Thursday, October 08, 2009

No frozen or plastic dead Erin

I don't care if what this cryonics guy says about Ted Williams and his frozen head is true or false; DO NOT let anyone freeze me when I croak.

DO NOT turn me into a plastic dead guy either, even if it's for high-minded educational purposes.

Put my sorry dead ass in the cheapest coffin you can find and burn me up. Then everybody go on and have some scotch and ham and talk about how great I was for a couple of hours--just like you're supposed to do it: regular. No funny business.

* * *


Tag said...

Does this count as a Living Will?

DogsDontPurr said...

Wow. Oddly I've read several blogs this week that had to do with how people would like to be buried.

I've always said, half jokingly, that I'd like my tombstone to be a pink marble sphinx.

And oddly enough, I actually found an amazing pair of pink marble sphinxs (sp?) at a funky antique store in Santa Monica.

Oh, but they were freakin expensive. Somewhere around $6000 for the pair. Probably a great value, but not when you still have to pay the rent!

I'm guessing though, after I'm long dead and no longer have to pay the rent, I probably won't want the pink marble sphinxs as much as I would like to have them now.

Anonymous said...

"Does this count as a Living Will?"

Only if it's notarized. LMAO.


Lemmy Caution said...

I just don't understand being buried in a graveyard. Taking up space. It is so completely and totally pointless.

Erin has the right idea. Kick the tires and light the fires. Cremate away.

I can think of no more pointless and bigger waste of space than being put in a coffin and buried.

LimesNow said...

True story, Erin. I took a call to give an estimate to clean the carpets in that damned "Bodies" exhibit on the fabulous Las Vegas Strip. Even though we're a struggling small business, those things freak me out so badly, I didn't want to send a technician in there. He loved it, however!

When I'm gone, I don't want any nonsense, either. Even though I'm no longer in it, it's still MY body and I'd like it to draw some respect.

Erin O'Brien said...

To me, the idea of having yourself frozen for later use is the zenith of selfishness.

And these "cryogenic" labs prey on the delusion that you'll somehow live forever. It's completely offensive to me.

Listen buddy, I don't care how big your dick was or how smart your were or how many touchdowns you scored; you had your dance here on the earth, now lay down and die already.

It is a crazy world.

I'm sure this post/comment section will piss somebody off. Seems about all I'm good for these days.

When do they light the drinking lamp today?


LimesNow said...

Finally, it's just OVER. Get over it. Gently put my carcass on the funerly pyre and the rest of you move on.

It must be 5:00 somewhere!

Mr. L said...

Well, there go MY "post-mortem Erin" plans....LOL.

Seriously, though...dead is dead...I can't see tying up land with graves when it could be used for a golf course. :)

LimesNow said...

[Embarrassed for typo - Kirk Jusko has made me anxious about such things]

That would be "funeral pyre" as in "Light My Fire".

dhestand said...

Couldn't agree with you more. Put what's left of me to good use. I've had occasion to attend a couple of funerals held in the Quaker? (Friends) tradition. The most amazing thing about them is that they are not sad occasions; they are celebratory. One particular aspect is what makes them great. For as long as it takes, the funeral attendees sit around the deceased's remains (the 2 I attended were ashes in a box) and take turns standing up and saying something about how they remember the person, or how that person affected them in life. It's such a positive, happy thing to hear common, everyday statements about how the deceased changed lives by just simply existing. I think success could be measured by how many people attended your funeral and how long it took for people to say the things they remember about you.