Tuesday, December 08, 2009

My twisted Stephen King "Carrie" inspired George Will fantasy

Behold one woman's reverie:

George Will is behaving in his usual self-entitled over-inflated arrogant manner on "This Week with George Stephanopoulos" when a glint of metal appears at the top of the screen--it's some sort of hook being lowered onto the set.

Oblivious, Will continues gassing on, condescending to All Who Might Witness His Word, as the tiny hook centers over his head. The hook lowers slowly ... slowly ... slowly ... until it makes gentle contact with Will's toupee. Being so intoxicated with the sound of his own voice, Will does not detect the precise mechanical grab of the hook upon his rug.

Then, just as slowly as it appeared, the hook ascends, lifting Will's shaggy mop right along with it.

Two outcomes are possible:

1. Will does not notice and we get to watch the rest of the gang gulp down guffaws while their faces turn rainbow colors.

2. Will does notice and we get to gleefully enjoy that moment when confusion gives way to the crushing realization that the crowning roof of his facade is exposed.

How beautiful would this be?

Only trouble is, I think Georgie may have gone and gotten plugs by now.


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John said...

You are evil.... Beautifully evil.

e said...

Very funny, Erin!

dean said...

No way that's plugs. He'd have had to have his entire scalp replaced in order to foster a wad of greasy headwool as thick as that.

The toupee looks bad in that clip, like Will threw it on at the last second as he was running onto the set.

dean said...

For some reason, bad rugs look considerably worse than bad breast implants. And I'm no fan of breast implants.

Once Known as The Badger said...

What words would convey the upended and unexpected feelings between the moment the first crack is felt and the knowledge of the inevitable descent into the unrelenting cold?

WV - plinfis, as there are plinfis in the sea. If only I wouldn't fall off the bar stool, I maht ketch me one...

Dan said...


I think you're being kind of mean, considering he's wearing it to be a chick magnet for ya.

Yes. For ya.

Entrepreneur Chick said...

I agree with Dan.

He only wants to buy you a few cocktails and get in yo pants.

Why must you be so difficult, Erin?

Bill said...

an easier mark would have been sam donaldson. he's a "for sure" on the rug thing. I guess he's far enough left for you not to fantize about? I don't like george much. very funny as usual e.

wv: islyp islyp up when trying to make a right/left argument

Anonymous said...

Two words.

Ugly Rug.

The Blue Ridge Gal