Sunday, May 04, 2008

Recession post vol. one

Since the dollar has shrunk to a size that is way smaller than either of my nipples, I figured a few recession-themed posts were in order. To kick off this econo-fest, here is a graphic depicting some of the "choices" we've made here at Casa Goat D'OBrien in order stretch the ol' greenback a little further.

Some additional notes, suggestions and miscellany:

1. Shit-can that ritzy-titsy $8 vibrating 5-blade Soleil Venus whatever and get a 12-pack of disposable Lady Bic single-blade cheapos. Use Suave conditioner instead of that expensive melon-scented lady shave cream gel. It's fine.

2. How many of you keep your eyes closed during sex? Unrelated, I know, but I'm just curious.

3. Enough with the $5 CappuFreenoMochasspresso. But a goddamn can of Folgers and brew it yourself.

4. "Bloopy" should be a word.

5. DO NOT buy crappy sheets. If you can't afford the regular 300-count brushed pima cotton, go to TJMaxx and buy seconds. Doesn't matter if they don't have your color (particularly if you answered "all the time" to # 2), just so they feel wonderful next to the skin.

6. I love this. The chickie on the hay bale slays me.

More to come, including a special guest post from Al the Retired Army Guy. Now I'm off to Kohl's. My favorite brand of undies finally went on sale.


Alexa said...

nice tips erin. but i don't skimp on the razors i end up cutting the shit out of my legs with them.

but considering i barely shave in the winter (ha!) the razor money evens out through out the year.

Rick said...

Thanks for those truly helpful cost cutting tips!

swine said...

oh and...raw cabbage with olive oil, vinegar, salt, and pepper makes for a good lunch. Dinner. And breakfast. Also? How tender do one's soles have to be boiled in order to be comestible? Recipe to follow.

PDD said...

Depends on my mood. If I am hyper, definitely open. melancholic: closed.

Todays economy is frightening. Whatever will we do if our vibrators stop working??

PDD said...

I have reviewed and concluded that Swine is German...

Norm said...

I have saved enough to send one of my kids to college for three weeks by keeping my eyes closed during sex.

Also by recycling Ziplocs. Not during sex. Just to clarify.

Although there's never a bad time to recycle, really.

DogsDontPurr said...

When I got to number 5, I wanted to bow down and kiss your feet. Number 5 should be a commandment!!! Never buy crappy sheets!!

It's funny. I'm broke, but would never blink an eye at spending $xxx.xx on good sheets. Yet, I work for people who are wealthy...who would completely choke on spending enough to even get 100% cotton. They *all* have crappy sheets. It drives me up the wall when I have to make their beds!

I so love you, Erin!

Jon Konrath said...

Also, don't forget to brush your teeth with your own urine. This doesn't really save you any money, it's just something I picked up living in rural Indiana.

tim said...

1. Naw. From a male point of view, anyway, the more expensive razors with multiple blades and assorted alleged wizardry definitely stay usefully sharp much longer, whereas the Bic ones barely work in the first place.

2. No.

3. Agreed on this one. Have mainly switched from Starbucks to cafetiere (aka, french press).

5. Noted.

6. Odd. That's somehow far squickier than it oughta be.

Velvet Fog said...

Folgers?!?!? Really?
They can have my coffee when they pry it out of my cold dead hand.
I'll steal coffee before I resort to Folgers. CRIKEY!

Velvet Fog said...

Oh and Tim, research has shown, and the blade companies admit it that they use the exact same razor blades in the expensive refils as they do in the cheap disposables.
But don't believe me, believe consumer reports. Now go out there and stick it to the man.

Velvet Fog said...

And I know a thing or two about shaving. Just look at those legs.

Zen Wizard said...

I am concerned that if I downgrade to Lady Bic, the women won't dance while they are shaving their legs like in the Venus commercial.

Who am I kidding, no women shave their legs at my place.

Well, one did--but I am not sure she was really a woman. She left the toilet seat up for one thing...

What exactly IS a "thread count" in sheets, and why is it important?

Do little kids have to count the threads in Cambodia, where they make the sheets? Are they exposed to proper tutoring, or should I boycott sheets and just sleep on the mattress?

Is it because I have no f***in' idea what a thread count is, that THAT's the reason no women shave their legs at my place?

In other words, is there a "causal nexus" between the two phenomena?

Why do they call it, "Bed, Bath...& BEYOND"?

What is "beyond" the freakin' toilet?

The only thing I can think of is the window in the bathroom, where women are always sneaking out they sell kneepads for sneaking out bathroom windows, at Bed, Bath, and Beyond?

PDD said...

HAHAHAHA! To Zen Wizards comment/questions.

Fucking brilliant! hahaha

Thread count - as far as I now, it's better quality, and the material always seems to be thicker and more durable.

When they speak of "beyond" I believe they mean the multiple shower head speeds. But that's just my thinking...

Zen Wizard said...

It COULD BE the shower heads--I guess I am just expecting a little more from the "Beyond" part--like an ejector-seat toilet that shoots you up into the stratosphere through your retractable roof after you take a dump, or something.

If Bed, Bath, & Beyond starts to stock that, they will hear nary a peep from this corner as to their curious choice of name.

(I think it really means, "We will sell you sheets and pillowcases at a needless markup. We will sell you fancy shower curtains at a needless markup. And beyond that, there is some other pretentious crap in here that is also needlessly marked up.")

PDD said...


Wizard, I think you're right!

Ken Houghton said...

Your next post now has to be one of those old shots where your nipples show through the shirt and a picture of a Suzie B.

Just sayin'.

swine said...

PDD, NEIN. you must have me confused mit Josef Fritzl!

PDD said...


Anonymous said...

Ask SIL about what we learned at lunch today....did you know that Goat's pupils are rectangular in shape? Get a close up, I want to check that out. Make sure the Goat stands still so it ain't blurry.

Oh and by the way, I bet your favorite cheese is the naked Goat variety!!! AHHHCHACHA