Tuesday, September 09, 2008

The little known connection between Rudy, Mussolini and puppies

So I'm doddering around the bedroom this morning, making the bed and picking up clothes. I turn on the television and scroll through the channels en route to CNN. One click from my destination, I hesitate on the CriCut infomercial to see how to use this fun, fast and easy creativity machine!

A woman is interacting with something that looks like my printer in a manner that does not appear fun, fast or easy. She's making a card that says "I miss you!" and has two puppies on it.

I advance the channel to CNN. Rudolph Guiliani (who, based on the ethnicity of his last name, is clearly linked to Benito Mussolini as well as Adolph Hitler since both of their first names end in -dolph) is beneath the dazzling lights of the Republican National Convention, pumping his fists in the air as he repeats "Drill, baby, drill" along with the crowd. I watch for a moment, wondering how his teeth are adhered to his head.

Since there is absolutely nothing to be gained from this footage or any news story associated with it, I opt to return to the affable woman in the cardigan. Fluffing a pillow, I bear witness to the revolutionary breakthrough in paper shaping that puts scrapbooking without limits at my fingertips.
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During her research for this post, your humble authoress stumbled upon McCain's second and third runners-up for the Republican Vice Presidential candidate:


deangc said...

I think you should do infomercials.

Oh, this is a rich topic: O'Brien doing infomercials. I can just see you peddling the Cricut in your cute midwestern accent.

"Now slide that fucker in there... oh shit, am I allowed to say that? Crap!"

God, I'm making myself laugh just thinking about it.

Anonymous said...

this has SNL written all over it.

Helen Mansfield said...

I do on the odd occassion scrapbook, which is like the only girly thing I do. And I've already put the Cricut on my list to Santa.

That beast is expensive!

Erin O'Brien said...

Helen, you are a better woman than me. I don't think I could figger out the CriCut for love or money.

That said, you have my absolute support in this endeavor. Santa had better bell up on this one!

Mongrel Porksword said...

I certainly wouldn't mind drilling Sarah Baracuda!