"Lake effect" snow occurs when cold-ass air blows over a warm-ass lake, picks up a bunch of that water, turns it into snow and then dumps it on the nearest landfall. In northeast Ohio, we get hella snow on account of it.
When the lake freezes, however, lake effect snow more or less sputters out. Here in Cleveland, we note the conclusion of the lake effect phenomenon by hunkering into our overcoats, peering up at the gray sky with impending dread and saying, "Too cold to snow," to other nodding Clevelanders in layers of dark woolen clothing.
So when I woke up the other day, turned on the news and heard that snow might be coming even though Erie's damn near froze from shore to shore and said snow will be coming from Lake Huron, which is not so frozen I said, what?
Hey, Lake Huron? What are you candy-asses DOING UP THERE? Having a goddamn SWIM PARTY?
We froze our lake like your supposed to, so stop effing around and sending that shit down here. We got more than we can handle as it is! Now go on and freeze your lake and don't ask any questions.