1. Sadly, sometimes a person is better off succombing to the ravages of time. Don't believe me? Read this cautionary tale.
2. There are two items I neglected to include in my love/hate relationship post from a couple of days ago:
I hate Martha Stewart.
I love Jelly Belly jelly beans with unbridled passion.
3. We all know that StatCounter (or whatever hit-tracking program you use) is more maturbatory than actual masturbation.* Mine recently told me that someone found my site by googling, "'man farts during surgery." Okay, fine. God help me if I were judged soley by my Google searches. But I was hit 490 out of over 200,000 hits.
Hit 490, people!
I hope all that surfing was worth seeing this silly post (skim down to the Most Obnoxious Woman in the World part), which was the page that his Google search pointed to. Here was hit number one.
4. The square root of 182,329 is 427.
*Concept courtesy of Pen in Hand.
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22 comments:
The Jelly Belly distribution center is about 30 minutes from us in Pleasant Prairie, Wis., and yes Ma'am, they give daily tours!
I LOVE google.
Go there and type in asshole and then hit the "I feel Lucky" key (not the search key).
Penises, farts and Jelly Bellies. What could be better?
As far as Martha goes- for me.
I put her in the Madonna category (the singing one) I don't love her- but I've got to respect women with balls.
Stat counters are good for pinpointing lurkers and stalkers too. ;-)
The Jelly Belly plant is about 5 miles from me right now. Not only do they give daily tours, but you tour the plant on a choo choo train. You can buy huge bags of beans for cheap too.
Rush Limbaugh got caught with ilegal perscriptions again. He was nailed at an airport yesterday with viagra.
I've had some pretty strange searches on the ole stat counter too. Nothing as strange as yours though. One day a week or so ago I had about 20 hits all looking for Kellie Pickler. It was strange to have them all in one day and to never have another before or after. I searched the news thinking she died or something but couldn't find anything new about her.
A hallmark of a successful blog is that it keeps other people from doing their OWN thing!!!
I LOVE Martha Stewart because she, along with Grace Slick and Raquel Welsh are my only contemporaries whom I would screw!
....with whom I would copulate?
I would be interested in what the stat counter would pull up on me.
You post sounds as 'all over the place' like too much caffeine, too many thoughts...deep breath, Erin. In thru the nose, and out thru the mouth.
Dear Helen and Toby: Don't make me come over there!
kc: I have so very many legitimate reasons to type the word asshole, please, don't give me a recreational one.
Jozee: I totally agree. Broad's got a gleaming brass set.
toby: So ol' Rush needs a little help pickling his kellie? Oh, and might I add that "I hate Rush Limbaugh?"
Larry: That is one remarkable triumvirate: Slick, Welsh and Stewart. This, sir, I deeply respect.
~d: You are so right. I am running around like an idiot. No fear. Regular erin-type posts to return shortly.
I call bullshit on item 4. You can't fool me.
Yep, ol' Rush was caught again. He said his name wasn't on the bottle to avoid embarrasment. He was let go pending the corroboration of his story.
I think being caught with leagal viagra would be less embarrasing than being caught with suspicious viagra.
http://edition.cnn.com/2006/LAW/06/27/limbaugh.viagra.ap/
I too hate that blow hard.
garrett: What doth thou find bullshitish? Is it the veracity of my mathematical assertion or the validity of its inclusion?
toby: I think we can all agree that he failed at avoiding embarrassment.
If I were judged based on my search engine hits for today...I would be:
a) fat lady eating cake
b) clam beard
c) tan lines ass
Yep...that's me alright.
Okay, Erin, google your asshole anyway and find out why Bush is "THE ashole."
C'mon, we may be looking at Gov. Blackwell soon....FUCK!!!
I just like to call bullshit. I'm embarrassed to confess I didn't have anything specific in mind.
BV: you are so effing brilliant, I cannot express my admiration.
kc: What an asshole! Time to move to the United States of Canada.
Mr. Garrett: Haven't we all learned something. Hm.
As beer is my witness I just looked at my stats, which I have not done for over a month. I graze for a moment and then click on your site to catch up and discover you have been controlling my mind!
Which is good news. It means its all your fault, I'm still the innocent lad I remember...Thanks Erin you enable me JW
if only i could post and play with my stat counter at the same time
1. Crikey
2. No Jelly Belly beans down here :(
3. I heart Google and my stat counter thingy, but oh. my. god. the perverts who end up getting my site in their listings who are searching for old lady porn. Interestingly, a whole lot of them are from the middle east. Go figure.
I'm kind of proud though in a weird sort of way, that if you google apostrophe nazi, I'm first on the list! :D
I just do not understand the google stat thing and what pulls up you and stuff.
Crap! Too many kids running around my ever-shrinking home.
(is 10:30AM too early for a xanax?!)
I cursed the little one-eyed monster, for having such a mind of his own. Then, one day, I met a man who couldn't get soft...
Yes, it is truly a cautionary tale.
JW: It's working! It's working!
Mush: Yes, learning to masturbate with one's left hand is tricky, but oh, so worth it.
Eve: AND you were the very first woman!
~d: I don't know about a xanax, but it's a great time for a martini.
zen: I like the way they refer to it in the article, almost like it's a crane.
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