Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Things that are true

When I worked for BP Oil as a staff engineer, I smoked. I smoked at my desk. Hence, I am one of the people who is old enough to say, "Remember when we could smoke at our desks?"

I have an expandable envelope called a coupon secretary. It is filled with .... coupons. Hence, I am one of those women who wastes your time as she fiddles with her coupons at the checkout when you are just wanting to pay for your six-pack and frozen pizza.

Someone found this post of mine by searching Yahoo (UK and Ireland) for "hirsute women in panties" earlier today. Hence, I am ... uh ... nevermind.

I am going out with one of my associates tonight. We are going to bottle beer. Hence, when I wake up tomorrow, I shall be able to say that I have filled beer bottles (I had heretofore only emptied them).

I floss daily, love my mom, and give good head.

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

any correlation between the flossing/good head?

Dongley Shlongford said...

She drinks, she curses, she gives head.
Here I have all this taxidermy backed up that I really should be getting to, yet I can't stop drawing maps of Polynesian island chains and thinking of Erin.

Erin O'Brien said...

anonymous: A healthy mouth is a happy mouth!

Dong: That your every comment is displayed next to that strap-on says something about the human condition, although I don't know what.

Toby said...

Speaking of people holding up lines, George Carlin once said about check writers, "will that be cash, or a major inconvenience for the rest of the line?"

When I was at the store yesterday the woman in front of me didn't put all 20 or so of her items on the belt thing. She handed them to the cashier one at a time and waited for the item to show up on the screen before she handed the next. What a freak. My grocerie store is so ghetto!

I take it your associate home brews? I have a few friends who used to and I've always wanted to. I even bought a couple books. I suppose one of these days I'll break down and buy the equipment.

Zen Wizard said...

It's funny how people query the strangest things and get to your page.

I sometimes feel guilty because I will give a negative review to some song or movie, and then someone will query it whom I can tell is a fan by the words in their query.

I think "hirsute women in panties" is what they call a "niche market," in the porn industry...some dudes sure are into it!

Vince said...

I don't even want to know what hirsute is...But I used to smoke at my desk too. In fact I still do (benefits of working at home baby.) Actually I drink and floss at my desk too. And eat, sleep, and get head at my desk. Sheesh, I need to get a life. I think I'll hop on my Harley and go scare some old ladies...

jungle jane said...

I would totally give good head if i could find a head that wanted some. i have quit smoking so really my mouth is just sitting about underutilised.

Paul said...

Coupons, bush overflow, and beer reversal? Are you trying to make me fall out of love? Oh wait...head. OK, forget what I said.

Toby said...

Dear Jane,

you are not looking in the right places.

Toby

Hal said...

Jane - I love how you Euro types use an "s" for words we Yanks use "z" for, like utilize.

Erin - After she reads this post, I'm sure your mom will be very proud.

PDD said...

Erin, your great attributes should make an appearance in your next novel under "about the author". Seriously.

josh williams said...

I am a former brewer gone to seed. I made during my career around 100 gallons of beer. What do I have to show for it? Things I said while sampling my efforts that after reflection do not make much sense.Come to think of it I dont need to brew to not make much sense... JW

Erin O'Brien said...

Toby: We could make beautiful beer together.

Zen: I visited the associated search page. Hirsute women in panties isn't as niche a market as you might think.

Vince: I'm coming over to your desk. Sounds like a happening place.

Jane: See Toby.

Paul: I lose you, I get you back. Will you ever make up your mind, darling?

Toby: See Jane.

Hal: See my mom.

PDD: Perhaps I'll use my attributes in order to GET published.

Josh: You make perfect sense to me, darling.

Karen Little said...

You are multi-talented... and quite old. shame about the hirsutism, though.

Toby said...

I need a doctor.

Erin O'Brien said...

Karen: Not sure I can take you too seriously. After all, you're a mermaid.

Toby: I'll heal what ails you, baby.

Toby said...

Let's see, where shall I begin? First and foremost, I have a...