

He acted like a big rich bully. Trump wholly earned every one of those jokes and then some.

Erin O'Brien said...

Trump doesn't realize that he had to laugh harder than anyone else in the room Saturday night no matter how vicious or prolonged the roasting.

Them's the rules, Trumpster. Sorry baby, YOU LOSE.

Vince said...

You're kinda missing what I'm saying. It not so much that Trump shouldn't have been filleted. But that a one line putdown would have provided just that. You don't provide a level of martyrdom by banging in a nail to the point where it's not him being a fool but the savaging he got that's remembered. To do that implies that the notion of persuasion of the opposition has halted.
What I saw the other evening on the tube was nothing more than civil war devisions where the only inclusion was the four wall that contained them.

Bill the Wrenchbender said...

Nah, Trump is an asshole, period. He is an example of what is wrong with this country.

Erin O'Brien said...

Vincent: sit up straight, put your feet flat on the floor and pay attention.

Every time someone in America says, "I like Donald Trump, but he could never win the presidency," it is code for: "Finally, a rich white guy put that arrogant black man in his place. Too bad more people don't think like me."

One comment? Hell no. It was high time someone put that braying ass in his place. I only wish Michelle had kicked him in the balls as well.

Anonymous said...

EOB: non-sequitur. There are none to kick. Just shriveled skin where they should've been. Shoulda. Woulda. Coulda. heh

Anonymous said...

@Vince: "Obama should have released that file without fuss. He never should have waited"
Translation: "Where's your pass, BOY!"
He produced what any other citizen of the State of Hawaii would have available unless they also sent an attorney to the state capitol with a waiver.
Yes, it's RACIST.
RE the thin skin of Mr. Drumpf, can one expect to jet around the country for six weeks braying like an ass, spouting an almost stream-of- consciousness line of drivel, and expect to not hear some of it back? SIX frickin' weeks, and part (not ALL, PART) of a twenty minute monologue is too much for the tough guy who's going to lower gas prices by dropping f-bombs to the Saudis? Oh really? Mike R

Bill said...

Erin, Mike R: Why do you find it necessary to label everyone who does not like Obama, racist? The President, being arrogant, is ok. Being naive and ignorant, is not.

Erin O'Brien said...

How unusual. Another wide-eyed blinking rightie saying with disbelief, gee, you mean that comes off as racist to you?

Vince said...

In a Country where university professors are fearful to put their personal thoughts in internal emails it's a bit bloody rich that official documents are closed.
And quite honestly I couldn't give a shit if you vote in a Vulcan as POTUS. But it is politically stupid when divisions are 50/50 near enough to force down the throat contentious candidates. The Democratic Party's agenda is bigger than the shorttermism exhibited so far. Leastwise it should be. But then how the hell did they lose the Kennedy seat in Mass.

Bill said...

LOL! Got stereotype?

Erin O'Brien said...

Okay Bill, fine.

Disagree with Obama on Gitmo, healthcare reform or taxes and no, you're not a racist.

Say this: "The Trumpster IS the only one with the balls not to be intimidated by the BHO loving press on the certificate issue," and you're pushing your luck. Dig Mike R's comment above.

Anonymous said...

Bill @ 12:11-no, I didn't label anyONE a racist. Yes, IT is prima facia racism to demand documentation of one individual that has never been demanded of any other individual, similarly situated, whose sole distinguishing difference is race or ethnicity when the sole motivation is to discredit or marginalize said individual.
Vince @12:33-huh?-Mike R
Erin: Mr Drumph..err..Trump has never looked more presidential than he did during Seth Myers' monologue. Unfortunately, the president was Teddy Roosevelt. On Mt. Rushmore. Mike Rgatin

Bill said...

Erin: Had I said: "Herman Cain" is the only one with the balls....." Would that also be racist? Before you answer, let me lay down on the couch here. OK.

Mike: A new definition of racism. Interesting. Rediculous but interesting.

Anonymous said...

Bill @ 2:14-Don't just call it "Rediculous"-refute it. Mike R

Bill said...

Would it be racist if one voted for a candidate because of the color of his skin? I don't know of anybody that would do that but, just curious what you guys think.