Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Rainy Day Recession

In my column this week, I toss out a few ideas on how to keep living large in the face of a shrinking economy. For those who might think I'm sitting over here casting crumbs from a throne, no way, baby. There is not one suggestion in my essay that didn't originate from the Offices of Erin O'Brien and points contingent. Erin walk the walk. Below are some photos to prove it.

Tough times have descended upon the Cleveland Scene as well, which is why my column isn't running as frequently. They've also cut back on published letters. But if you feel the need to tell my editor you love me or hate me, email Frank Lewis at flewisATclevesceneDOTcom.

Hidden bottles in my toilet tank. Too bad they ain't vodka.

The Poly Perk coffee pot. mmm ... That Maxwell House sure is fine!

Suave and Pabst and Valu Time. Generic is us, baby.

Does Carlo Rossi come in single-serve cans?

Snack time! I've got a two pound brick of Velveeta. Pass the Triscuits and Vlasics.

The dreaded giant pork. Look at the size of the behemoth compared to the Campbell's soup can!


Museful said...

Nice touch - the roses with the Carlo Rossi. I might try it next time we have a dinner party.

Kirk Jusko said...

I know you used to be an engineer, so maybe you can clear something up for me.

You say putting bottles in the holding tank will save water. OK...but...don't you need all that water to refill the toilet bowl once you've flushed? Won't you end up with less water in the bowl if one were to do it your way? I guess that wouldn't matter much when it comes to, um, urine, but with, ahem, excretement (as well as toilet paper) that could be problematic.

Now, it occurs to me there's a pipe connected to the holding tank, from where all this water originates in the first place. I suppose when you flush, the new water would just bypass those bottles, and the bowl would just fill up as normal. But, if that's so, then why is the holding tank the size it is in the first place? For than matter, why is there EVEN a holding tank, since the water's coming from a pipe in the first place?

Tell Frank Lewis I love you because you stimulate my intellect.

Rodger Jacobs said...

Judging from the advice that Rachel Ray gave on the Larry King broadcast on CNN last night, it seems like a whole lot of folks need some re-education in the Home Ec department, advice such as buying a whole chicken instead of pre-packaged chicken parts so you can get multiple meals from one offering. Well, duh! I've been doing that shit my whole life, it's called sensible shopping. Maybe we should look into erecting Home Economics Retraining Camps.

VideoDude said...

OOOH! Toilet Science! I'm on the edge of my seat! lmao!

Kirk Jusko said...

Erin, scratch that last sentence from my comment. Not that I don't love you, but when I read it back, it sounds like I'm being mean or something.

Winters said...

That Campbell's soup can is dwarfed!

Anonymous said...

We're very water-conscious Down Under, seeing as our continent is basically a big desert with some green around the edge. Our toilets have 2 flush buttons: half flush or full flush depending on circumstances.

Rory L. Aronsky said...

About the photo of the giant pork, thanks for making me feel much smaller, Erin. ;)

deangc said...

Mr. Jusko: the bowl is flushed with the water that is in the tank. Then the water line refills the tank.

There is a simple automatic mechanism that refills the tank to a fixed level each time. Therefore, placing something in the tank will displace some of the volume, and the tank will hold less water.

When you press the lever, the tank empties into the bowl, raising the level of the water there enough to cause it to trip the siphon at the back: the mass of the water carries all before it, and the bowl is emptied.

The modern flush toilet is a marvelous invention, simple, robust, and effective.

Erin O'Brien said...

Kirk: what Dean said.

Dean? That was as arousing as a toilet flush description could ever get.

Amy L. Hanna said...

Jugs of wine (Carlo Rossi)? Check.

Store brand coffee (Dave's Colombian sold in single packs, 2/1.00 - decent, actually!)? Check.

Shitty (insert brand of choice) 6-pack of beer sitting in fridge door? Check.

(But that pork pic still makes me laugh!)

kamper said...

Geez Erin, if you're going to post pictures of giant pork, at least buy one that's circumcised!

Style points for the Lea & Perrins worcestershire sauce (next to the Colman's mustard). Even during these trying economic times, one must maintain one's dignity.

(S)wine said...

thanks to you, milk jugs filled w/sand or water in our tank.

Carlo has long been a staple in this household; although at times we'll splurge on a $15 bottle of Coppola's Zinfandel. But only at times.

Diane Vogel Ferri said...

LOVED your Scene article - so funny. One of your best.