I am hypnotized by her white teeth and eyeballs. I'm dazzled by her orange John Boehner tan.
Have you seen the outfits this chick wears? Those shiny leather jackets. The yellows and oranges and purples. And dig the coordinated jewelry--two perfect gold drops at the ears and another at her throat. I can never figure that sort of shit out.
I totally love it when Suze calls people "girlfriend" or "boyfriend" --the way she grins and leans forward a little bit, like she's flirting, even though she hardly has any time on account of having to fit all the segments into her show. And that she flirts with everyone--chicks AND dudes--even though she's gay? I love that.
I love it when Suze talks directly to me via the camera, even though I'm not the poor schmuck who is a zillion dollars in debt, unemployed, and wants to take a $10,000 Paris vacation.
"You are DEE-NIED!"
I secretly want to be on the "How Am I Doing Segment," just so I could hear Suze give me a financial "A" and tell me I'm really fucking great. (Of course, I'd never actually go on for fear that she'd really give me a C+ or worse.)
Once Suze said this to a caller, "Get down and dirty with me, girlfriend!" with this sort of naughty look on her face and I thought that was great. Once she called a caller named Julie "Jules." Once she called a caller named Brittney "Brit."
I wonder if she'd call me "Er." I would so love that.
When Suze Orman talks about serious financial matters like Roth IRA's, my eyes glaze over and I stare at her hair. Her hair has so much hairspray on it, it looks like a helmet.
Shit. I need some hairspray like that.
On that "Can I Afford It" segment, I love it when Suze says, "show me the money, boyfriend!"
Suze Orman is from Illinois, but for some reason, I suspect she's part Canadian. I love that.
I love Suze Orman.
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