Just got back from the mall. It was hellish.
I don't go to the mall very often and when I do, I go in, get what I need and leave. I don't hang around sucking down an extra-large Orange Julius all day. But this time, my kid was taking forever in Claire's, so I told her I'd wait outside on a bench.
After I checked over my purchases, I started really looking at the people in the mall.
Have you ever really looked at mall people? They are unattractive in a deep way. They are large, misshapen, slack-jawed and slow-moving. Bad shoes. Bad tattoes. Cheap, oversized clothing. Glazed expressions. Styrofoam plates piled high with bad mall food.