A person does not expect to go toilet shopping.
Yet here I am, shopping for a toilet. I do not want to shop for a toilet, but it seems unavoidable if, in fact, I am going to have a new toilet. There is nothing wrong with my old toilet, but if you're going to spend a lot of money in order to upgrade your bathroom, you might as well do it right and not put a 40-year-old crapper in a brand new bathroom.
In today's toilet market, having a powerful flush mechanism is important, at least according to promotional material.
"Will flush a bucket of golf balls!"
I am concerned about this metaphor. I am concerned about the likening of fecal deposits to what the kid behind the counter hands you at a driving range.
I will never flush the toilet again without thinking of a bucket of golf balls. Life is not fair.
10 comments:
Things are slow and the economy is in the crapper, so I thought I would stop by and say hello. When I get here, I find that your blog has also gone to the crapper - literally.
Still love ya!
Flamingo.
I guess it would be bad feng shui to get a used toilet--the guy who had the toilet before probably got all the good "While Sitting on the John"-Ideas out of the toilet when HE was sitting on it.
I'm enjoying the mental image of you shopping for toilets. It gave me a smile today.
Flushing down golf balls? That's a whole lot of hole-in-ones.
Keep the 40-year-old crapper. Today's toilets are low-capacity, requiring multiple flushes.
Which means they're worse than the water hogs they replace.
What kirk jusko posted!
ditto on keeping the "vintage" toilet. New "lo-flo" models use half the water sure. But you flush them 3 times as much. My dream toilet is an old turqoise one ( matching sink&tub -natch)built on a small raised platform making it 4-5 inches higher than normal.
"And anyone taking a good look around my bathroom and wondering how I tolerate the horrible goddamn tile and peeling wallpaper, I tolerate it because I have to. And when we get enough money to redecorate it, we will. Until then I just have to suck it up. I don't take out loans just so I can shower in beautiful surroundings."
You got enough money, I guess. Congratulations.
The whole golf-ball/feces equivalency thing has got me spooked. I have images of having to pass a bucket of golf balls, for example, and I further find myself imagining a case where a golfer, having passed the bucket of golf balls, must now hit a bucket of turds out on the driving range.
I think there must be something wrong with me.
At least we're not talking bowling.
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