Tuesday, February 15, 2011


Sometimes I surprise myself with my flair for presentation.

Why, exactly, do Ballpark franks plump when you cook 'em?

In the interest of full disclosure, I drizzled this dog with French's Spicy Brown mustard. (The readership will refrain from castigating the authoress for breaking the law and not using Stadium Mustard since the authoress duly recognizes her wrongful ways--call it a form of early parole on account of good behavior.)

The Goat dressed his with (ahem) ketchup.

This lunch was simultaneously crappy and fantastic. This lunch was craptastic.

This post is done.

* * *


B.E. Earl said...

Spicy brown mustard is absolutely acceptable on a hot dog.

Ketchup...ugh. That's just plain wrong.

I like mine either with spicy mustard and sauerkraut or dragged through the garden Chicago-style. Yum!

Leslie Morgan said...

I'd be done, too, if I joined in that craptastic lunch. That is all.

alphadog said...

Fer chrissake, your first sin was to put it on a piece of whole grain nutritious whatever bread instead of a bun where it belongs. The condiment you choose to douse it with is secondary. And don't give me any crap about healthy, you're eating a damn hotdog.

Al The Retired Army Guy said...

I know how to make hot dogs. Really.

And just what does make a Ball Park hot dog plump?


lucy beckett 1935 said...

Okay. I have a lot to say about this post because this is important stuff. I happen to think that a good hot dog is about as good as it gets. The best I've ever had was a Nathan's big boy from a cart in NYC in front of the Met. Mus.of Art. This is an important point, having nothing to do with the cultural significance of said locale, as you will see. This dog was off the grill and nestled into a nicely steamed proper hot dog bun (ahem, Ms. O'B), covered with sauerkraut and spicey brown mustard, wrapped in waxed paper and purchased by me in less than a minute. I then sat down, on a gorgeous spring day, on the broad steps of that locale, spread my legs as far apart as possible, leaned forward, and ate every bite of that beauty! It dripped down my arms and onto the steps but not on me, and I've never been happier!

Sausage Fingers said...

economical tightness calls for drastic culinary measures, but why oh why would the Goat destroy such Americana by spewing such putrid liquid as ketchup on a dog....
Mustard - Mustard - Mustard.
Just kidding do what makes you feel good no matter what - sometimes I dip fries in mayo.
Cheers, Sausage...

rraine said...

ketchup is wrong. bread is wrong. mustard, of any kind, is right. the food police have spoken.

Erin O'Brien said...

We had hot dogs.
We had no buns.
We had bread.
We had hunger.

Am I proud of what happened next? Hell no!

Don't you people judge me. Don't you people hold me accountable for the Goat's obscene condiment activity.

Goat said...

I stand by my ketchup!!! Mustard is fine also. I just condiment as my mood strikes. Also, did you see the picture? Can anything really ruin the fine lunch I am presented the day after Valentines Day where I go all out to please my lovely bride?


Leslie Morgan said...

@ Goat ~ You fight for the right, Brother!

WV - ingasbu. What I imagine you all suffered after that fine meal.

Anonymous said...

I now must have a Nathan's Big Boy on the steps of the Met. MOA on a gorgeous spring day.
Thank you for the image Ms. Beckett.

As for the O'B. I think you should go see the Cavs and eat a proper hotdog as punishment. And look around and say "Hey, Whatever happened to that James guy?"


Bill said...

As a result of this post I just broke out a frozen pack of Safeway brand hot dogs and micro waved two of them and ate each of them on a slice of asiago cheese bread, toasted, with catsup! They tasted great but now I feel like crap. Mentally.

Al The Retired Army Guy said...

Sorry, but ketchup is something that should never appear on a hot dog. This comes from a guy who is married to a woman who puts both ketchup AND sweet relish on the hot dogs I make for her. Call me a purist, I guess .... ;-)

As for the bun choice ... well, ya gotta do what you gotta do, given what's on hand. My mom used to serve us hot dogs on bread when no buns were available (which was a lot of the time). However, we never put ketchup on them ... or sweet relish.

Tonight, I made my wife a hamburger with both ketchup (perfectly fine on a burger) and relish (should never be allowed near a burger). This is the same woman who likes gravy, but doesn't like sauces. The only difference, classically, between a gravy and a sauce is the type of fat used (classic sauce, butter; gravy, rendered fat from the animal part being cooked). Go figure.

This being said, she got her traditional dozen roses yesterday.


Ms Amanda said...

I miss those innocent days when I could happily eat a hot dog and a white bun.
Sadly, now that I know what's in them, as much as I may desire one, the gag reflex kicks in before the dog makes it anywhere near my mouth...

Norrin2 said...

Erin, the franks plump in anticipation of entering a soft, warm bun.

philbilly said...

Norrin2, +1

philbilly said...

For the record, I haven't put a dog on a regulation bun for years. I too, wrap them with bread, whole grain Ezekiel 4:9 bread. I call it Good vs. Evil.

Condiment: Any dark mustard, and ketchup only if it made without HFSC. I swear I can taste the difference.

White enriched flour bread shows up in your bloodstream like a dose of sugar, don't need it.

For a true hotdog, stop at Tony Packo's and get a belch dog.

Daniel said...

I can't tell you how many times my father has prepared that same meal for me. A hot dog on a slice of bread. I freakin' love it.