Sunday, June 28, 2009

Lunch in the middle of America

I had some deli roast beef that I had to use up. It was too shitty for regular sandwiches, so I made a packet of "brown gravy," toasted some bread and served up "open-faced roast beef sandwiches" for lunch.

They were exactly like what you get in one of those sleepy little diners in Ohio towns like Fostoria or Tiffin or Bucyrus.

You either know what I'm talking about or you don't.


You would think the goat would protest such a meal.


But he did not. My kid did not. We just sucked it up and ate the shitty sandwiches.


This is the middle of America, people.

28 comments:

Hal said...

That is one shitty sandwich!

Anonymous said...

where's the packet of shitty instant potatoes? and mushy canned peas? That is the complete little diner version! (but then they usually have kick-ass homemade pie to wash it down with!)

jo

Mother Tesch said...

Your subject matter just falls right in with"My Daily List" for today.

Michael A. Miller said...

This 1 meal is more food than some people get in a week.

glittermom said...

fiestaware?

DogsDontPurr said...

I like the newspaper place mat! But to make this picture really complete, you're going to have to sprinkle the floors with sawdust and peanut shells.

*Wink!*

Oddly, I've actually been to a restaurant that serves the same sandwich and is decorated as described above.

philbilly said...

The Leaf Restaraunt on I-71 between Cleveland and Columbus is now a Subway. The sign still peeks above the off-ramp, a cruel hoax.

Back in the day, every team that raced at Mid-Ohio Sports Car Course, including Mario, Emo, Newman and the internationals, ate there religiously.

Ridiculous huge slices of pie.

Mediocre, yet strangely satisfying open-face roast beef sandwiches.

And that coffee. Always the same temperature and strength, never really fresh, never really stale, never really hot or cold, with a hint of chikory maybe. How do those diners brew that generic and genetically identical, unfair-trade trucker speed so that it is indistinguishable cup from cup, pot from pot, highway from highway, state from state?

If you called the person that brewed it a barista, they would want to smack you with a dirty mop reeking of Pine-Sol.

I wandered in there one afternoon years ago on my way to a weekend party at OSU, and the place was packed with Ohio State Troopers taking a break from driving school. They all briefy gave me that eyelidless stare and I felt like I must be doing something wrong. Then they turned back to their roast beef and I grabbed a coffee for the road.

God I love this country.

Al The Retired Army Guy said...

Gravy from a packet? What's that?

Al
TRAG

Hal said...

Philbilly, you're making me homesick for the Ohio Diner!

Erin O'Brien said...

I want to have lunch at Phil's I-71 diner with everyone in this comment section.

Yes, Glittermom, it's Fiestaware--purchased down in Hocking Hills, where you get all the factory seconds for cheap cheap. Ha!

(S)wine said...

that's right baby; i like it. this is the stuff that built this country before the bankers eviscerated it and all its values. i like that The Goat is eating straight up on his paper.

Geoff Schutt said...

Having lived for eight years in Tiffin, all I can say is, "Yup." When you're hungry, you eat. Simple as that. And when you're hungry, the food always tastes delicious.

Anonymous said...

Bernie Madoff will be having that lunch for the next 150 years.

I like pie.

RJ

Anonymous said...

The Leaf is GONE?? NOOOOOO! the best pie ever. the only relief in the mind-numbing Cleve-Columbus drive.

with this news and threats of storms outside, it's truly a blue monday

jo

Erin O'Brien said...

Hey Jo--go make you one o' those hot beef sammies. That'll cheer ya up!

Anonymous said...

BTW...The real middle of America.

The Geographical Center of the United States (contiguous 48) is located about two miles northwest of Lebanon, Kansas. Take US Highway 281 north 1 mile, and turn west one mile on K-191 to the maker that has been erected at the end of the paved road. The actual center is about a half mile away in the center of a former hog farm.


RJ

Harry Finch said...

Al likes Stir-Like-Hell-Gravy.

Al, that's so 40's. But good stuff.

Al The Retired Army Guy said...

Harry,

I like real gravy, not something out of a packet. Not passing judgment here, just stating what I do and don't like.

And you don't have to stir like hell - not if you're doing it right. I'd submit it's not so 40's, BTW - it's more like 1700s-1800s or so if you want to get technical. Gravies made from the rendered fat of animals, starch (usually flour) and liquid (usually a stock made from the bones of the animal whose fat has been rendered) have been around for centuries. And there's a reason for that as you note - it's gooooddddd!

Al
TRAG

Mr. L said...

A diner I used to frequent had a sign that read, "Hot Faced Sandwiches"...I'm sure there was some message in there...

Al The Retired Army Guy said...

You know, the Goat is almost saying by his facial expressions ... "God, do I have to eat this in the interest of marital bliss?" ;-) Don't feel bad, Erin, I'm Julie has done the same thing over the years with my "culinary inventions." She's always ready to praise the effort if not the food!

Al
TRAG

Harry Finch said...

Al - I only say 40's because that's the period my mom learned to cook at a dude ranch in upstate NY. The mention of real gravy will always get me thinking of her and how she (unintentionally) raised me to believe that if there's no gravy on the table then it's not dinner.

Erin O'Brien said...

Al.

You should have stopped talking a long time ago.

HeyJoe said...

Is that why you call him the goat, because he'll eat anything?

Erin O'Brien said...

I call him the Goat because I call him the Goat. And because I like to rub my boobies on his goat fur.

Al The Retired Army Guy said...

Erin,

Consider it done.

Al
TRAG

Erin O'Brien said...

Al.

I am totally going to kick your ass in this lifetime.

Erin O'Brien said...

Al the Retired Army Guy "hearts" Hillary, Obama, and Barney Frank.

Al The Retired Army Guy said...

Erin,

Of course you will. It won't be the first time, believe me.

Sure, I love Hillary, Obama and Barney Frank. I mean, who can't get behind a group of folks that supply me with endless amounts of amusement?

Al
TRAG