A good way to tell if you're a dried up gasbag is if you're one of the people complaining about how much sex and pornography there is on the Internet.
I have a lot of problems with Wolf's assertions in that article, which I've blogged about before, but that she's worried the vagina is losing its "exchange value" really frosts me.
Wolf, you dumb broad, did you really say that? Do you actually think that photos of vaginae devalue them? I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you didn't mean showing guys your puss will no longer get you daisies, dinners and diamonds, but let me give you a code orange news alert anyway: Most heterosexual men are as enthusiastic about vagina photograph number 1000 as they were about vagina photograph number one. Guys just love these things; can't get enough of them and never will.
Another problem I have with Wolf's article is that she refers mainly to college students throughout.
Does anyone have good sex in college? Hell no. Even if it is good sex in a technical sense, it's often immature. The 18 - 22 often does not assign proper value to sex because they still don't fully understand it, at least I didn't. They're kids!
(Yes Virginia, there really is an upside to getting older: YOU GET BETTER IN THE SACK!)
Wolf: "Well, I am 40, and mine is the last female generation to experience that sense of sexual confidence and security in what we had to offer. Our younger sisters had to compete with video porn in the eighties and nineties, when intercourse was not hot enough. Now you have to offer—or flirtatiously suggest—the lesbian scene, the ejaculate-in-the-face scene."
O'Brien: Well, I'm 44 and Wolf, you're full of shit. Here's my advice to the unnamed young women Wolf claims are badgered into sexual activities because of porn: Babygirl, if you don't want to do it, don't do it. Say NO and kick the asshole out. When you find the right lover, you'll want to do plenty.
I'm sorry, but you cannot blame Internet porn for men pressuring women for sex. That is simply moronic. There has always been sex pressure. You either cave into it or you don't. There is much more to say on that topic, but I'll save that discussion for another post and (finally) get to some sex.
Here's the skinny, people: Porn or no porn, there is never enough good sex. You can categorize sex into as many slots as you like but in the end, they all fall into one of these:
1) bad sex
2) mediocre sex
3) okay sex
4) good sex
5) great sex.
Everyone is trying to get to number 5 and everyone has spent time on squares 1 - 4. If you do cave into pressure or have some bad sex, so what? Lesson learned. Move on. Try to do better next time. Over the long haul, our sex lives are riddled with mistakes and imperfections. That's how we get to the Elysian fields of number 5.
I've been running this blog for 3 1/2 years. I write about lots of things including sex. The searches that bring people here often make me wax tender. They want to know how to make women climax, how to perform successful coitus and cunnilingus, how to fondle and stimulate women. They're searching for diagrams of women's genitalia, information about the G spot and the female orgasm. Whether or not I've helped any of those customers, I have no idea. I'm no sex expert. The heaps of bad online porn and sex sites out there are mostly nowheresville, but here is one sex site that is top notch:
violet blue :: open source sex
There you will find online sex the way it's supposed to be. It's loaded with sexy pics, fun stuff, great links and really good sex advice, like why you need to be careful when choosing (ahem) sex accessories. A little bird emailed me blue's URL last night and I was stunned I hadn't seen it before. So get a glass of wine and settle in for some top-notch sex surfing (oh yeah).
The big ol' bad Wolf and her ilk can huff and puff all they want, you've got a safe haven in violet blue's house and Erin's house as well.