Thursday, April 26, 2012

Last notes from the road

Welcome chicken at Brooks House of BBQ
Your LOW FLYING PLANES signs are a lot like your FALLING ROCK signs. What do I do if I get buzzed by a single engine Cessna? Maybe call Homeland Security and report a near-miss on a Mini Cooper.

Hey Napolitano, you got your ears on?

Bagged Chex Mix is a completely appropriate breakfast for on-the-go drivers. Why, with Chex cereal as the main ingredient, it's practically health food. Add a can of V8 for "a full serving of vegetables" and a chunk of beef jerky to round out your protein and there you go.

Sodium? What sodium?

It's a well-known fact that all sodium is removed from road food.

Of course I read this as FELON when I first saw it. I once knew a guy named Feston who was insufferable. My brother's novel The Assault on Tony's featured a character named Fenton.

I did not walk down Fenlon street.

Traveling 100 mph across Interstate 88 across New York at 7 a.m. on a Sunday morning is a god-given right.

Interstate 88 does not have highway walls. You don't realize how awful those things are until you travel a road without them and think, Oh yeah, this is why I like road trips.

I spied a bald eagle on Interstate 86 near exit 38 in New York (good luck trying to figure out when State Route 17 turns into I-86). He was just perched on top of a pole in what looked like a nest, although I wasn't sure. I'd never seen one outside of captivity before. Even from a distance, you could tell he was one serious mo fo.

Not everything in this ol' country is torn and frayed. 

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Contrary Guy said...

Highlights missed on that stretch of road... several hours of side-trip to Cooperstown off of 88, or Watkins Glen off of 17... Corning glass museum... the cheese shop in Cuba... not much more to see, really. Yeah seriously, between Corning and Erie PA the cheese shop in Cuba is what looks like a highlight. I wouldn't drive it 100 mph, it's a pretty empty bit of highway to blow a tire on.

Anonymous said...

I'm thinking the readership should just pay the fuel and maintenance fee on the Mini and set you out on the road. Steinbeck had "Travels with Charley" you could have "Travels with Goat." (Home school lil O'B for the win.)


DogsDontPurr said...

I am not a snacky person or a fast food person, but for some reason, when on a road trip, I become all of the above. Taco Bell? Gotta have it! Vending machines at rest stops? I'm on it! Chex mix? Check! Even those awful shrink wrapped sandwiches of questionable content that you can only get at gas stations? Delish!

It must be some sort of road trip vortex phenomenon.

alphadog said...

Beef jerky and sunflower seeds, more than this you do not need.

Anonymous said...

Off topic...
Dear Browns Fans. Help is on the way.

"Adding Richardson makes you wish training camp opened Monday. Here's a 5-foot-9, 228-pound running back who set an Alabama single-season rushing record of 1,679 yards for a team that won the national championship."
Cleveland Browns' deal to grab Trent Richardson is a stunning move that should thrill fans-Terry Pluto, Plain Dealer.


Erin O'Brien said...

RJ, this is Cleveland. We could land Jesus Christ on any given team and still end up as losers.

What sets us apart is that even when the Browns are dead-last in the standings, you can still go down to the stadium and find bare-chested guys drinking beer with their bellies painted brown and orange even though it's 10 degrees below zero.

Erin O'Brien said...

Since we're off topic, go on over to the sidebar and click the link associated with my Marilyn Monroe tweet. What an image! She's wearing cowboy boots!

Anonymous said...

Richardson is better than Jesus(besides the Jets already have him)


philbilly said...

Gas station burritos from the nuke for me, I carry Texas Pete's Hotter Hot Sauce in all my vehicles. Down South I go into a roadside
catfish-stand feeding frenzy until my innards demand salad.

Marilyn is perfectly framed by two magnificent oversized bulbous pnuematic truck tires on what appears to be an International Harvester. Both subjects built for the long haul.

Kirk said...

Erin, that picture was taken on the set of Marilyn's final movie, THE MISFITS. That's Montgomery Clift behind her.

Bill said...

The "Low Flying Planes" signs will soon have a new meaning for a lot of folks in the USA. Drones will soon be checking up on things all over the place. Do you think the operators of those unmanned things should be required to drug test?

Anonymous said...

@Erin-Jesus could help the team on a wet field...

When I look at that Marilyn pic all I see is the little girl. Look at that sassy stance and those sunglasses! I wonder who she was and how she grew up!

Hoodoo indeed...
xxoo MR

FINALLY! a Worthwhile WV: "gestfu" the arcane and secret martial art of fighting down roadside food like the 7-11 burrito and the eternally turning dogs...

Al The Retired Army Guy said...

Road Food: Usually I don't stop much if I'm driving by myself. With Julie and the dogs, we have to stop at a fast food joint (usually McDonald's, unfortunately, unless there's a Five Guys somewhere). We buy the dogs Happy Meals, and Julie and I usually suffer through the crappiest burgers on earth. Other than that, it's usually coffee/water/soda for me, with the occasional candy bar thrown in.

Browns: For once, in my lifetime as a Browns fan, I think there is some optimism. This draft got us an RB, a QB, and a tackle in the first two rounds. There are still a lot of holes in the team to be filled (like Wide Receiver), but I think Holmgren/Heckert and crew did a good job on this draft. It remains to be seen if any of the draftees will deliver, but I think this is the best draft, on paper, that we've had in a long time.

And yes, win or lose, you'll see all kinds of crazy folks, loyal to the Browns to the end downtown tailgating like Romans.