Showing posts with label realdoll. Show all posts
Showing posts with label realdoll. Show all posts

Friday, March 28, 2014

Rainy day redux, vol. two: who pays thousands for lifelike RealDolls?

From 2006 through 2009, I was a regular pop culture columnist for the now defunct Cleveland Free Times. The following "Rainy Day Woman" column ran on May 30, 2007. 

Guys and Dolls

RealDoll is one part sex, one part Madame Tussaud attraction, and one part Barbie, a life-size, anatomically correct silicone doll that weighs between 85 and 115 pounds. She is manufactured by Abyss Creations, which ships about 400 units per year, mostly within the US. The privilege of her company costs $6,500 to $10,000, with customizations going as high as $50,000.

Owners of the eerily realistic dolls are the butt of jokes and the subjects of unsolicited psychological analysis and feminist soapboxes worldwide. Nonetheless, RealDoll fascinated me and I smoldered with curiosity about those who admire her.

Abyss is fiercely protective of its client list, but referred me to an online doll forum, wherein over 19,000 members talk all doll, all the time. I opened an account, introduced myself as an interested writer and began asking questions. The exchange that ensued was jaw-dropping.

Rules of conduct are prominently posted on the home page. The first forbids pedophilic discussions. Derogatory statements about other members and those demeaning women are also not allowed. The rules are adjacent to ads that feature photos of phalluses, dolls, lubricants, etc. The synthetic vaginas, either on dolls or amputated torsos, bothered the hell out of me. I don't know why. Perhaps because they were so symmetrical and colorless and well-behaved.

Things started off well enough. Men told me they love the beauty of the dolls. They dress, pose and photograph them and pretend they are real. Some enjoy the feeling of sleeping next to someone. Most agreed that the sex is not as good as the real thing. Members are married and divorced. Some are virgins, at least with real women. Many have difficulties with relationships.

Then things got ugly. I was labeled a troll, there to bash and vilify doll owners like so many other writers had done in the past — if I was a writer at all. I posted links to my home page and published articles. They were promptly ridiculed. Then a member asked me some questions.

"Do you want to have sex with a doll? How would you feel if your husband bought a doll so much more beautiful and sexually attractive than you could ever be and began having sex with it on a regular basis, leaving you to look in the mirror at your middle-aged body with stretch marks, menopause rushing in on you." The barrage went on and on. Then I garnered a few hang-up calls as the online badgering continued. Enough was enough. I excused myself from the exchange. "Aloha!" cheered one member.

Then I discovered that the troubling questions had come from a woman who owns a female doll. The revelation stunned me. And research proved previous journalists had indeed been one-sided and unprofessional. When other members deplored the treatment I'd gotten and urged me to tough it out, I did, concealing my emotions with varying degrees of success.

Logging on each day filled me with trepidation over what new post or private messages awaited me. I learned only to expect surprises. One came from a member who loved painting portraits but no model was patient enough for him. "A lifelike doll seemed the ideal solution. However, when she arrived, I was so taken with her realism that I automatically became fond of her." As I sighed for Pygmalion and his lovely Galatea, another member yanked away the fuzzy-blanket moment. "I do not sleep, cuddle or talk to [my dolls] and consider them more as prostitutes or willing photographic models and lastly as an interactive sculpture, no more."

Then there was this: "I love my dolls and I talk to them all the time. Every one I know or talk to knows about my dolls. Even my 5-year-old wants to have a tea party with them."

The lengthy thread was peppered with comments that infuriated me. "They keep their legs closed unless you want them open, which typically is not a trait of women after the first year of a relationship." I read this as the graphic at the top of the page offered up yet another spread-eagle torso, conveniently crafted to sit atop any table. "Real girls get old, gray, fat, full of wrinkles," added another member as a pocket vagina ad flashed at me. "They never talk back," quipped another member about the dolls. "I can find my credit cards. My checking account stays balanced. They never ask to drive my truck. They don't eat much." This was punctuated by a laughing emoticon.

Ha.

A few mirthless snorts later, I read this: "You do everything for [the dolls]. You must protect them from damage, repair any damage, bathe, clothe, and move them everywhere they need to go. Imagine a wife that has become a quadraplegic. Would it be right not to love her?"

The doll owners endeared me most when they talked shop on threads other than mine:

"Please, can you tell me what to use to make a mold of boob and what type of material to use to make boob realistic?"

"If I had to do it again I would have gotten a B7. You don't hear me complaining about B6, not at all. Her body is great, and her boobs are too. But I like a little bit more chest, something a B7 provides."

"Mix batch of silicone repair kit — enough to fill vagina half way or more (add pink color if you like pink inside). Insert mold to get a depth reading. Mark at labia or just below. Remove mold and coat entirely with release agent "

Hold that thought, boys, while I get another beer.

"Feeling this way about an inanimate object concerned me and I consulted a therapist who finally convinced me that there was nothing wrong with me, it's just something that society doesn't understand."

"I'm still a virgin with real girls. Soon, I'll be visiting a high-class escort girl to lose that title."

"I am the guy that all he ever wanted was a wife, kids, dog, cat, little house in the 'burbs and a station wagon. But after I passed 40, I was older than I ever wanted to be to start a family."

"Some [of us] were hurt in war and can't get a real girl."

The most stunning admission came from a member who was unable to engage in something humans have been doing ever since they figured out how.

"In the end I couldn't get over my hand. It just seemed dumb. I tried everything to make it work." He was unable to masturbate for 40 years. Forty years! He discovered the dolls. They appealed to him and he bought one. It worked. "The ability to engage in a natural human pastime has freed me I'm in a great space to date." But now he is terrified that potential girlfriends will find out about his secret. "I wish I could meet someone cool because I have so much to offer. I'm into monogamy, but someone has to realize that for me to give up the dolls is a huge sacrifice."

I went away hoping desperately that he would find his fair lady.

* * *

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Google me


For those of you who think you're crawling around the Internet like a stealth KGB operative because you've turned on the private surfing settings on your browser, please step out of the delusion cloud.

I am not a software guru. I am a Regular Person with a few humble Web pages. When I started them, it took about 10 minutes to figure out how to add a hit counter. What does it tell me? I can practically see your underwear.

Case in point: On June 17, 2007 at 1:11 p.m. EST, someone from the Halliburton Company whose server routes out of Houston, Texas Googled lifesize silicone men dolls. My online rant on Realdolls was hit number 11. During their 48-minute stay at my site, this visitor reloaded that entry six times.

Got Dick Cheney?

I've been running this here blog for more than five years and the associated pages, which number over 1600, are firmly embedded in the mysterious search engines of Google and Yahoo and the like. I'm not sure which is more disturbing, what people ask of search engines, or the fact that it brings them here.

That said, some of the queries fill me with pride. Welcome ye who seek the biggest breasts in Ohio and sexy human beings, and perfect labia. I am humbled that someone believes I hold the secret by which one may learn how to understand men and beat them. I hope they found what they were looking for at my place, but I doubt it. I couldn't write the supporting essay for that headline to save my life.

There are wholesome inquiries as well. People come to the Owner's Manual looking for fried spam and pickled turnips and family- style dining and hostess thankyous. I often blog about being a housewife and the associated tools of the trade. Hence, they come in search of Hoover wind tunnel repair manuals as well as sandwich fucked housewifes. Although I have never engaged in any sort of inappropriate behavior with a pastrami on rye, I appreciated the way Google politely asked he (or she) who was inquiring about the Girl-meets-Patty- Melt love story, "Did you mean sandwich fucked housewives?" If only Google could correct all of our errors.

A search query can endear me as well. I just plain like anyone looking for generic beer photo or perfect cunnilingus instructions or whispering sexy thin. And what's not to love about he who seeks Obrien lucky's auto bath or Abe Lincoln mullet or shocking beer can instructions? You guys get my vote. And if you're out there, did you find your dreams of foreplay in my story about an early-morning tryst with my husband? Did it make you smile, baby? Did it make you purr?

Should I take dry orgasm as a compliment or an insult? And I'll admit it, I am known for the Smack Your Own Ass! Feature during my live chats, but I have never posted anything that resembles a YouTube spanking.

Then there was this: family looking to buy human egg tall blonde 10,000. Family values, huh? Not only do I know what you value, I know exactly how much you value it. And what if the kid ends up short and brunette? Will you look at him or her and think: Damn. Sure didn't get my $10 grand's worth?

I hoped my presumptions were wrong, that the query was out of context and that 10,000 did not mean $10,000. Nonetheless, it made me sad.

Sometimes my hit counter reveals things I never wanted to know.




* * *

Friday, August 08, 2008

Thursday, May 01, 2008

Friday, June 08, 2007

Will the last Teddy Babe in the dollhouse turn out the lights, please?

One of the many things I didn't have space to cover in the Guys and Dolls piece was the plush doll phenomenon. Teddy Babes are big stuffed dolls with velour-like skin. I think they're adorable. If I was single and some guy shyly admitted that he sleeps with a big stuffed girl doll to keep him company, I'd think it was cute as hell.

Since I wrote the article and associated blog entry, it came to my attention that the Salon article I reference was actually mangled version of Meghan Laslocky's longer and more even-handed piece that ran in Salt Magazine. I was completely stunned at how Laslocky was edited in Salon. If you're out there Meghan, I'd love to hear from you, so would my readers.

Thanks to Josh Williams for his letter to the editor. To the others that wrote, many thanks. Those letters may still run and I shall link them if they do.

The doll owners had many things to say about the article. And I fielded these comments from "Davecat" (who pointed me to the unedited Laslocky article) as well:

"I had your article pointed out to me by a friend who's a member of the Doll Forum. When he mentioned it, frankly, I expected the worst: the members would see you as yet another invasive opportunist troll, which would result in yet another biased and judgmental article. But thankfully, that wasn't the case. Your piece was rather well-balanced, and it pretty much speaks for itself. Plus, the fact that you've left it open-ended is a refreshing change from the undercurrent of 'so that just goes to show you - doll owners are freaks' that a few of these sorts of pieces have.

I'm an iDollator myself; My RealDoll Sidore Kuroneko and I have been partners for about seven years; all my mates know about her and she's an incredibly important part of my life, with a status that goes far beyond 'sex toy.' I recognize the fact that she is a Doll; however, by virtue of the personality and history that I've given her, she goes from being simply a beautiful work of art, to being a lover and companion that's always there for me. And when you have a fascination with (read: lust for) female androids, combined with a history of either being in horrible relationships or none at all, a RealDoll certainly makes life less miserable. You can't put a price on that, really...

As I'm sure you've learned, iDollators run the gamut - there's a few archetypes, but there's no such thing as a bog-standard doll owner. There are owners that have their doll for purely sexual reasons, and there's owners that are 'married' to their artificial companions. There are owners that don't even give their dolls a name, and there are owners who don't even have sex with their dolls. Naturally that means there's many points in between. A rather varied spectrum, just like humanity in general."

And this came from another reader, "That was interesting this week, but I kind of felt like taking a long shower using a whole bar of soap afterward. Why is it grosser than, say an article on sex abusers? I guess because one of these guys could be my dentist, and someone could blow the whistle on him, and he'd still have his practice. (If I had one of those Stepford Wives, I'd show them who her man was). Stick to the funny stuff, please." He titled the email, "gross with a capital g that rhymes with p that stands for puke."

I'll be taking a break from dolls for a while, but I must admit that I'm thinking of buying a pair of Boobie Balls for "stress relief."



Teddy Babe photo courtesy of AVAV, which offers the following reference link.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Real dolls, real men, real Erin

Once in a wax museum, I got separated from my group and suddenly found myself alone in the gallery of dignitaries. Hillary and Bill, Desmond Tutu, Tony Blair and the likes were frozen all around me.

Each figure possessed a silent and unique point of view.

I looked from one to the next as a vague fear of the unknown washed over me. I shuddered against the eerie sensation; then hurried off to find other living people.

After I shook the chill, an epiphany bloomed: the lifelike nature of the wax figures imbued them with a presence that bordered on mystical. A new belief akin to superstition settled in me, and on that day my paradigm moved one click closer to the realm of voodoo.

Now shift gears.

If a room full of fully-clothed waxen people could cast a spell on me, what power does a beautiful photo have? Or what about a lovely doll? And if that doll is life-sized and anatomically correct, if she is a RealDoll, then what?

I had to find out.

Much has been written about RealDoll and her owner, but most of it is flat and predictable. Guys screwing big Barbies. Har-dee-har-har. Anyone can write that snarky story, including all the obvious one-liners that go with it.

"So, buddy, does that doll feel like the real thing?"

"What real thing?"

Or you can go the other easy route: Disgusted Feminist. This piece that ran in Salon* for instance, wherein the doll owners are depicted as sad social misfits or sickoes.

Nothing is ever that pat. Nothing. I knew there had to be more.

So for a few weeks, I immersed myself in a huge online doll community, the Doll Forum, in order to write something fresh and unique. The ordeal was stunning and exhausting. After a couple of drafts and discussions, my editor thought that my online experience was more interesting than the dolls, so that's what I wrote up.

Here is a link to the Free Times article.

As soon as I started asking questions, a hundred stories bloomed, some surprised the hell out of me. There were sympathetic stories amongst the doll owners, none of which were represented in the Salon story. My Free Times story is also insufficient. There were so many other things I could not cover: all the different kinds of dolls (including those not designed for sex), the range of attitudes towards real women, and the difficult logistics associated with sex with the dolls. That's just to name a few of the things that didn't make it into my final cut. Hence my article is not all-encompassing, but it is honest and (hopefully) balanced. It also talks about my emotions and reactions, yes, but it does not judge.


You can read the exhaustive discussion I had with the doll owners here. You might wonder why some of the quotes and references in the Free Times article are not there.

Simple.

Members and administrators were constantly going back to edit and delete comments, although nearly everything I quoted survived--at least since the last time I checked.

I took one hell of a beating at the Doll Forum (most of the bullying comments have been deleted--only after they were up for about ten days--plenty of time to do what they intended), but I stand by my method. I could have gleaned quotes from all over the forum and shaped the doll owners any way I wanted. But I didn't because that is manipulative at best and dishonest at worst. Instead, I stepped into the light, introduced myself with my real name and links, and solicited comments about dolls. Everyone knew they were "on the record."

To close, a few anonymous (and edited) comments from the Doll Forum:

"(My dolls) are respected companions. Because of my mystical beliefs, my dolls are also "spirit guides" or "guardian angels" who are always with me. This is a wonderful feeling. They often help me with important things. If I were ever to lose the dolls themselves, their spirits would still very much be with me."

"The body seven doll was molded from a real woman and I find access to Dolly's fudge shoot to be very easy from a standing position. I had to enlarge both the anal and vaginal openings by leaving in a wooden phallus for one week. I guess they could have moved the asshole after making the mold."**

"We all have thresholds beyond which we will not explore. Love dolls cross so many boundaries for a lot of people."

Every doll picture on this post was taken by the doll's owner. And yes, every pic includes dolls and only dolls. Here is another photo that is NSFW.

*That story was a mangled version of Meghan Laslocky's longer and more even-handed piece that ran in Salt Magazine. I have no idea how she felt about it, but when the longer article was pointed out to me, I was shocked and dumbfounded at how Laslocky was edited in Salon.

**This comment was part of an older post, one in which I had no participation.

I encourage letters to the Free Times editor Frank Lewis. Here is the email link. Be sure to include your full name and city.