Friday, August 01, 2008

Mall zombies

Just got back from the mall. It was hellish.

I don't go to the mall very often and when I do, I go in, get what I need and leave. I don't hang around sucking down an extra-large Orange Julius all day. But this time, my kid was taking forever in Claire's, so I told her I'd wait outside on a bench.

After I checked over my purchases, I started really looking at the people in the mall.

Have you ever really looked at mall people? They are unattractive in a deep way. They are large, misshapen, slack-jawed and slow-moving. Bad shoes. Bad tattoes. Cheap, oversized clothing. Glazed expressions. Styrofoam plates piled high with bad mall food.

Terrifying, really.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Erin,

Wow. You just described Rosie O'Donnell to a T! ;-)

Al
TRAG

Anonymous said...

At least Rosie is honest enough to admit her manliness, Unlike Ann Coulter, that cross-dressing Spawn of Satan.

RJ

GLITTERGIRL said...

also, i agree 99.9%. just don't talk bad about my favorite mall food: chick-fil-a.

(amd yes, i know they are all christian and closed on sundays. i don't care. i love that sandwich with pickles!!!)

but yeah, the entire rest of the mall can burn down.

:)

Anonymous said...

RJ,

I thought Kathie Lee Gifford and Rachel Ray were the Spawn of Satan? Well, at least they are in my book. Especially Rachel Ray. She - Must - Be - Stopped.

Al
TRAG

Jarvis Rockhall said...

To quote a somewhat famous cockney folk-sing:

"It's the same the whole world over,
It's the poor what gets the blame,
It's the rich what gets the pleasure,
Isn't it a blooming shame?"

What worries me is the though that when I'm shopping I become one of them...

Anonymous said...

RJ,

I don't think Rosie is manly. Actually, I think she's a muppet. Anyone with a head that big has to be a muppet.

Al
TRAG