Monday, August 20, 2007

Green onion fingernails

I just woke up from a dream in which there were shiny green bumps in the surface of my fingernails. They were tiny, undeniably some sort of vegetation. They looked like the beginning of new green onions.

I was reticent about licking or sniffing them or (eek!) biting them to verify whether or not they were green onions. I started peeking at other people's fingertips. The only other people were men, all of whom were cultivating crops of green onion fingernails. Some of the growths were elaborate, with waving green stalks. Others had been chewed raw by their owners--a horrible sight. I was repulsed, but understandably relieved to discover I was not alone. I was also thankful to be at the polite tiny green bump stage of the ordeal. At least my bumps were still small and cute.

"Are they green onions?" I asked one somber gray man in an overcoat. He nodded apologetically and said some scientific name. then added, "a fungus," by way of explanation.

When I showed the growth to my husband, he pooh-poohed me and told me to ignore it. I stole a glance and saw that he, too, had a tiny green onion popping from his thumbnail.

I was drifting back and forth through the plenum that separates asleep from awake and I kept feeling the surface of my fingernails to verify they were smooth and free from growths. Results varied, depending on which side of the plenum I was on.

There were other disturbing waves in the dream, like the time I dreamt I was in the grocery store and some guy was using the deli meat carver to slice another guy's head beneath glaring fluorescent lights. Thankfully for me, this time Smart Erin erased the scariest stuff before Dumb Erin could remember it.

10 comments:

whitenoise said...

If any of the men were Booker T, this dream merely signifies that you are, indeed, the high priestess of cool...

james2285 said...

Freeky dream hope your nails and sanity are still alright. I took sleeping pills last night so no dreams. still breathing though.
Did the guys head look like that olive loaf you see in the deli case?

mizjosie said...

And my husband thinks MY weird dreams are disturbing....
(often they are and usually involve celebrities)
but...
Have you seen this before?
My ex-brothernlaw just blogged about it:
http://bookblog.net/gender/genie.php
(it decided im male...must just have testicles in the brain....)
i wonder if greenonions is a male or female dream?

~d said...

What did you eat before you went to sleep?

EBEZP said...

Booker T, oh were there any MG's in the dream?

Zandermann said...

decidely odd, Erin...
what sort of mushrooms did you have with supper?

Mone said...

ONIONSOUP!!!

Erin O'Brien said...

Whitenoise: Booker T might have been there, although I didn't notice a guitar.

James: Hi. I'm fine. The head carving dream was one of the most indelible nightmares I ever had. I remember the colorful packages lining the shelves and the horrible realization that it was a human head the butcher was carving. I shudder over it to this day.

Miz J: Welp. The gender genie things I'm a boy for this blog entry as well as one of my recent "Rainy Day Woman" columns.

~d: Roasted Goat.

EBEZP: No midgets in the dream!

Zandermann: No shrooms, just lots of roasted garlic.

Mone: Of course you're right. Soup it is!

Dan said...

It's people! Soylent Green is people!

Oh... wait. I've gone too far.

~d said...

*mee-yow!
tube steak?