Friday, November 11, 2005

The short list

"If Rally Caparas comes here and wants to have sex, it's pretty much a done deal," I say to the television, from whence the Weather Channel is broadcasting the Travel Update.

"Ol' Rally made it to the short list, did he?" says my husband from behind the newspaper. "What if there's a logistical miscalculation and he comes here when I'm home?"

"You can go for a nice walk," I say.

"Mmm-hm." He yawns, folds up the Metro section and picks up the business section.

Obviously, my husband is not intimidated by the short list, a term he coined that represents my list of fantasy men. I don't know why he is so unconcerned. No collection of Brad Pitts and Ben Afflecks will you find here. No, no. This group is populated by illustrious sexpots such as meteorologists and local mechanics and, admittedly, a few token movie/tv/rock stars.

Here is the complete short list as of November 2005 in no particular order:

1. Rally Caparas

2. Bob Woodruff

3. James Carville

4. The Guy Who Works at Midas Muffler

5. That One Stilt Performer Guy from the Parade Last Summer

6. Jim Cantore

7. Anthony Kiedis

8. Vincent D'Onofrio

9. George Clooney

10. Antonio Banderas

And then there is (purrrrrrrr) these two guys:

11. The Dirty Jobs guy and

12. The Scrubs guy.

I am not delusional. I realize that my chances with The Guy Who Works at Midas Muffler (whose embroidered name patch said "Vince") and That One Stilt Performer Guy from the Parade Last Summer may not be all that good, but they are infinitely better than my chances with, say, Antonio Banderas or George Clooney. And am I wrong to believe that setting your sites on a travel forecaster glitters with some vague hope of possibility?

So, Rally baby, if you've got your ears on, drop me an email.


_gentle said...

I've always thought Jim Cantore was too cute to be a weatherboy

PDD said...

Bob Woodruff looks like he's 'practically lactating'. He's By far the most disgusting of all of them. If I had to choose from the people included on this list, it would have to be Dirty Jobs Guy, but with my eyes closed. And of course, George Clooney, but that goes without saying.

How about Edward Norton? He is delicious beyond belief.

Oh and, Adrian Brody, even more delicious.

Anonymous said...

My husband always rolls his eyes when I refer to my "top 5".

1. Jakob Dylan
2. Edward Norton
3. Jim Cantore (mike bettes is a close second)
4. Patrick Dempsey
5. Wentworth Miller (the most recent addition)

FLAMINGO1 said...

Brad Pitt is dreamy.

Anonymous said...

I too have my list going, always open to adaptation. When you are busy with work, life, raising kids, etc, you have to have a way to remember that you ar still a living, breathing human with hopes, (crushes), and dreams!

FLAMINGO1 said...

I find your #5 intriguing. Would you have him keep the stilts on? That would be hot!

PDD said...

If I were a lesbian, I'd fuck Jeneane Gerafalo.

PDD said...

Pinky, if you were gay who would you do?

FLAMINGO1 said...

Wow, that is a tough question to which I have never given extensive consideration - other than to say that Brad Pitt is dreamy.

I love movies by John Wayne, Clint Eastwood, Johnny Depp and Brad. But which one would make a good lover? Additionally, what am I looking for in a male sex partner? Would I prefer him well endowed or would that just cause more pain? Do I want a rugged man like John Wayne or Clint Eastwood or a more metrosexual guy like Depp or Pitt? Sensitive, tender and caring or "get right to business"?

When I examine all these questions and accord them the serious analysis they so richly deserve, my final answer would have to be Leonard Nimoy - while wearing the Vulcan ears.

PDD said...

Good answer! Now you've got taste!

PDD said...

And if his larry is as warped as his ears you can call that pleasure beyond the galaxies.

PDD said...

or years.

Shelli said...

I can see the Bob Woodward thing. His eyes are beautiful. But add Keith Urban and Dierks Bentley

Andreina said...

Vincent D'Onofrio??????

Erin O'Brien said...

D'Onofrio plays that one (purrrrrrrrr) cop on "Law and Order: Criminal Intent." There is a very sexy male lover in my novel. Whenever I would write a scene with him, I would imagine D'Onofrio playing the part. Hop on over here for an taste.

Omar said...

Damn! I didn't see "Big" Omar nowhere on that list? What gives, my little snow bunny?

Shawn said...

James Carville? I dont know why but he scares me and not in a good way.

Doug Hoffman said...

You have eclectic tastes, O'Brien. No doubt about it.

Didn't D'Onofrio play the creepy guy in The Cell? Eeew. No, make that eeeeeew. And don't forget the guy in Full Metal Jacket, either.

Sherri-Berri said...

Not only do you have Jim Cantore and Vincent D'Onofrio(OMGdrool) on your list...

...but you added Mike Rowe(Dirty Jobs). Did you see the episode when he was in the bubble bath? Faboo.

I have to make you cookies.