I am surfing at my computer, looking for fodder for essays, blog entries, idiotic erin thoughts, etc. It is rainy and dreary. My dearly beloved is taking our daughter to day camp.
He returns and creeps up behind me. The gurgles and ululations he makes in order to indicate his desire for a conjugal visit ensue.
What of it? We've been married nearly 14 years. We're good at this. We know what to do. It works every time. No, dear reader, the trouble herein has nothing to do with my husband, his ululations or a conjugal visit.
The trouble is the site I had visited and closed just as he entered my office.
Click here if you dare.*
I follow him to the bedroom. Once there, for better or worse, I do what I have to do.
*I am hesitant to call this site pornography. Call it the sexual equivalent of drinking yourself sober. At some point, an image is so graphic that it ceases to be sexual at all. Is this site safe for work? Unless you work for a urologist, probably not. Does this site depict, with unapologetic accuracy, what approximately 50 percent of the chairs in the office hold? Absolutely.
Here is text taken directly from the site:
"Scrota Contra Vota" (2000-) is a form of radical political comment for 50 percent of the elective population.
Your scrotum counts!
Attention, male individuals (biological and/or gender)! Please undress and sit down on a flat bed scanner and scan your scrotum. Anatomize the hi-res JPEG to monochrom via email. As a form of protest, monochrom reserves the right to send these digital images to various public people of political interest.
From time to time we offer hygienic scan stations."
And from another of the pages associated with the site:
"at the moment i have forgotten if i am abraham lincoln or captain ahab – nonetheless i am an important figure in u.s. history.
anyway: this address is false, you landlubber, you confederate!"