Friday, November 26, 2010

Turkey dregs?

You poor bastards obviously need a diversion or two, so here you go:

1) Here's my turkey bone soup recipe. That is the best goddamn turkey bone soup you will ever eat, hands-down.

2) If a straight married chick makes out/plays boobie squash with Cat Cora, is that considered adultery? Please advise.

3) The Goat's smoked turkey was 100 percent kick ass yesterday, but you can't make turkey bone soup out of a smoked turkey carcass. That is what is known as a cruel irony, people. 

3.4) Leftover candied yams for breakfast? HELL YEAH.

4) Behold one of my favorite selections from Gawker's 7 Best Deep Fried Turkey Disaster Videos.



5) This note is included because you can't have a list with just four items on it.

5.7) The numbering system for this list is the product of a complex equation involving a high-thinker, editing and dumbassery. Don't ask any goddamn questions. 

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19 comments:

philbilly said...

Speaking of cruel irony, I just Googled Cat Cora. From the little photo, I guessed she was a astronaut chick on some cable sci-fi program I don't get over here in Dogpatch. Nope, she's a chef, and an iron one at that, and there is apparently zero chance I will ever serve her breakfast in bed.

Ken Houghton said...

I don't understand #2, but the instinctive answer is "Yes--and your premise that she is strictly straight seems doubtful."

Whether it is venal or venial adultery is left as a discussion point; providing a video tape of the tryst (or promising to do so in the future) may go a long way toward ameliorating the issue.

Then again, it may not.

dean said...

If any married woman has a shot a playing boobie squash with a woman named 'Cat Cora', no rational husband would stand in her way.

So, yeah, adultery, but fuck-yeah! adultery it would be.

Bill said...

It is definitely NOT adultery. I don't know Cat Cora but I like her and I'm sure my wife would like her because we like a lot of the same things.

I've never had a turkey in my oven on any day other than Thanksgiving day. Isn't that curious?

alphadog said...

Re: #2, a former President once had it legally confirmed that eatin' ain't cheatin' so I think one would be safe, given your scenario.

Once Known as The Badger said...

There are some serious dust bunnies on the sensor of the turkey guy's digital movie camera. Just sayin'...

As for Cat Cora, I'd just as soon you didn't bring such things up. It will only cause pain and heartbreak, wailing, and probably some gnashing of teeth. And that's just from my end of things...

Hal said...

This is a greater Turkey disaster:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4j1N3G37_SQ&

I don't want to ruin the surprise by saying it's gruesome, so I won't.

Erin O'Brien said...

Hello gentlemen.

For some reason, I don't think the Goat is very worried about Cat Cora showing up here any time soon.

Hal, that is one of my FAVE vids. I love the guy with the turkeys. Sarah, baby, there ain't no levity in this scene as far as those turkeys are concerned.

J9 said...

1) That looks doable.
2) Depends. If that makes The Goat's definition of not adultery - it still would likely fit Cat's Wife's definition of adultery. Though you could claim BOL (boob only lesbian) status.
3) bummer because as we all know, it's the soup that makes the meal worthwhile.
3.4) fried mashed potatoes - just as good.
4) HA

Al The Retired Army Guy said...

Cat Cora - awarded the Golden Clog Award by Anthony Bourdain and Michael Ruhlman for Least Culinary Achievement a few years back at the South Beach Food and Wine Fest ...

And Erin - make a smoked turkey bone soup, for Christ's sake. You candy ass ... ;-)

Al
TRAG

philbilly said...

Just watched the fryer video. Reminds me of an old joke that is near and dear to my heart, having tried to live it repeatedly in my yoot.

Q.) What's the last thing a hillbilly says before he dies?

A.) Hey'all! Woach me do this...

Anonymous said...

"BOL" hahahahaha.

I as wondering too about the "boobie squash." Do they sell that at Whole Foods?

RJ

Bill said...

I've always identified as a lesbian. I'm not sure if it was a learned trait or if I was born that way.

Anonymous said...

"HIgh-thinker"=stoner....wjm

Erin O'Brien said...

Damn.

Has this blog no Girl Readers?

Contrary Guy said...

Apparently not. BTW, it's only cheating for Cat, you get a free pass, lol. Congrats on the 18th anniv.

Senor Kaboom said...

re: Cat Cora

Cheating? Debatable.

Hot? Not much room for debate there

swine said...

i'm with Al on Cat Cora. Cat is a wanna be porn star got sidetracked with cookin' is all.

Hey y'all woatch me do this....

Norm said...

Cat Cora recently moved to our town (admittedly a much swankier part of town than the one we live in) so this very issue had to be negotiated. We ended up deciding that if Cat had to leave her wife and she absolutely had to have mine, this would be okay so long as I was welcome to join in. We both thought that was fair all round.