"If Rally Caparas comes here and wants to have sex, it's pretty much a done deal," I say to the television, from whence the Weather Channel is broadcasting the Travel Update.
"Ol' Rally made it to the short list, did he?" says my husband from behind the newspaper. "What if there's a logistical miscalculation and he comes here when I'm home?"
"You can go for a nice walk," I say.
"Mmm-hm." He yawns, folds up the Metro section and picks up the business section.
Obviously, my husband is not intimidated by the short list, a term he coined that represents my list of fantasy men. I don't know why he is so unconcerned. No collection of Brad Pitts and Ben Afflecks will you find here. No, no. This group is populated by illustrious sexpots such as meteorologists and local mechanics and, admittedly, a few token movie/tv/rock stars.
Here is the complete short list as of November 2005 in no particular order:
1. Rally Caparas
2. Bob Woodruff
3. James Carville
4. The Guy Who Works at Midas Muffler
5. That One Stilt Performer Guy from the Parade Last Summer
6. Jim Cantore
7. Anthony Kiedis
8. Vincent D'Onofrio
9. George Clooney
10. Antonio Banderas
And then there is (purrrrrrrr) these two guys:
11. The Dirty Jobs guy and
12. The Scrubs guy.
I am not delusional. I realize that my chances with The Guy Who Works at Midas Muffler (whose embroidered name patch said "Vince") and That One Stilt Performer Guy from the Parade Last Summer may not be all that good, but they are infinitely better than my chances with, say, Antonio Banderas or George Clooney. And am I wrong to believe that setting your sites on a travel forecaster glitters with some vague hope of possibility?
So, Rally baby, if you've got your ears on, drop me an email.