Dear Erin, if you could put a dildo on any kitchen utensil, which would it be and why? Glass Houses, Lakewood, Ohio.
Dear Glass: The hand-held rotary mixer is my first thought, but that seems entirely too obvious and, quite frankly, pedestrian. Says Tantus Inc. of their high-end silicone phalli, "For the most complete and thorough cleaning don't hesitate to toss your Tantus Toy on the top rack of the dishwasher," which surely appeals to the housewife in me.
For originality as well as function, however, I'd recommend including a slim, lady-finger style vibrator in the bar set, which serves as a superb automatic drink stirrer. Not specifically attached to a utensil, but I think that captures the spirit of your query.
Dear Erin, what kind of dancer are you? Mary L.
Dear Mary L: Once at the gym, a man approached me as I pumped away on the elliptical machine, dripping in perspiration and clad in a reprehensible tee shirt and sweats. "Is it true you were once a ballroom dancer?" he asked coyly. I squared my statuesque 5' 1" frame, shook my head regally and said, "Why, yes."
He nodded in satisfaction, "That's what I'd heard," he said, and walked away.
Dear Erin, there are no stupid questions as the saying goes, how many stupid answers are there? Josh W, Indiana.
Dear Josh: Two: yes and no.