Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Camp Erin

What could be more wholesome than a fun-filled week of activities, games and playtime? So load up your sleeping bags, Boppers, and come on down to Camp Erin!



Upon arrival

First thing's first and what does that mean campers? That's right! Safety is #1 at Camp Erin. So all campers are to report to my cabin upon arrival for a thorough physical inspection. Now don't be embarrassed. Inspections are 100% private and Councilor Erin has seen it all.

A typical day

11 a.m. Reveille. Actually, let's make that noon. And now that I think of it, eff that bugle guy. Let's ease into the day. I'll pipe some Nina Simone over the loudspeakers.

12:15 p.m. Mimosa wake-ups.

1:30 p.m. I suppose we ought to eat something.

2:15 p.m. Body painting

3 p.m. Topless yoga (view or participate)

3:15 p.m. Beer

4:30 p.m. Special friend time followed by nap

6:30 p.m. Campfire cocktails and Dark Practice (Tarot, Witchcraft, Levitation, etc.)

7:30 p.m. Food fun. Be creative! Use another camper as a plate. Lick someone else's fingers. Find a special friend and see how well they eat with their hands tied behind their back.

8:30 p.m. Candy bar break (Twix, Reese's, Butterfinger, Nestle Crunch, KitKat, Milky Way, York Peppermint Patty, Mallow Cup, etc.)

8:45 p.m. Skinnydipping

9:30 p.m. Let's watch a movie!

11:30 p.m. Martinis and midnight snacks. Yum!

12:30 a.m. Make your own Movie!

2 a.m. Nightcap

3 a.m. Tuck someone in.


Don't forget

Aspirin
Rubbing alcohol
Regular alcohol
Marital aids
Adult literature and accessories
Condoms
Personal lubricant
Mouthwash

Optional items

Underwear
Bible

32 comments:

Nin Andrews said...

You are too funny. I love it.
Did you see the movie, Fur?
I think you'd like it . . .

EBEZP said...

My bags are packed Erin! Just another pack of condoms and I'm ready.
See you soon!

Jim Winter said...

How much for seconds on the body inspection? I mean you want to be thorough, don't you?

shaina said...

sounds like fun! i think i'm a little too young yet, though...

Erin O'Brien said...

Nin: Based solely on the title, I can tell you I need to see this movie.

EBEZP: You're cabin's ready, baby.

JW: Actually, I prolly need an assistant. How about you be my deputy?

Shaina: No worries. Look for Erin's Youth Camp in 2008!

PocketCT said...

Sounds like a fabulous vacation. When? Where? How do I register?

~d said...

(same questions as pocketct: when? where? How do I register?)

~d heart Erin

sxKitten said...

Ditto pocketetc and ~d. Do you take Canadian funds at par?

~d said...

(May I pay for sxkitten to come? Just so I can invite her to be my special friend at 4:30?) heh heh heh

Pammy said...

Sign me up, sista!

Dean said...

~d: hell, I'll pay. You girls have fun now, hear?

No running in the halls.

O'Brien: I want to be in charge of the skinnydipping.

Anonymous said...

Hmmmmm.....what do we have to do to earn badges???

Anonymous said...

Oops....that last comment about earning badges was me....DogsDontPurr. For some reason, Blogger doesn't want to play with me tonight.

Mone said...

I guess we can leave the bible at home... or I could use it to spank somebody with it, not to hard of course.

Erin O'Brien said...

Pocket: A macaw will fly by your house and drop an aspirin-sized tablet on your front porch. Swallow it and wait.

~d: hearts!!

Sxk: Camp Erin is free. All we expect is enthusiastic participation.

~d: You girls are just the sort of campers we're looking for!

Pammy: You're in.

Dean: Done. And you get to wear a cap and a whistle!

Dogs: Badges are awarded based on enthusiasm. Be enthusiastic!

Mone: Very, very nice. This is just the sort of creativity that Camp Erin is all about.

CheekierMeSly said...

Don't forget to encourage special human Erin camp tricks! I think mine would be to whistle and hum at the same time during special friend time, adding in a side of the arms tied behind the back action billed for later in the day. Or am I being too greedy in multi-tasking?

Trée said...

Tell me you are bringing the rubber gloves and I'm in.

brookelina said...

Nina Simone and mimosas. I'm in.

jungle jane said...

My word...someone in that tub ate beans for breakfast...

zen wizard said...

The Chattanooga Motel 6 with the weekly rate is looking real good, all of a sudden...

Erin O'Brien said...

Cheek: I was thinking of adding a time slot for "Let's play tie-up." Guess I'll put you in charge of that activity.

Tree baby. If you want rubber gloves, we got rubber gloves.

Brook: Good. Your bunk's all ready.

JJ: Good point. We're going to need a rule board. #1 will be "no poofing in the hot tub."

Zen: When does a hot pillow motel NOT look good?

Badger said...

Sorry about the beans.

Erin O'Brien said...

Badger! Go to your room!

Badger said...

Are you not going to spank me first for being a very very bad boy.

Erin O'Brien said...

Badger? Please, please, please change your avatar.

Please??

jamwall said...

Hey, what about the Baggies and rubber bands? You know I can't polish it down without that stuff.

Ritardo said...

don't forget the Ben Gay

Ben said...

I'll bring sunscreen (enough for everyone) and a camera to send photos of the fun back home.

Can we make Smores?

~d said...

Can we let Mone spank Badger with her bible?

Dan said...

Noon doesn't work for me. And, instead of yoga watching, can I experiment with over-the-counter cold medicine and vodka at 3?

I know. "Don't be that kid." And, I don't expect special treatment. I just had a bad experience with yoga, and I've found it to be almost as hard on the knees as the Catholic religion.

Hope Dangling said...

i'm headed yer way with my sleeping bag and beer...

Thomas said...

I've been to a camp much like this one, though I think they used the words "fetish convention." I think it might be more effective to have "Dark Practice" later in the evening when it's actually dark. It adds to the ambiance.