Thursday, August 17, 2006

Mammoth Cave, Part One

Author's note: Those who know me know I am inclined to say "erf." It is my word. I made it up. It is a nonsensical erin word. Erf means erf.


I like erf. Erf is like a furry little pet. It is impossible not to like erf. Erf is good. I encourage everyone to imbue their lives with a little bit of erf.

Now then, onto the meat of this post.

I am walking through Mammoth Cave. I am in awe. The rooms of the cave have 60-foot ceilings. And impossible rock walls. I am walking through spaces where prehistoric men dwelled, where slaves labored, where men died and tuberculosis patients languished in stone huts. I am beside myself with sheer amazement.

"I'm moving in," I say to no one. "I'm going to live in Mammoth Cave. I'll wear animal skins. I'll chew on bear fat."

"You can be a living exhibit," says the woman in front of me.

"Brilliant!" I say. "Pastoralia!"

"Pastoralia?" she says.

"Nevermind," I say.

"I'll create pictographs," I say. "My husband can drag me by my hair."

"You can change your name to Wilma," says the woman. "And your husband will be Fred."

"Yes!" I say.

"No!" retorts my nine-year-old daughter, dead serious. "When the people come by, yell 'Erf!'" Her eyes shift left, then right. She lowers her voice. "They'll think you're attacking."


Bernardus Sylvestris said...

Well, what can I say?
Erf!and again erf!!

josh williams said...

I like Mammoth cave,dry county last time I visited...Unspeakable hardship.

Bostick said...

Hi Erin I am reading your blog, Thanks, I was wondering where you were today, usually you look my way. Everything I post is for you. If you laugh I know I am doing my job.

P.S. I am not hitting on you or anything like that maybe..

n said...

hey you'd never have to think about unwanted bikini hair. Your daughter is as funny as you are.

~d said...

ERF! Erf. hahaha. ERF. I love erf.
I am reading an amazing book-its got so much raw emotion that I cannot gobble it up as I do my mind candy books I usually read.

Bring me a:

jamwall said...

ever fantasize of barney rubble dressed like a school girl?

me neither..

Henri Banks said...

oh yes i want to see ya i a animal skin!!!

but what the heck is an ERF?

Henri Banks said...


Bobby Farouk said...

I did not love Pastoralia. It was pretty good, but I did not love it.

Bobby Farouk said...

Second thought: Grant B. is better than Saunders.

gretchenhr said...

I've often thought that I was born in the wrong century. I fantasize about living in the age of Jane Austen novels. I don't know why... Nonetheless, I don't think Erf would go over well in that age. But for today, it sounds great! I LOVE what your daughter said. So creative and mischievous!

Jesus Toast said...

When I was a kid, one of the only vacations I ever went on was when my grandparents took me to Mammoth Cave. I don't think I've even thought about it again until just now reading your post. How odd. A whole flood of memories forgotten. Thanks Erin.

Want head?

Toby said...

Quest for Fire

Jozee said...

Ahh, you're at a very good stage in motherhood. Enjoy it!

Bostick said...

"clan of the cavebear" was a good one

sleepydog said...

Erin, I am going to use the word "Erf" gratuitously today and give you full on props.

You seem like you're one of those "cool" moms, I'll bet your kids friends are green with envy.

I like your blog, I stop by every day now.

Erin O'Brien said...

Mr. Sylvestris: Say? Don't say anything. Throw me a rope and get me out of this blasted dinosaur mouth!

JW: still dry. no matter, tho, we brought whiskey

Bostick: Believe me, baby, you are doing your job. You are SO doing your job.

n: I never thought of that. No Nair Down There. Added benny.

~d: I'm coming over and bringing a rhodedendrun.

Jam: think about it: Fred and Barney were in mini-dresses all the time.

Henri: I love caveman Henri. I want to see me in your skin, baby.

Farouk: Grant B. is better than a lot of things. So are you.

gretchen: I agree. No erf and Jane Austen. Just doesn't jive. I don't know about all the clothing they had to wear back then. An animal skin bikini, now that's freedom!

JT: You are welcome. Yes.

Toby: Quest for Toby!

Jozee: These are the days, don't I know it.

Bostick: Yeah, okay, but what was the one with Ringo Starr?

Erin O'Brien said...

Sleepydog: I am going to say "sleepy dog" to every person I meet today.

They will think I'm weird. I don't care. I am weird.


Bugwit Homilies said...

Erin: Great. Now I have to go read Pastoralia. Just throw it on the pile with the other books! ;-)

Dr Gno said...

Ringo Starr was ATOUK in CAVEMAN. I think there was an erf named erf in it too...Hmmm not sure....

Erin O'Brien said...

Bugwit: It's a great story. You will not be disappointed. Very funny.

Dr. Gno: Oh, you man of great intrigue and mystery. Welcome man of the night. I shall show you the secrets of erf!

Bugwit Homilies said...

Wasn't Shelly Long in that, too?

Toby said...

Oh man, the fires we would stoke.

Dr Gno said...

Erf away........

Libby said...

I feel a primal scream coming on..... no it was only an erf.

Erin O'Brien said...

Toby: erf.

Dr. Gno: erf.

Libby: erf.

Toby said...

She's on the attack! Run!

Erin O'Brien said...


~d said...

(boo-waa-hiss) did you take the pix away or is it my EFFING computer?!?

Alan states said...

I say "Oye" when I am annoyed. Dunno why. Feel free to adopt it for your new Star Wars, The VERY Beginning movie, set in The Cave.