Getcha a chunk of butter, maybe two or three tablespoons. Melt that in a sauce pan and add about two or three tablespoons of flour. Use a whisk and mix it into a good paste. Pour some milk in there, start out with, say, a half a cup and keep whisking until it gets silky smooth. Add more milk if it's too thick.
The next part is the cheese.
Now don't everyone go screaming naked through the streets, but here's the truth: You could make with some aged cheddar or a good gruyere, but if you want the kids (who are home from school on account of the 17 feet of snow and ice) happy, you'll pull out the Velveeta.
There, I said it.
Get about three or four ounces (it's marked on the foil package) and cut it into one-inch chunks. Throw that into the milk/butter/flour stuff (I won't spoil Al the Retired Army Guy's fun and tell you the regular name of that). Keep stirring until it's a nice cheesy sauce. Add more milk or cheese if you have to. I don't know how much, just figure it out. I like to put beer in there sometimes, but I don't if it's for the kids. Same goes for some garlic.
A shake of Worcestershire sauce or a teaspoon of dried mustard is good in there, but don't let the kids see you putting it in cause they freak out like you tried to sneak in an onion. Oh yeah, this is on a low/medium heat the whole time. You'll be stirring almost the whole time.
The best bread to use is homemade Italian, sliced almost an inch thick. You could use a bagel or English muffin, I guess. Toast 'em up.
Now plop that toast on a plate and drizzle that cheese sauce all over it. Serve it up with an ice-cold glass of milk and a dish of apple sauce sprinkled with cinnamon sugar.
When I make it for the kids, I call it a knife-and-fork toasted cheese. The real name is Welsh Rarebit. I've never followed a recipe for it, but here's one if you want to. Those kids will about do back flips over this. Plus, afterwords their full up with fuel to tackle the snow banks and sleds and forts for the rest of the afternoon.
If you did it right, you'll have enough left over in the bottom of the pan for you to get a good dunk with the heel of the bread. Eat it while you're standing in front of the kitchen sink, watching the little devils running around out back throwing snow and laughing.
Don't believe in magic? I do. Didn't I just make you forget about the recession and turn a bunch of bored kids into snow angels?