Look at you sitting over there playing with yourself.
Cut it out already. Get off your duff. You need to come here and you need to come here soon.
Now I'll admit that this place is a bit rough in spots.
But on the bright side, it's not very crowded. In fact, you probably won't have to wait in any lines at all.
Here's the thing: sometimes you find the rarest gems in the least likely places. For instance, the Goat is standing in front of one of the oldest and ricketiest wooden roller coasters in the world.
Yes, you can still ride the Blue Streak. No you don't get anchored down with some thick metal yoke. You sit in a gondola and hold onto a bar. And when you go over the swells of this ancient beauty, you get old school air time. You either know what I'm talking about or you don't.
No, you will not feel safe.
Oh ferchirssake. That's a Tumble Bug and it's one of two or three left in the world. Get that? In the WORLD. For two bucks you can ride it yourself and hear it's old-man sounds and ride it's buxom swells.
This carousel is more than one hundred years old--almost as old as the Goat--and another two clams will get you the privilege of hopping onto that surreal bunny, or the llama, or the bear, or the sea dragon, or one of the traditional horses (candy ass).
Will you dig this Kiddieland sign? Talk about a nightmarish clown. This one was created before people knew what a nightmarish clown was. HELL YEAH.
Is there any doubt the non-operational Haunted House is actually haunted? I think not.
You walk around this place for a while and you'll want to take pictures of everything, including the defunct Round-Up.
People, this is a pretzel dark ride, which is also rare as hell. Again, no competent padded steel safety bars, just an old-time gondola with a bar across the front. You load in and scale a little hill, then get thrown around a crazy track with creep-o stuff jumping out of the utter blackness--all courtesy of gravity.
You have to smell it to believe it.
Another two bucks to take a blast through the Devil's Den. Or you can buy an all-day wrist band for $15 ($20 band includes unlimited rides on the Blue Streak.)
The water park is a little dry these days.
But this is what trying really hard looks like.
Admission, by the way, is free. Also, all of this glory is situated next to a magical place called Camperland.
Talk about your beautiful life.
Bye for now, Conneaut. I hope we both make it to next year.
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