Monday, March 07, 2011

Daily vocabulary and other notes

brazoobie |brə'zu'bē|: a party at which all attendees (including the men) wear nothing but brassieres, although a tasteful strand of pearls is acceptable. Alcohol and light hors d'oeuvres are usually served.

-To freshen sponges, run them through the dishwasher along with the soiled plates and flatware.

-I just said "soiled." I just said "flatware."

-I use "shampoo" as a verb. It is this sort of subtlety that sophisticates me.

Not now. I just shampooed my hair!

Okay, baby, but first let me shampoo my hair.

-I also use the verb "launder." Laundering the bedding produces the happy result of Clean Sheet Day, which has its own implications.

You miserable Goat! I just laundered the bedding!

-I am proud of myself for not drawing attention to using the word bedding in the previous entry and I realize that I have diminished said accomplishment by noting my pride in this entry.

-My 27-ounce Klean Kanteen stainless steel classic with the sport cap in "Prevention Purple" squeaks when I drink from it.

-Sometimes I scoop Pierre's Premium Ice Cream (peanut butter cup) directly from the carton (with a spoon) and place a single Dan Dee extra dark/extra salty pretzel ring upon it and eat the two together. Sometimes I don't. Sometimes I employ a marital aid.

-My long gray hairs imbue me with a certain regality.

-Use newspaper and a spray bottle of vinegar and water to clean windows. Let me know how it works out. I've never tried it.

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14 comments:

danb said...

I try to use the word "shat" at least once a day, i.e., "The dog shat in the yard earlier this morning." I think it covers a multitude of sins.

danb

Rory L. Aronsky said...

"My boss just shat all over my dreams again. Lucky for me, I have a heavy-duty shovel."

ben said...

"Have you seen that show, Shit my Shat Says?"

Hal said...

"Hairs" sounds...kinda nasty.

twinkly sparkles said...

Do you use the marital aid a. as an ice cream scoop or b. on your person while you eat your ice cream/pretzel concoction or c. both with multiple marital aids

Just curious, twinkly

Leslie Morgan said...

Shit! I'm at the hospital "library", awaiting release. [Truly!] This sounds like a hell of a party to meE Let me just tie up the strings on the back of my gown and I'm there!

DogsDontPurr said...

~That newspaper/vinegar thing: not so good. It leaves newsprinty smudges on your white windowsills and trim.

~If you shampooed my hair, would it come out looking as fabulous as yours? I LOVE your hair.

~Would you launder my bedding? (I know, that sounds kinda dirty, but I hate laundering, and I LOVE Clean Sheet Day!)

~Mmmmmm....ice cream.....


WV: nosenta
Sometimes I make nosenta.

Erin O'Brien said...

Sorry folks, been busy with rabid righties over on Facebook.

I see that as soon as I leave, y'all start throwing shit around here. SHEESH!

Twinkly, I do own a marital aid that I could employ while eating ice cream, although I never have. Seems like pushing the envelope just a tad too far.

Leslie--Doesn't that sound like fun? A brazoobie?

And thanks for the heads up DDP.

Anonymous said...

brazoobie. tupperware for the 21st century.

RJ

TomH said...

I think Pierre's ice cream, or most any other brand, provided it's the right flavor, is all the marital aid necessary.

The pretzels are just a flippin' bonus!

alphadog said...

Ya suppose Victoria's Secret carries a 44A in red lace?

Claire L Hallam said...

Brazoobie.....men wearing bras? I could never go along with that....Oh well, perhaps sometimes!
Now pass that ice cream.

Anonymous said...

Damn,not one word on pantyhose.














James Old Guy

Erin O'Brien said...

Oh hell, here you go, James.