Tuesday, June 07, 2011

To hell with Weiner, give me Joe Namath in pantyhose

Prior to the Twitter kerfuffle, I knew nothing of Anthony Weiner and I'm not interested in him now. All kinds of people have been having all kinds of sex for a long time. So what?

That said, it's funny how the blood red rightie blogs out there are clamoring on and on about Weiner, but had little to say about that Nevada dandy, John Ensign.

When it comes to sex scandals, I stick to one of my cardinal rules: The Only Sex You Need To Worry About Is The Sex You're Having.

I am not completely mum on sex scandals. I wrote about Senator Larry Craig when that scandal broke. In fact, I wrote about him twice.

John Edwards also got my attention.

Yeah, yeah. This stuff has been going on forever. The righties can have their fun over some silly underwear pic. I'd rather dig Joe Namath in pantyhose in 1973. HELL YEAH!

66 comments:

Mike Lawless said...

Righties are always talking about Weiners....

Tony Rugare said...

Your cardinal rule, "The Only Sex You Need To Worry About Is The Sex You're Having" is a gem. Following it would get us all back to the world events going on or going to hell that really matter.

Al The Retired Army Guy said...

I hear Weiner lost the "battle of the bulge."

Weiner's going to start his own Hot Dog company. It's motto will be "Anthony's Weiners ... they stiffen when they're cooked!"

If he runs for Mayor in NYC, I'm sure he'll be up against some "stiff" competition.

Man, you just can't make this stuff up. And geez, I crack myself up sometimes.

Al
TRAG

Al The Retired Army Guy said...

Say, does this make Weiner a "member" of Congress now?

And the hits keep on coming .... ;-)

Al
TRAG

Vince said...

I'll tell you one thing woman you're doing something very wrong -yourself and himself- if worry about sex you're having is on your mind while attempting to remodel using your head and the headboard.
"The Only Sex You Need To Worry About Is The Sex You're *NOT* Having"

Dan said...

I love your cardinal rule! My question is whether it's a logical extension to say, "The Only Sex You Need To Worry About Is The Sex You're Having... or Not Having"?

Or is that the reason the RedReps are all over this - because Anthony W.* was just having more fun than they were?

* Had to write "Anthony W." because referring to him in any "Weiner" dirivative (Mr. Weiner? Representative Weiner?) with this twitter story out there is just reduces me to infantile giggles. Erin, just say it: "Oh, grow up, Dan!"

Erin O'Brien said...

Dear Lord,

Thank you for making everyone pay attention to the sex somebody is having instead of noticing that I misspelled Namath all over the place.

Love,

Erin

Erin O'Brien said...

To be honest, I find that those who aren't having a hell of a lot of sex are the ones worried about the sex someone else is having.

The question is, is someone else having the sex you're not having?

SEE? That's why I kept it simple.

Now then, somebody do something about Al's jokes.

Anonymous said...

A corollary: The only thing to THINK about is the sex you're having.
Mike R

Erin O'Brien said...

Dunno, Mike. I think a lot about the sex I'm not having.

Everyone, please stop confusing me. Go look at Joe Namath's pantyhose.

Anonymous said...

in re Al-you're keeping your promise to only post about food....

...Seriously, though, it is a shame we might lose Mr Weiner's voice in Congress. He provided deep, penetrating mental images while others merely jockeyed for position.
...His staff work was hard to beat...
...He believed in hands-on outreach...
...He was never circum-spect about whether a program was right-sized..
...As an attorney, he never shirked an oral argument..
Better, Erin?
Mike R

Lucy B. Martinez said...

Rachel Maddow had a great visual on last night's show. It was a grid, on which she placed all the politicians in-volved in 'sex' scandals in recent years. There were a few dems, Weiner, Spitzer, and the worst of the worst, that bastard, Edwards. Except for him, the only ones I give a hoot about are the damned hypocrites; you know, the family values guys: holier than thou, homophobic, pro-life (until the baby is born and then baby and mother are on their own). I hate, HATE hypocrites - and most of those, actually, all of those are repubes!! Shame!

Anonymous said...

Erin,
...In reference to sex scandals perhaps we should leave the word "cardinal" out.
Sincerely,
His Holiness the Pope

Lucy said...

Frankly, I've had a great time with Al's jokes, and Anonymous just had a good one, too. I firmly believe that the pun is the highest form of comedy, and to hell with you, if you can't take a joke. (Erin, babe, that wasn't directed at you or anyone in particular!) I'm seriously disappointed in Weiner, because he was outspoken and passionate about his progressive positions. Both he and Elliot Spitzer are brilliant men, but when it comes to their dicks, they seem to loose all of their brains!

Erin O'Brien said...

Lucy, this comment thread isn't big enough for all the brilliant men's dicks.

Anonymous said...

The cardinal's rules are don't drink all the communion wine and don't tell mom or dad

An Altar boy
dba Mike R

wv 'slych'...these puns'll make ya slych ya wrists...

Leslie Morgan said...

Those on the right side of the aisle are so repressed, so tightly wound, that when the next sex scandal comes along, they positively burst in paroxysms of delighted horror.

Wonder if Weiner will stand up and be counted?

Al The Retired Army Guy said...

@ Mike R: Two things ... I said I'd stop posting on politiics, and actually, I'm just making jokes here, so it's not politics per se, though the subject is an elected official. Second, yes, I will post on food when the occasion warrants it .... now, onto more jokes .....

I hear Weiner's secretary quit when he asked her to take dictation .....

What happens when you shake AW's hand? You get a fist full of Weiner.

Congressman Weiner took a call today ... it was Oscar Meyer ... he wants his reputation back .....

The scandal has AW so rattled, he's changing his name ... to Johnson. His first and middle names will be John Thomas, BTW.

FEDEX stopped at Anthony Weiner's house to deliver a package, but he said it couldn't be for him... he's already got one ....

This scandal has made Weiner's political career so much junk ....

Al
TRAG

Leslie Morgan said...

You know, a dictator is a cross between a penis and a potato.

Al The Retired Army Guy said...

Anthony Weiner's next career after he leaves office? A Private Investigator ... you know ... a private dick.

Al
TRAG

Al The Retired Army Guy said...

What's Anthony Weiner's favorite college football team? The University of South Carolina ... The Fighting Gamecocks.....

What's Anthony Weiner's favorite bird? The Cockatiel.

What's Anthony Weiner's favorite thing to drink? Cocktails, of course.

What did Anthony Weiner name his dog? Willie.

I should be a comedy writer.

Al
TRAG

Bill said...

1. Weiner did not have sex (maybe with himself? Gracias mano!)
2. Lucy, the night before Maddow explained how Weiners Twitter got hacked.
3. Nobody, right or left, hurt the Weiner. He did it to himself by trying to bs everyone.
4. The jokes are just too easy.

Anonymous said...

Good choice hostess. NO WEINERS ALLOWED! Joseph William Namath of BEAVER FALLS, PA. As I suspect the sport minded patrons of your blog know Joe quarterbacked The University of Alabama Crimson Tide football team, under the direction of Paul "Bear" Bryant, from 1962 - 1964. They won a National Championship in 1964. Bryant once referred to Namath as the greatest athlete he ever coached.
I once heard John Madden (Who had a pretty good Alabama QB in Kenny "Snake" Stabler) say that at the time he was playing Namath was doing things no one else was doing. Madden went on to say the only time he ever went in an opponents locker room was to congratulate Namath for gutsy play after his jaw was broken by Ted "The Mad Stork" Hendrix and he refused to leave the game. (1967).
Guaranteed the Jets win over the BALTIMORE Colts in Super Bowl III, pretty much insuring the success of the merger of the AFL/NFL.

ROLL TIDE!

RJ

Al The Retired Army Guy said...

Anthony Weiner's favorite cartoon character? Woody Woodpecker.

Weiner's favorite college football coach? Woody Hayes.

Weiner's favorite tongue twister (other than his press conference)? "How much would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?"

Really, I'm getting calls from Conan and Leno now .... ;-)

Al
TRAG

Al The Retired Army Guy said...

@ RJ: Namath was a great quarterback. It's sad that later in his life he had a problem with alcohol (which he's subsequently licked, to his credit), but it sure doesn't diminish his accomplishments on the gridiron. It was sad to see him go to the Rams, both knees shot, though.

Funny - lots of great quarterbacks have come from Western PA .... Marino comes to mind, as does Joe Montana. Too bad the Browns never get any of them. We get people like Mike Phipps ... Trent Dilfer .... Jeff Garcia ... Tim Couch (in his defense, he got clobbered behind that expansion team line), Derek Anderson (one good season and gone), Brady Quinn ...

Al
TRAG

Erin O'Brien said...

Brian. Fucking. Sipe.

Anonymous said...

At one time Sipe was throwing to Ozzie. Fucking. Newsome. Hall of Fame Tight End. 1977 Alum, The University of Alabama. The hits just keep on coming.

P.S. No doubt Al. Western PA has produced some of the games finest.
Namath was not immune to the temptations of celebrity. However he went back to UA and completed his bachelors degree in 2007 at the age of 64, fulfilling a promise to one of his daughters, also a Bama grad.

RJ

Bill said...

Lucy hates the guys who want to protect the lives of unborn babies. OK.

Ms Amanda said...

But isn't the real question in all of this:
How is an unsolicited Twitter/text junk shot any different from an unsolicited raincoat in the park flasher junk shot?

Bill said...

Ms Amanda: Tweets are solicited. Follow/Unfollow

Erin O'Brien said...

Bill is off his nut.

Anonymous said...

Dear Erin,
...Did you ever think those adorable little troll dolls kids collected as youths would come back as a hostile and malignant presence to annoy and irritate adults?
xxoo Mike R
ps I'll be over at 11 to do your nails

wv: fidefr: cockney slang, ie, 'e ast me 'f i'd 'ef 'r? 'ell, yes, i'd 'ef 'r

Al The Retired Army Guy said...

Just saw a story about an ad for an airline in Detroit running a "Weiner sale." The ad states that the fares are so low that they're "too hard to resist." Awesome.

http://detroit.cbslocal.com/2011/06/07/punny-airline-ad-offers-fares-too-hard-to-resist/

Al
TRAG

Ms Amanda said...

So.... If I follow someone on Twitter that means I'm asking for that person to send me photos of their erect penis? Must be in the fine print...
And if they follow me I get to send them photos of my business? I'm pretty sure you're confusing Twitter with Chatroulette, Bill.

Erin O'Brien said...

Ms Amanda, I love the term "my business" and had not heard it before.

For the record, I often refer to "my business" as Glorious Steinem.

Leslie Morgan said...

And lest we forget "nice" gentlemen from reputable, costs-money, online dating sites who - once we mutually decide it's time to exchange photos - send dick pix. "Thanks, Bud. Put that away. I'd have preferred to seen your face first."

Erin O'Brien said...

Men do love to pull that thing out and show it off, don't they Leslie?

I once found a dick pic by the side of the road. Polaroid. Back pre-digital cam days. I wondered if someone threw it out of a car window and if so, why.

No telling.

Erin O'Brien said...

Man, these righties who are trying to make Weinergate a referendum on the morals of the left are killing me.

Um ... NEWT GINGRICH IS ONE OF YOUR TOP 2012 PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES.

MARK SANFORD NEVER RESIGNED THE GOVERNORSHIP.

Fact is, iffin' someone didn't break any rules, they have no obligation to resign. If they're elected officials, the people can cast their judgement in the voting booth the next time around.

Leslie Morgan said...

Like we've never seen one of those things before. They're really rather similar in nature, from one to the next, just like the latest scandal. Investigate. Determine whether he's just an idiot or an idiot who violated something other than the sensibilities of some people. Then get on with governing. Please.

Anonymous said...

@Amanda: So that makes the ob-gyn co-pay a 'business' transaction in more ways than one?

Mike R

Ms Amanda said...

I'd say so Mike, I'd say so.

Mrs. C said...

Um...Jim Kelley (If any of you can still follow where this might go in the thread...)

Bill said...

Way before the dick pic, Weiner was an asshole. I could'nt care less who he tweets with or facebooks with or sends pics to. It's irritating to see people worried about whether or not he can save his political career. He's an attorney. He can get a different job, or ask his constituents to believe that the only thing he lies about is his private life.

alphadog said...

Couldn't agree with you more Bill. One of the most pompous, arrogant, smarmy, condescending nanny staters on the Hill.
I don't care about his sexting, but, as I posted elsewhere, if this is the vehicle by which he is brought down, ride it like ya stole it.

Anonymous said...

Did the Dave Matthews Band empty their port-a-john over the bridge again?
...seems to have flushed out some trolls...

Mike R

wv: lendleo: Hollywood term, as in "Brad, will you lend Leo the Rolls for the weekend?"

alphadog said...

Hey Mike,
Quite simply, Fuck You.
If you have a problem with differing opinions perhaps sir it's you that should not be here.

Anonymous said...

puuuleeeze God puhleeeeeze pleeze pleeze pleeze PUHleeze, please let somebody bring up former Rep. Chris Lee (NY-26) who had the DECENCY to resign HOURS after his Craigslist Ad was posted on Gawker.Com. Pretty Please?
Mike R

Anonymous said...

"Fuck You"...
The Carbon Unit identifying as "Alphadog"...Moi?...a)By your response, you identify with troll-like content...b) your use of 'sir' is insincere...tsk tsk... c) by echoing another's post, by definition you don't have a differing opinion...
But that's not all that wrong with your post..."if you have a problem with differing opinions, perhaps sir it's you who should not be here"....
Where else should I be?
"A gentle answer turneth away wrath"....
Mike R
"you are passionate, Mozart, but you do not persuade" Emperor Franz Joseph, in Amadeus...

alphadog said...

Mike R,
Well said.
I trust your sense of vindication is complete.

Erin O'Brien said...

Aw, come on gents.

Everyone who is here is welcome here. Honest.

Harry Finch said...

I may be crazy, but the United States House of Representatives should be a place of dignity, demonstrating at least the occasional glimmer of virtue. People like Weiner make it a laughing stock, the object of derision, a wellspring of national humiliation. That is why he should resign.

What Weiner doesn’t understand is that the House is a much larger concept and institution than the puny concept and institution of Weiner. By not resigning he just shrinks a great democratic body down to his size.

Anonymous said...

Harry I don't think you're crazy. I think I understand your sentiment and endorse it. I just fear the horse is out of the barn. What with unlimited campaign contributions and gerrymandering a person with the right connections, dignified or not, can win a seat in the House.

RJ

Erin O'Brien said...

I think he will resign within the next seven days.

His wife is pregnant. Damn I feel for her.

Anonymous said...

Troll like contact. As opposed to actual troll content. Watch out for thos dangerous trolls

Erin O'Brien said...

For the record, Bill can sure rub my fur the wrong way, but he's been commenting here for a long long time.

Alph and I also disagree plenty, but we go way back.

And a general reminder: the Owner's Manual welcomes all opinions. Swear, rant and stamp your feet all you want, but please leave the personal attacks and name calling at the door.

I so dig this blog and all of you. Let's keep it freaky alive and not kill the very parts of it that make it great.

Anonymous said...

Wha...wait just a damn minute! At what point did Bill earn the privilege of rubbing the hostesses fur?

These are troubling times indeed.

RJ

Erin O'Brien said...

For some reason, the hostess is really regretting her use of the word "fur."

help.

philbilly said...

Erin, a corollary, if I may;

"The Only Sex You Should Be Worried About Is The Sex You're Not Having."

Anonymous said...

re anonymous @ 9:03
You very nearly completed a sentence there. I guess I'd remain anonymous too. PS buy a vowel
Mike R

wv: delik: a Dr Who reference? Oh, no, those were Daleks!

Anonymous said...

re anonymous @ 9:03
...if you can't afford the vowel, just send me the 'bill'....
Mike R

Bill said...

I was the anonymous without the vowel. I was trying to comment using my blackberry while doing something else. Sorry. I think I was trying to defend trolls. Not sure what fur.

Al The Retired Army Guy said...

"By not resigning he just shrinks a great democratic body down to his size."

I think after the "dick pic" showed up online today, that his "democratic body" probably shriveled up and went back into his body somewhere ...

"I just fear the horse is out of the barn."

RJ got this one right. Not only is Weiner's "horse" out of the barn, it's galloping down the road to God only knows where .. wait a minute, we do know! Some 26 year old single Mom's email, and a college student's email! ;-)

Like I've said before, you just can't make this stuff up! ;-)

Al
TRAG

Erin O'Brien said...

Dear Joe Namath:

Nobody cares about your pantyhose. Sorry. I tried.

Love, Erin

Bill the Wrenchbender said...

Boy, when this first hit the news I was expecting a wave of dick jokes, but it's more like a tsunami!

Al The Retired Army Guy said...

Speaking of dick jokes, there's a great chapter in native Clevelander Drew Carey's book, "Dirty Jokes and Beer" called "101 Big Dick Jokes." Totally worth the price of the book if you ask me. My favorite?

"My dick is so big, it was almost drafted by the Cleveland Browns, but Art Modell didn't want a bigger dick than him on the team."

Al
TRAG

Erin O'Brien said...

Excerpts from a good opinion piece on Weiner:

"People are sexual deviants. Damn near all people."

"Let me be clear, this isn't to excuse Weiner or any of these men, I'm just saying don't be so surprised, don't be so naive, and tread a little carefully with your moralizing."

"In the end, what offends me more than Weiner's tweeting is that he's such a big fat liar. For a week this guy sat down in front of Wolf Blitzer, Luke Russert and others to spin an elaborately fabricated story about being hacked, painting himself as a victim. This alone should be enough for him to lose his job."