Monday, June 18, 2007

Today while the blossom still clings to the vines

My right eyelid was horribly swollen when I woke up this morning. No idea why.

Go to my MySpace page and read the latest comment by tate III allan john waroc seizer.

I'm mad at Steve McQueen again. He posted/linked Fourty* Ways Women Fail in Bed. Here is a sample from that mighty list:

12. LACK OF MAINTENANCE: Never ask a man if he likes your body as you will force him to lie. Men don't like fat chicks. Get in the gym and lose some weight and tighten those buns and thighs. here* is no such thing as the perfect body. 99.6 per cent* of men say that even Christy, Elle, Naomi et al could still lose a few pounds -so what chance have you got?

What an effing cheezdick.

*Cheezdick's spelling and grammar, not mine.

Happy Monday and I love you,

Erin.

24 comments:

Jim Winter said...

"Men don't like fat chicks."

Stupid men don't like fat chicks.

Stupid men like vapid, self-absorbed plastic dolls who are high maintenance.

If it stepped off the cover of Cosmo, I don't trust it.

jungle jane said...

Men might not like 'fat chicks' but i doubt they would turn down ramapant sex with them...

Ken Houghton said...

Am I wrong to think that the entire list is meant to be a joke, or at least a channeling of Seth Rogen?

jungle jane said...

I thought Cheezdick was quite funny. ..

Erin O'Brien said...

I have left a comment over at Mr. Cheezdick's place. Perhaps he will drop on over here and say hello and explain himself--if he's not busy ejaculating in some lucky little strumpet's mouth, that is.

PocketCT said...

That is a man who so obviously has never been in love. Consummately not-sexy.

Steve said...

Hey Erin

A joke is a joke. If you can't take it for what it is, oh well. Ever seen the women's and men's remote control? Same thing. Just a joke. Not everything is meant to be taken seriously. At least I don't take them seriously. But, it sure as hell would not be the same if everyone thought my way.

Cheers.

Erin O'Brien said...

Than a joke it is, my good Steve, as was my calling you an effing cheezdick (I don't really think your member is made out of cheez).

You're welcome here anytime.

Sincerely,

Mrs. Erin E. O'Brien

Erin O'Brien said...

Wait.

Now I'm confused. I thought the above Steve authored the 'fourty ways' but now I see that the above Steve is probably Steve McQueen, with whom I am secretly and madly in love and whom I also do not believe possesses a member constructed of cheez.

Erin O'Brien said...

As far as jokes are concerned, I did read most of the associated 'fourty ways' and yes, I believe they were authored in jest.

But whenever you have a joke at someone else's expense, you risk getting called names, such as an effing cheezdick.

I believe the reason my eyelid is swollen is an insect bite I fielded in my sleep. It has me bedaffled in general and I can't think, so I'm going to assume a vapid expression and do housework for awhile.

Erin O'Brien said...

Please leave encouraging comments.

help.

Erin.

Steve said...

Erin

That was me above there - somewhere. I forgot to leave my web address. Anyway, cheezdick, eh? I guess I will get used to that one as well. No worries - I am not worried about the slams that come my way. I seem to be pushing the envelope a little these days. Get a load of my new post. The Christians are after me now. Oh and my youngest daughter thanks you for the cheezdick name. She called me from school and signed off with "See you later cheezdick." I have to talk to her teacher about computer use during class hours.

Love you too, Sweetheart.

Erin O'Brien said...

If it makes you feel any better, Mr. McQueen, I had to explain this to my 10-year-old, who ran across it by accident.

Sorry about the Christians.

About your daughter, I think it's a good thing to have a certain mystique, Mr. McQueen, particularly one that garners the interest of one's children, who are generally bored to tears with What The Senior Generation Is Up To. And to be fair, you have plenty posts over at your place that could raise a daughter's eyebrows.

Erin O'Brien said...

Can we all just kissy-kissy and be friends?

Steve said...

Awfully sorry for the misunderstanding. I was very amused at my daughter's remark. She said it in fun, and I took it the same way. I was never angry at your remarks. Far from it. I quite understood way you came from. I show my kids the non-ladies posts -some raise their hairs, and some get them to laughing. Yes, they know good old Dad quite well. And when I said "Love you Sweetheart", I meant "Love you Sweetheart". Alrighty then?

josh williams said...

Check out JW's Avatar on my space, remind you of anyone?

emmapeelDallas said...

Sheesh, it's been my experience that most guys are just so frigging GRATEFUL to see a woman naked...and btw, I've personally never been kicked out of bed for being curvy...

Judi

Hal said...

I was relaxing after a long hard day on set, throwing back an ice cold one, and some pretzels...

Then I read this...

It will take me at least half of tomorrow - my day off - to clean the spittle and such off my monitor.

It was that funny...

As was the spam email I JUST got that was titled, "Everyone wants to fuck the babysitter."

Erin O'Brien said...

aw shucks. all's well that ends well.

erf!

Doug said...

Well, it's humor, but it's humor built on mysogyny. Did I spell that right? Too lazy right now to look that up. Anyway, that sort of stuff reminds me of Sam Kinison's shtick, which I never did like. It's a little too hateful to be humorous.

hoppy said...

i post pics of nearly naked models because they command attention.

nobody would read my posts
if it didn't.

fyi, you are soooo beautiful to me.

Badger said...

Well clamato fountain (let me apologise for calling you that). If you go to http://myhotbox.blogspot.com/
You will see that it was posted by a woman. I just copy and pasted it as bad girl has many of my posts. I just didn't give her credit for it as she doesn't with mine. No big deal we are online friends.

if he's not busy ejaculating in some lucky little strumpet's mouth, that is.
.

Geesh, if that isn't misogynistic I don't know what is. You do realise that strumpet was the Victorian term for slut. So what you are saying is any woman who lets a man ejaculate in her mouth is a slut and lucky to experience the privilege. Well I have had the privilege of ejaculating in a few womens mouths in my lifetime (and I did consider it a privilege), I however do not know if they considered it one. I believe they were doing their upmost to please me as I was doing my best through my actions to please them.

Over sensitivity does not suit you Erin. You are a very accomplished writer, just recognize humor when it comes around. Oh and by the way my cheese is a very mild cheddar. Not offensive at all. At least that is what the strumpets tell me.

Erin O'Brien said...

Darling Badger,

Well, well, well. So you go and have some laughs at the expense of all womankind and that's okay. But I have a couple of laughs on you and voof! Look what a kerfuffle I get.

Thank you for the compliment by the way (about the writing, not about the menstruation).

"So what you are saying is any woman who lets a man ejaculate in her mouth is a slut and lucky to experience the privilege."

Baby, I didn't say that, you said it. Please don't put words in my (ahem) mouth.

Erin O'Brien said...

Hey Hoppy--

***thanks***