IM thread courtesy of your humble hostess and her trusted associate, Bailey.
O'Brien: Hey Bailey?
Bailey: Yeah, O'Brien?
O'Brien: What is the texture of a woman's mouth like?
Bailey: A woman's mouth? Why do you ask?
O'Brien: Just curious.
Bailey: Possibly an understatement.
O'Brien: What's that supposed to mean?
Bailey: Go ask Ann Curry.
O'Brien: She cut her hair, you know.
Bailey: And would you still wash it?
O'Brien: Of course I would still wash it.
Bailey: That’s a line from a favorite song of mine. “She cut her hair and I stopped loving her.”
O'Brien: Bailey, what the eff are you talking about?
Bailey: Sorry. What were you asking again? Got sidetracked on the hair/song thing.
O'Brien: I'm not talking about her hair, Bailey, I'm talking about her mouth, the texture of her mouth.
Bailey: Smooth, I guess. Though who knows? Maybe Ann Curry's mouth feels like corduroy.
O'Brien: No way does Ann Curry's mouth feel like corduroy.
Bailey: Maybe her lips make a vwipping sound when she kisses.
O'Brien: Vwipping? No vwipping. Mouth texture, Bailey, mouth texture.
Bailey: I dunno. What is the texture of a man's mouth like?
O'Brien: It's like a mouth. Teeth, tongue. Lips.
Bailey: I am pretty sure a woman's mouth has these same features.
O'Brien: But I'm not talking about features. I'm talking about texture. I'll bet a woman's mouth feels way different than a man's.
Bailey: I bet it does. I bet it feels a lot less like corduroy.
O'Brien: Hm …
Bailey: Let's ask someone who has kissed both.
Bailey: I don’t know. Not me.
O'Brien: Not me either.
Bailey: Not you yet.
Bailey: How about Complete Game?
O'Brien: Hey, I know. What about posting the question on my blog?
Bailey: Sure. Why not? Someone in that orgy ought to know.
O'Brien: Then that's what I'll do. And I shall reference you as the impetus. I might even use this effing thread!
Bailey: But this shirt makes me look fat. Edit it so that I am typing in a different shirt. Something slimming.
O'Brien: Stop acting like a girl, Bailey.
Bailey: Okay, fine. But if you do use this thread, make sure you cut out that one part.
O'Brien: Which part?
Bailey: You know which part. The part about the whipped cream and the hip-waders.
O'Brien: Absolutely. Consider it cut.
Bailey: And the part with that elaborate pulley system I told you about.
O'Brien: Won't mention a thing about it.
Bailey: And that thing I have for Whammo stuff.
O'Brien: You can trust me.
O'Brien: Of, course, Bailey. I'm stunned you should even think to ask twice.