Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Five words that lower your IQ ten points as soon as you utter them

1. "Later." (When used as a closing salutation.)

2. "Nope."

3. "Douchebag." (Not when used to refer to a personal hygiene device for women, but when used as a derogatory term, most often by males under the age of 40. Your humble hostess suggests "peckerhead" as an alternative.)

4. "Dis." (As an abbreviated form of "disrespect.")

5. "Sick." (Not when used to pertain to mental or physical illness, but when [perhaps in an attempt at irony] used as an adjective meaning "excellent" or "outrageous." Granted, this might be the current generation's replacement for "cool," but at worst, "cool" implies a pleasant albeit lower temperature, whereas "sick" evokes vomiting, diarrhea, pustules, and mucous.)

50 comments:

patiomensch said...

Ahaha, look at that guy. I'm content to drop my IQ if it means I get to continue using douchebag.

Once known as The Badger said...

There's no hope without nope... maybe... wait, what was it again? No hope without... damn, I can't remember.

Erin O'Brien said...

WHASSUP??!!

LimesNow said...

How about "dog" and "bitch" when they make no reference to a canine? Dock 5 MORE points, please!

Erin O'Brien said...

That brings us back to "peckerhead."

Tag said...

Nope I may be a neanderthal but I'm going to call w a douchebag until the day I die.

LimesNow said...

Come on down to the "crib".

Erin O'Brien said...

"Got yer back."

Anonymous said...

Dude, that was awesome

jo

LimesNow said...

My 'ho'.

Once known as The Badger said...

Wow, dude, that was far out! New shit has come to light...

Erin O'Brien said...

"my bad"

LimesNow said...

god, I hate "my bad"!

How about: "comin' down there with my posse!"

Erin O'Brien said...

WAIT! I've got it!

From now on, Permits To Use "Douchebag" As A Derogatory Term shall only be issued to men who can prove they have irrigated an actual vagina with water and vinegar.

And NO I will not be giving lessons or offering personal affidavits.

Love,

Your Posse

eviljwinter said...

I reserve the right to use the term "douchebag" as I live half an hour from John Boehner, which also gives me free license to use the derogatory terms "punk-ass bitch," "scumbag," "scumbucket," "dumbass," and "filthy bastard," all in reference to Mr. Boehner (R-Wherever Heads Are Up Asses)

However, I vow only to use the term "vapid harpie" in reference to Jean "Cut and Run" Schmidt as she is my representative in Congress. After all, proper respect must be shown.

How can i not show her respect? Her own daughter endorsed her.

(I wish I was making that up.)

Anonymous said...

One vote for the waiver of mr. eviljwinter's request.

RJ

Erin O'Brien said...

Waiver granted.

Tony said...

Addressing seniors as "you guys"

LimesNow said...

Ha! Tip of the hat, Tony. I can't resist building on what you just said.

Addressing women as "you guys".

Erin O'Brien said...

All this "you guys" talk reminded me of when I was researching this story on hetero crossdressers.

The whole gender/pronoun thing was impossible. I was afraid of making a gaffe every time I opened my mouth. Once I casually addressed a group of them as "you guys" and they were all over me.

Strange days ...

Chris said...

Can one use "Later" as a closing salutation in proximity to "gator"? As in:

Later, 'gator.
While, 'dile.

LimesNow said...

Yikes, Erin! A veritable cocktail party schmoozing minefield. Kind of makes you want to address the group as "folks" or "people", doesn't it?

DogsDontPurr said...

Duuuude!

DogsDontPurr said...

Actually, that might have been better as: Duuuude!

jonas said...

You know, just for the sake of cultural relativism, let me offer up the following:

Check this

Some people would find some of the above comments bordering on...uh....what's the word I'm looking for....what is it we call Joe Wilson these days?

Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. Some of the above "I really hates" are referencing words and phrases that originated and are primarily used within black communities. Sure sure, whites use them, too...but only via appropriation. And, if that bit of cultural transmission is unfamiliar to you, perhaps we all should step back and rethink who we're willing to call stupid because of language choice and usage.

Yes, there's plenty of...suboptimal language out there. Agreed. But that a section of the above is pointing to something rather specific, and that no one seems to notice, understand, or care, is a bit troubling, given the recent spat with the more right-leaning readership. Call me over sensitive, but I'm smelling a bad double standard.

jonas said...

Let me be a bit more clear: all of the above borders on cultural elitism (I say "borders" rather than "IS" as a good will gesture). Argue all you want that there's just a "decent way of speaking," (or, writing) and believe you're not being a cultural hegemonist, that's great. But, you know what sits RIGHT NEXT TO cultural elitism? Racism. And you and I do it aaaaalllll the time. I know that. My point is: if a veritable cabal of people is going to defend the good, free world from the crazy, racist bullshit of Joe Wilson (that is, the regular readers of this blog), that cabal should be awfully careful when it starts dictating what is "smart" talk, and what talk defines you as losing IQ points.

Just sayin...dudes.

Erin O'Brien said...

"That's hot!"

Erin O'Brien said...

(and the readership should know that Jonas digs the word "douchebag," with which the only color I've seen associated is pink)

Erin O'Brien said...

Wait. Let me get this right by way of a Finch:

"I think, Jonas, you should rethink your use of douche. Why is it that the worst things you can call people has something to do with vaginas?"

jonas said...

Oh Erin....

Stop dodging. And more over, what, exactly, is that comment even supposed to mean? "The readership should know"?? As if you're divulging some state secret. I like a word, and you associate it with a color? Huh. That's neat. Pointless, but...neat. Yay. Unless, by "pink" you're insinuating something. But of course, given the back and forth with HB's crowd, I know you to be above such childishness.

I assume you're going to give my objections some actual thought, rather than digress into something silly. Fine, "douchebag" might be sexist. Haven't considered that, but if you think so, than fine, perhaps it is. But for fucksake, endorsing some of the above nonsense is really shite. S what, people use words we don't like, and so they're therefore less intelligent? Oh, happens to be many of those listed happen to come from Black America? Huh, how about that. There's alot of self-righteousness that kicks around this space. Posts and comments like these undermined the whole project.

And since you felt like making it personal, I submit that my level of education indicates that regardless of my use of the word "douchebag," "posse," or "crib" (you know, if I ever felt like just saying them), probably wouldn't do much to my IQ. It's pretty solid.

jonas said...

As for Finch....

I'm pretty sure he's secure in knowing his opinion of my word choice doesn't keep me up at night. He's a big boy like that.

But, nice of you to try to leverage that.

If you're having a bad day, just call it for what it is, and avoid taking potshots at your readership.....

jonas said...

Oh, and somehow I missed this before: douchebag (as an insult) is sexist. But "peckerhead" is....not?

Huh.

Erin O'Brien said...

Jonas, you're taking this a bit too seriously. Yes, peckerhead is a sexist insult. It's a joke.

Your indignation was just a bit hard to take, particularly since you were part of the impetus of this post. Months ago, when Finch left that comment, I was thinking, yeah, why is a smart guy like Jonas coming off like a locker room doof using that word? Now, I normally would not disclose such a thing, but you've turned the tide on this comment section. Plus, you're a big boy, you can take it. If it makes you feel any better, I always think "douchebag" is ridiculous.

If I'm being dodgy, so be it. Here's a little secret that will make this all a bit clearer: I don't really believe someone's IQ drops 10 points when they say, "later" or that said person is dumb.

And you're being a bit dodgy yourself: "Some people would find some of the above comments ... "

Some people? Some comments? Joe Wilson?

If you paid me one million dollars, I couldn't tell you where the term "my bad" originated. Black community? White community? Hell if I know. Plenty of women are offended by the term "ho." And thinking "crib" is silly doesn't make a person racist. Did it occur to you that this might be a bit of a generational thing?

Now then, go irrigate a vagina and I'll issue your permit.

Erin O'Brien said...

Now that I think of it, I'm don't know the origin of many of the "feature" words associated with this post.

Dude? Got your back? You guys? Who first used "douchebag," Jonas?

In all your academia-speak, there is at least one good point: name-calling is usually a bad idea.

Erin O'Brien said...

Also, Jonas, the word hate appears exactly two times in this post. Once in a comment by Limes Now regarding "my bad," then you used it to generalize "some" of the previous comments.

Seems "my bad" was born of "Clueless," basketball and Shakespeare, with much of the credit for "widespread popular use" going to "Clueless."

jonas said...

I'm not talking about "my bad". "Crib", "ho", "dog"...pretty culturally specific.

You're still dodging. That's fine. Call it all a joke. Not everyone posting here was joking. That you breeze over that fact is too bad.

Enough said.

jonas said...

I'm not talking about "my bad". "Crib", "ho", "dog"...pretty culturally specific.

You're still dodging. That's fine. Call it all a joke. Not everyone posting here was joking. That you breeze over that fact is too bad.

Enough said.

Erin O'Brien said...

I am not dodging.

But to be clear and move very deliberately out of the joke realm, here goes: I am patently disgusted whenever I hear anyone refer to women as bitches, dogs, ho's, sluts or whores. Heretofore, I had never heard that calling women "dogs" was born of the African American culture. I hope that is not true.

I have been called most of those names. In every instance those words are demeaning and inappropriate. They say more about the person speaking than the object of their name-calling. If I could, I would erase that sort of language from the collective lexicon.

My opinion on this subject, Sir, is color blind. I detest the language of hate regardless of the source.

You truly have no idea how much this subject infuriates me. Even as we speak, I'm having to deal with Eminem and a 12-year old daughter. Now you go on and listen to all six minutes of that and tell me how I should explain "bitch" and "ho" and "slut" to her.

If I've read this right, you have accused everyone in this comment section of some sort of racially motivated snickering and nudge-nudge wink-wink conduct. Sir, I do not agree with that assertion.

Shaina said...

oops, i use four out of five of those...one of my exes was such a jerk to me (think, "wham bam thank you ma'am"), i don't even call him by name anymore, he's just "douchebag". when i say that, my friends know exactly who i'm talking about.

ah well. my IQ could stand to lose a few points :-P

jonas said...

Sir? Seriously?

"Dog", used in the same context as "crib," is generally a a term used by one friend to another. Has nothing to do with women.

Yes, you're still dodging. Because now, you're making it about your view of particularly sexist language. And true...it exists, and its bad. The original post is not an sexist-based argument. If you want to focus on that, fine. That's your issue, have at it.

I'm not sure I'd characterize my point as having "accused everyone in this comment section of some sort of racially motivated snickering and nudge-nudge wink-wink conduct." I'm simply pointing out that, as I said, some might see what's been said here as form of racism. Yup, that's what I said. And until someone can really show me how that's not at all possible, legitimate interpretation, I'll stand by that. Remember, I agreed with the general principal with which you started: some language is pretty useless.

But, that's enough from me on this. You claim it as a joke, and I'm fairly certain some people weren't joking. Thus highlighting the problems of digital communication. Its your blog, therefore if you say it was a joke, I guess it was a joke.

Erin O'Brien said...

Guilty until proven innocent? Racist until proven not racist? Maybe you ought to look for a shadow of a doubt.

LimesNow said...

After musing on all the back-and-forth here, I wanted to say that I've learned these figures of speech by hearing them used by my young, male coworkers who resemble the United Nations when lined up. My observation is that this language is common to a generation, not to an ethnicity.

And for the record, although I parody the designation on my blog frequently, the first time I heard "home dudes", I didn't care for it (I learned from reading above that I might want to avoid use of the word "hate", lest I be misunderstood). I use it now, tongue in cheek, as a true term of endearment, but it may also qualify as one of those less-than-wonderful descriptors.

philbilly said...

Down 50 points and I'm still the shizzle. Dag.

Erin O'Brien said...

I don't know, philbilly. "Shizzle" makes up for a lot of territory.

philbilly said...

Word.

Once known as The Badger said...

What a bunch of peckerdead dooshboys we are! Who would have thought such a simple thing would turn out to be... what would you call this? It's pretty fun, though.

Anonymous said...

Wow, dude, that got pretty heavy there! ("Dude"-couldn't stand it, picked it up from teenage son, now have to watch when/if/how if comes out of my mouth..I'm SO impressionable).

Interesting side note somewhat germane to the conversation: A certain local fourth estate facility tests all prospective employees on typing speed, spelling and grammar. Much of the grammar test is multiple-choice and many of those choices are written in what may be called "ebonics" by some--slang of the type we have been riffing on included. Racist? Discrimination? Ageist? Weeding out low IQs? Journalistic snobbery? Or do they just like people who talk and write good english??

(p.s. I know "talk and write good english" is bad english. That was a JOKE. I did well on the tests; they said they wished they could clone me. nyah nyah, dudes.)


jo

jo

Once known as The Badger said...

Jo! I would find such a test discriminating, as I ain't been larnt none good english yet... well once, but it didn't stick...

Ken Houghton said...

I realize I probably won't get a waiver, but I would request one for the "d-bag" word, with the specific exemption that it be permitted to be used as a replacement last name for the NYT columnist whose first name is "Ross."

Because watered-down vinegar is a pretty fair description of his brain.

Erin O'Brien said...

Two late additions:

"good 'nuff"

"yep"