Wednesday, March 09, 2011

The trouble with beavers


My friend Dan has an unhappy beaver infestation.

"Beavers are eating my trees. Grrr," bemoans Dan on his Facebook page.

Some things just have to be gotten through, so let's get this out of the way first thing: How in the hell did the pudendum end up with the label "beaver?"

Of course I can only speak for myself, but I've never known a pudendum that built a dam or ate a tree. I do not believe the organ resembles a beaver. And although many pudenda have surely been "eager," no one can truly say the same of a beaver. Dr. Doolittle notwithstanding, has anyone ever consulted a beaver?

"Yo beaver, are you eager?"

On to Dan's dilemma. It may irk my old buddy, but I'm sort of rooting for Dan's beavers. That tree is clearly adjacent to some water source and those beavers have a dam to build. Sorry, Dan.

Dan is a frequent visitor to the Owner's Manual. He is featured in the last photo of this post and comments under the name "danb."

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23 comments:

A Daft Scots Lass said...

Go Beavers!!

danb said...

The rub here is that they are building a dam behind a dam. The funny thing is that I was thinking about cutting down the tree anyhow, so those busy little bastards are doing the hard work for me.

Fun facts about beavers:

A path that they follow through the woods to get to water is called a "Beaver trail". I'm not making this up.

They are dark brown, and their pelts are considered to be very desirable.

I have used the words "beaver", "pelt", "rub", and "busy".

That is all.

danb

Erin O'Brien said...

I think we can all agree that Dan is a genius.

Felix said...

No. It's too easy.
Besides, I promised The Girlfriend I'd be good (for once), so I'm going to tell myself "No. Jokes."

Contrary Guy said...

Beaver jokes are so easy they should be given up for Lent. Not that I'm into Lent or anything.

it was a rough winter, I'm sure the deer were just as tough on trees of that size (young bark is tasty).

Leslie Morgan said...

Dan does, indeed, appear to be a beaver genius.

Bill said...

Beaver and wood. Yep. Too easy.


WV= cocci

Anonymous said...

Did I see Beaver and Tasty?







James Old Guy

danb said...

Yesssss... a genius with a happy and well fed clutch of beavers...

danb

Anonymous said...

Don't be so hard on the beaver.

The Expatresse said...

In Spanish, it is a "conejo" or rabbit. Except in South America where it is a "concha."

danb said...

I completely failed to mention that as I wrote the previous entry, I was listening to the brass band "Bonerama". No, I am not making this up.

danb

Matt Conlon said...

"How in the hell did the pudendum end up with the label "beaver?" "

Wow, I'd never heard the beaver called a Pudendum before...

Back in High School, a fellow student was giving a presentation on beavers, and my cousin raised his hand and said "I'm told that the European beaver was generally hairier than the american beaver, is that true?"

I still find it funny today, so imagine how funny it was back in High School, and add in the fact that she didn't get the joke and answered "I haven't seen any reference to hairy European beavers in my research."

...I wish I had that on tape.

alphadog said...

Dan,
You're not going to share anything with Erin about cats are you?

philbilly said...

Come to think of it, I rarely hear the pudendum called the pudendum.

I think the beaver analogy entered the lexicon back when people wore beaver fur. Ya'know, it's cold out, and you slide yer head into a soft warm beaver hat, and soon yer ears are warm and toasty.

And then there's this;
loveglove

Anonymous said...

Being a leftist it is mandatory that I embrace all god's critters and protect them from harm However I must admit them little muthas can be a destructive lot. Had a friend with some property that bordered the Cumberland River and they basically deforested one whole bank. The skill with which they dropped the trees in the proper location to accomplish their construction goals was remarkable. Catch and release traps are your friend.

RJ

alphadog said...

RJ,
With all due respect, catch and release often is a simple way to make your difficulty go away by foisting it upon someone else. Further, releasing animals into alien habitat by well meaning individuals can be terminally detrimental to the animal. Best to learn to live with them if you're averse to harvesting them.

Bill said...

Are beavers and badgers related? Because, if you threaten badgers with changing their work rules, they'll flee to another territory. Maybe just tell the beavers that they have to change the way they gather wood.

Erin O'Brien said...

Bill, that's dumb.

Bill said...

I know but I was tired of the beaver thing and wanted to change the subject. Sorry. Now paying attention to the Muslim/Home Grown Terrorism hearing.

Anonymous said...

Did they say anything about the homegrown Christian threat?

RJ

Bill said...

Sheila Jackson Lee did point out the Christian therat and the KKK too. Then there was that Presbyterian. I was actually thinking that I've never trusted the Moonies. Skeptical of Christian Scientists too. I'm still wondering about who recruited Timothy McVeigh.

Erin O'Brien said...

Bill eats boogers.