Friday, January 30, 2009

Recession post vol. eight: snow day lunch

Getcha a chunk of butter, maybe two or three tablespoons. Melt that in a sauce pan and add about two or three tablespoons of flour. Use a whisk and mix it into a good paste. Pour some milk in there, start out with, say, a half a cup and keep whisking until it gets silky smooth. Add more milk if it's too thick.

The next part is the cheese.

Now don't everyone go screaming naked through the streets, but here's the truth: You could make with some aged cheddar or a good gruyere, but if you want the kids (who are home from school on account of the 17 feet of snow and ice) happy, you'll pull out the Velveeta.

There, I said it.

Get about three or four ounces (it's marked on the foil package) and cut it into one-inch chunks. Throw that into the milk/butter/flour stuff (I won't spoil Al the Retired Army Guy's fun and tell you the regular name of that). Keep stirring until it's a nice cheesy sauce. Add more milk or cheese if you have to. I don't know how much, just figure it out. I like to put beer in there sometimes, but I don't if it's for the kids. Same goes for some garlic.

A shake of Worcestershire sauce or a teaspoon of dried mustard is good in there, but don't let the kids see you putting it in cause they freak out like you tried to sneak in an onion. Oh yeah, this is on a low/medium heat the whole time. You'll be stirring almost the whole time.

The best bread to use is homemade Italian, sliced almost an inch thick. You could use a bagel or English muffin, I guess. Toast 'em up.

Now plop that toast on a plate and drizzle that cheese sauce all over it. Serve it up with an ice-cold glass of milk and a dish of apple sauce sprinkled with cinnamon sugar.

When I make it for the kids, I call it a knife-and-fork toasted cheese. The real name is Welsh Rarebit. I've never followed a recipe for it, but here's one if you want to. Those kids will about do back flips over this. Plus, afterwords their full up with fuel to tackle the snow banks and sleds and forts for the rest of the afternoon.

If you did it right, you'll have enough left over in the bottom of the pan for you to get a good dunk with the heel of the bread. Eat it while you're standing in front of the kitchen sink, watching the little devils running around out back throwing snow and laughing.

Don't believe in magic? I do. Didn't I just make you forget about the recession and turn a bunch of bored kids into snow angels?


Anonymous said...

erin, have you heard of the bacon wrap.I saw it on the news, pig,pig and more pig.The guys made a weave with the bacon then layed sausage and rolled only after filling it with even more bacon crumbs. Oh and BBQ sause .ahhhh

nadina in canada eh

Erin O'Brien said...

Nadina, I swear to god I was watching that vid when you posted this comment! I can't seem to link it, but it's called 'bacon explosion'

Freak me out!

Zen Wizard said...

I call Welsh Rabbit made with Velveeta, "Velveetatine Rabbit" around the Wizard household.

Chris said...

I love Welsh Rarebit (the cheddar version, anyhow - Velveeta creeps me out). Try adding a sliced tomato and some bacon or fried ham - muy delicious!

(S)wine said...

bacon explosion = meat porn

glittergirl said...

i always wondered about welsh rarebit! so no actual rabbit used?

i might need to try this. cheesy toast is always good.

Paul said...

This used to be a favorite at my parent's house 'till my mom went vegan. The beer gave it that perfect flavor - I'm not sure how it would taste with-Velveeta-sans-beer, but it couldn't be too bad!

Glass Houses said...

Erin, I would love for you to contribute to the Team Fat Kid Cookbook.

A bunch of friends who love food and beer have formed a club and we want to put together a cookbook. I think this would be a perfect addition. We aren't sure yet if we'll ever do a hard copy - right now it's only in blog form.

You, of course, would get the credit. It would be posted verbatim with your name on the bottom. Please let me know if I may share this.

Glass Houses said...

Oh, and also you should try Bacon Salt. It's available at Krogers and online. It's kosher, vegetarian, and makes everything taste like bacon. Delicious.

Elmer Fudd said...

That screwy warbit!

Anonymous said...

another cyber space moment wrapped in bacon.
I love beer .I enjoyed watching the goat getting every last frozen drop out of that bottle. Warmed me scotish heart. Erin don't you have a cooking show?Oh my god!The toppless meat rolling butter spreading cooking show. Ohay better go then.
nadina eh

Al The Retired Army Guy said...

Flour and fat = Roux
Roux + Milk + Onion Pique = Bechamel (White) Sauce
Bechamel (White Sauce) + Cheese = Mornay Sauce

Bechamel + Velveeta = ....

What's Velveeta?

And Somtime Culinary Student

Anonymous said...

Mother of The Year.

And Elmer..."be very qwiet, I'm hunting wabbit."


Erin O'Brien said...

Hey everybody!

Sure Glass Houses, email me the link when you post it.


philbilly said...

[In Jimmy Stewart's voice]

"huhwa, what's Velveeta, you say? Well, well Velveeta is.., wha, what's Velveeta!?? Well its, its, its America! that's what it is!"

Kosher vegetarian bacon salt sounds suspiciously American as well. I am on a mission to buy this wondrous thing.

Shaina said...

that sounds...amazingly good and now i hate you because there's no way that i can get that here in israel. roar.

Anonymous said...

It sounds heart-stopping good!