Anatomy of the apprehension of a high school football game streaker

The following is directly from the "narrative" section of a police report I picked up yesterday. I have lightly edited the text for brevity/clarity and to eliminate all names.

On Friday, October 2 at 8:45 pm, I worked security at the Brecksville-Broadview Heights High School homecoming football game with four other officers. At the start of the third quarter, another officer and I stood on the home sideline, near the fifty-yard line, when we noticed a male wearing nothing but a football helmet and a wig streaking across the field. Please note, the helmet lacked a chin-strap.

The white male, who had a thin, muscular build, ran out from behind the visitor stands and across the field to the west. After a brief second, we chased the male to the southwest corner of the stadium. The male then scaled the eight-foot fence,* which surrounds the field, before we could reach him. He headed towards the honors parking lot and into the area on the south side of the high school.

I gave chase and maintained sight of the male even though he had a large head start. The male looked backwards repeatedly, and knew uniformed patrol officers were chasing him. The wooded area where the male ran into was recently cleared out for a new gas line and came out onto Summit Circle.

As we neared the above development, the male took off and threw down the football helmet as he continued to flee. While running in the wet, deep** and clumpy mud, I fell covering my uniform/leather gear*** in said mud. The male subsequently crested a small grade/hill in the woods and I lost visual of him. However, other officers were already on Summit Circle and noticed an unoccupied vehicle parked on the cul-de-sac.

Upon further inspection of the vehicle, an officer located the car keys lying on the front left tire. He also noticed a pair of pants, shirt, shoes, and wallet on the front seat. Moreover, a chin strap**** was located on the back seat of the vehicle. All of these items were in plain sight from outside the vehicle.

The officer entered the vehicle using the key and found an Ohio license. The physical description matched that of the male who streaked across the field. The vehicle was re-secured. A note was left on the vehicle and the keys and football helmet were taken back to the police department.

A short time thereafter, an officer stopped a group of males. The males admitted to him that it was in fact (name omitted) who streaked across the football field.
The male eventually turned himself in and is facing charges of disorderly conduct, obstruction official business and public indecency.

Because of the male's actions, ten officers were "tied up"***** for an extended period of time while looking for him.

* That's a CHAIN LINK fence. Hope the kid was careful.

** Sort of arousing until you get to "clumpy."

*** Re-arousing.

**** Aha!

***** Does anyone else sense a subtle recurring theme here?

The kid's court date is scheduled for later this month. Yes, he is over 18. It's probably ill-advised and I do feel bad about the cop's mud bath, but I'm sort of rooting for the kid.

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