Cleanbutt

Where do I begin?

I'll start with some of my favorite quotes from the associated pages:

"Deodorizer: Automatically starts operating when you sit down and stops approximately one minute after you stand up."

"Warm air dryer: An adjustable warm air dryer provides the ultimate in relaxing luxury."

"Massage Wash: During the posterior or feminine wash, the adjustable pulsating stream of water helps stimulate the area improving blood circulation and provides a more delightful and calming spa kind of experience."

Relaxing luxury? Improving blood circulation? Calming spa kind of experience? Is that what they're calling it these days?

And what about the name?

Imagine a bunch of guys sitting around a conference room table, ties loosened, sleeves rolled.

"It's a brilliant idea Farnwarth," says The Boss, "A do-it-yourself auto-asswash for broads. Broads are always worrying about their asses."

His minions smile and nod at the sheepish Farnwarth.

"But what should we call it?" asks The Boss.

The smiles dissolve. They furrow their collective brows and pinch the bridges of their collective noses.

"Rectal Rinse?" offers one.

"Too clinical," says The Boss.

"Cleft Clear? says another.

"What clear?" says The Boss.

"Auto Blunge?" says yet another hopefully.

"I like it," says The Boss, "but it's too industrial for broads. Broads don't like industrial. Particularly when it comes to their asses."

They tap fingers. They look down. They clear throats.

Finally, the timid Farnwarth says, " ... mmm ... Cleanbutt?"

"That's it!" exclaims The Boss. He leans back in his chair. His lips curl into a smile, eyelids close to slits. "Farnwarth," he says, "I like the way you think."

Whether or not said sublime wonder is worth $549 is something you can decide for yourself: Cleanbutt.com