Tomorrow's Plain Dealer book section will feature The Irish Hungarian Guide to the Domestic Arts. You can preview the article here. In it, reviewer Donna Marchetti references my description of the alternative use of certain vegetables, then says, "I'll spare you the details."
Below is the excerpt to which she refers. It appears in the middle of my incomparable recipe for Hungarian cucumbers.
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We interrupt this recipe to bring you the following public service announcement:
Any consenting adult is duly encouraged to use any vegetable matter as a marital aid. Please carefully consider the following guidelines for a safe, convenient and enjoyable experience. Choose firm, high quality organically grown products. Wash vegetable matter first. Carving/peeling vegetable matter into realistic shapes can make the experience whimsical and more satisfying. Any person who has used the vegetable matter as a marital aid is welcome to consume the vegetable matter after a thorough washing (of vegetable matter). DO NOT, however, serve the vegetable matter in question to parties who are unaware of the vegetable matter's previous employ, no matter how thoroughly they have been washed. Said practice is considered uncool.
We now continue with your regularly scheduled recipe, already in progress. Thank you.
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The world needs more straightforward advice such as this. Why, it's as sensible today as it was for our great-great grandmothers (although "uncool" may have been outside their vernacular).
Thank you Cleveland Plain Dealer. Thank you Ms. Marchetti, and as always, thank you to the readership.
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