Friday, October 03, 2008

It's morning in America

1. Ronald Reagan rose from the dead last night in order to successfully puppeteer a glass-eyed doll from Alaska as she regurgitate a memorized speech. Who'd-a thunk it?

2. Take a dollar from your wallet. Measure it with a ruler. I'm getting about six and one eighth by two and five eighths inches. Mark down your own findings! Wait a few hours, say, until the House passes the bailout behemoth, then measure that dollar again. How much has it shrunk?

3. I cannot understand why George Bush, Dick Cheney and Karl Rove are free men.

4. An estimated 47 percent of the American public are going to vote for Grampa 'Cain on purpose.

5. If those same polls are right, I may actually be broadcasting from a BLUE state for once. Hallelujah Ohio!


jonas said...

You gotta admit, citing Reagan as the name behind "city on a hill" is just remarkable. There are very few ideas in American history that are more explicitly religious, and she missed it by 378 hundred years (

Oh, and in case anyone missed it: "working together" is NOT a form of compromise.

Glad we clear that up.

Good times.

Erin O'Brien said...

Joe Biden kicked that silly little broad's ass. He hammered the idea of McSame again and again, dropped kicked her in the Maverick, looked like a seasoned ambassador on foreign policy, and came off as a charming gentleman the entire time.

He nailed it like a genius. Kudos, Biden.

Erin O'Brien said...

Hey Jonas. You beat me to my own comment section! Howdja do that baby?

Anonymous said...

A.M. Thoughts,

Palin likely saved her political future by channeling The Gipper and exceeding expectations. This is good news/ bad news for Dems. Bad news - it may slow the Obama momentum temporarily. Good News - Palin is the face of the GOP in the future.

Most chilling moment. She endorses Cheney view of the Vice Presidency.

Big Picture. McCain/Palin running out of time. Electoral options shrinking.


Anonymous said...

I am angry with Ifill for being tame and lobbing mostly softballs, which yielded pre-rehearsed answers. Biden did well to stay off Palin and hammer at McCain. Palin's winking and "ya betcha" demeanor turned me beyond off. I want to see her pull that shit in a room with Ahmadinejad or al-Assad or anyone from Hamas. Yes, Biden looked and sounded like a seasoned's actually not a bad thing buttressing up Obama's perceived lack of experience. But Palin was a Fargo-talking, winking automaton who never ever strayed from her script or gave any sort of indication that she knows anything about anything.

Ask yourselves: what kind of mavericks bent on bringing change to Washington invoke Reagan's spirit over and over? The only thing that was missing, and I was waiting for, was the "It's morning in America again" line. Someone should have fucked with her notes and written in: "And at the very end of the debate, take off your glasses and forcefully utter: MR. GORBACHEV, TEAR DOWN THIS WALL."

I"ve pretty much written as eloquently as I can about this entire election both here and on countless other sites, so now I feel like I can just let loose and say: she is one big redneck clusterfuck barreling down a hill of shit.

Anonymous said...

Did you notice that she prounces nuclear the same way W does?

Erin O'Brien said...

A lot of people are terrified of FuturePalin. But anyone considering putting their bankroll behind her knows that she comes with all those Couric clips, all those SNL clips.

And regarding time, I think Camp McCain is going to keep missy away from pesky reporters and press conferences where she can't get away with saying "I'm not going to answer your questions" like she did last night.

Erin O'Brien said...

damn, you are commenting faster than I can publish responses!

It's true, Ifill did cowtow to her pre-critics and the result was lots of milquetoast. In the end, I thought Palin took a loss because of it.

New. Cue. Lure.

Velvet Fog said...

So tell me, how did the 'debate' go?

deangc said...

Heh. The big news this morning is that Palin exceeded expectations.

Like that's a fucking stretch. In effect, they're heaping praise on her because, while Biden kicked her Chanel-wearing witch-burning Lauder-caked ass around the block, he didn't do it quite as thoroughly as people thought he would, so therefore she 'exceeded expectations'.

Mother of God, what have we come to, where even failure is a success?

deangc said...

I blame Bush. That motherfucker has ruined everything.

Erin O'Brien said...

Bush's done all he can in order to leave the U S of A in flames.

That bastard.

Zen Wizard said...

I have been wrong on every single thing I have said about this campaign, but it looks like for McCain it's all over but the crying.

The Michigan withdrawal is not an auspicious sign.

Chris said...

I think she nailed it in terms of poise and presentation (memorization will do that for you), but she came across forced, rote, and empty to me. Joe stammered, made grammatical errors, but he felt more real, honest, and open to me.

One of the pundits said that if you liked Palin before, you'll probably continue to like her after last night, but if you didn't like her, then you hate her even more now.

One thing I really wish the debaters were forced to do is cite their sources on the spot. "John McCain voted X times against tax cuts" "I beg to disagree, but John McCain didn't" Ok, one of you is either a bold-faced liar or confused. Somebody cite me a source or two. Prove to me that you're not talking BS. I could be a debater too, if nobody could tell if I was lying or not.

Chris said...

As a follow-up to my comment,'s FactChecking on the debate...

FactChecking Biden-Palin Debate

jonas said...

I was up early, that's all. Watched the "debate" with a small group of ardent O'Biden supporters.

No, she didn't fail, and did better than expected. But nonetheless, methinks we ought have higher standards. Biden did quite well not to make her look alot worse.

If anything can be said against the moderator, it was that she allowed Palin to wander well away from questions she couldn't answer. Not sure why that was ok.

Oh well, all in all, the whole thing only changed a few votes.

Yes, EB...NU-CU-LER. Duh.


Mack said...

If I don't have a pannick attack before this is all over I will be surprised. It really saddens me that people fall for the "aw-shucks I'm just like you" bullshit. I am terrified. This is my future we're talking about and I'm scared for it. I'm glad I'm dating a guy that has survival skills because I can see us back in the stoneage in no time flat.

stefaddink said...

Hallelujah is right! Soo glad Ohio is blue.